Umm... Well nine kids, 10 and 11 on way, help!!

[worriedmother7787]

So I have 9 beautifull children at the moment i have 6 DS's (16,14,12,10,6 and 3) and 3 DD's (18, 5 and 2) We said one more make it an even number but found out we were expecting again im not going to lie i was hoping for another girl but no we are having twin boys!! 11 kids OMG!! So on a previous post i asked about living arrangment (I am bout to move into 5 bedroom bedroom house) THis is how i am going to do it, biggest room to smallest (all sort of same size just a bit diffrent room 1 quite big!)

Room 1- DS/D 6+5+3+2

Room 2- Me and Dh + twins for 8 months
Room 3- DS 10+12
Room 4- DS 16+14
Room 5- DD 18 -moving in 8 months then twins rooms

Then in 2 year and a bit time (at the ages they will be then)-

Room 1- DS 16+12+14
Room 2- Me and Dh
Room 3- DS 8+5
Room 4- DD 7+4
Room 5- Twins

Do you think this will be fine I will tell them they will only have the furniture they have at the house now no paint. Until the second redo of rooms then the deal is they can have redo of rooms! I will save money give them a budget and can spend on what they like because i wont re change rooms till years later.

Also I have to do 2 school runs I would let DS go to school byselfs (Cycle walk) but DS12 has an ASD and wants me to take him to school as he dosent like seeing all the other student, i have to take him to door. But I have to take DS/DD to primary thats on journey first i have to take a 4 minute diversion but i cant take them to school any earlier school said no ( the secondary school starts at 8:15 and its a fivteen minute drive and you cant take children to school any earlier than 8:00. This causes Older DS's to be late to school. Do i let the 2 older Ds's walk/cycle to school. To not be late then drive other DS to school late (School dosent mind him being late as it means he misses the rush and he is in the "Special class" in SEN block anyway. But it almost seems bad driving him and no the other 2!

Any tips for:
bedtime times cant get my head round these ever!
Homework (3 0f 9 (at moment) have SEN needs
Chores
Getting on with each other more (I can see y they dont sometimes tiny house with 9 kids!)
TV time (who gets what)
Spending time with each individually (especially when twons come)

Just evreything I fell like I am failing as a parent at the moment DH is a doctor and works werired shifts so!!

Please help.

No advice at all but wow , you must have been coping with 9 or you wouldn't have risked having one more. Also you will never have to worry about a lonely old age! Good luck and enjoy your babies.

Didn't want to read & run .... You are my hero.

I struggle with one!

Congratulations

No advice as I'm confused just reading that but just wanted to say congratulations

Thanks bikeandrun i love all my babies (the 18 and 16 year old i still call my babies) I guess i was coping and felt 1 more was right as eldest where leaving very soon and i will sop there!! But just 11 i cant bear to think!

Well you would qualify for help from a charity called Homestart. You can self refer and get a volunteer to come over once a week to give you a hand with the little ones.

Thanks ishouldcocoa that really helps i will look into !!

Adding twins certainly sounds tough. But you were managing with 9 enough that you wanted to add one more so hopefully the difference between 10 and 11 isn't too much! ????

If i am honest travellingtoad i am not to sure that even 10 was the right way to go. Let alone 11! But i will love them i know

Actually, worried - you may even qualify for 2 volunteers!!
Hope they are able to help you - they're there for Mums like you.

I'm only one of five but we were paired up so number 1,helped number 3, 2-4, 3-5 with homework, reading, sorting clothes doing chores etc.
Think it swapped around as we got older but you get the jist.

Congratulations

Your plan sounds fine, but assumes that both your eldest children will have left home. Do you have a contingency plan for if this doesn't happen?

And congratulations by the way

Congratulations!

Is there any chance you could employ a cleaner or a home-help to help with the chores/washing, or to keep an eye on the other ones whilst you do some chores, OP?

Obviously, paying for home delivery of groceries will be a must, but I'm sure you do that anyway.

I was dizzy just reading about the school run situation, so I can't help you on that one, I'm afraid.

Try not to stress, in my book anyone who has nine already must be able to cope with #10 & #11, even if the do come at the same time .

How do your other DCs feel about it, worried?

I would start assigning chores now. With DH, try and come up with a rota that will best fit your situation when the Dtwins arrive, to get everyone as used to it as they possibly can. That way, if it needs tweaking at all, you've got time to switch things around.

I've just read your OP again.

Yes, in answer to your question. I'd let the other two DS walk/get the bus to school. That way, everyone who needs to, will get there on time, and the DS who needs you to drop him at the door, will be late, but school won't mind. I wouldn't want mine cycling, but that's because I'm a bit precious, and would worry myself sick about the rush hour traffic, but good on you for not being like that!

I wouldn't personally worry that one son is getting driven, and the others are having to walk - the exercise will do them good and benefit them in the long run. You'll just have to explain that it isn't favouritism, or about what's fair, but about you ensuring that everyone gets the best start to the morning that they possibly can.

When are the babies due?

If you have 9 and decided you could cope with 1 more, then I'm sure you can cope with another 2. Having said that with 4 under three. Crikey!

The living arrangements sound fine, you have no option really. Big families end up sharing. Everything else, chores etc... They go up to 18 years old you must have arrangements in place already, keep at it and get the older children to help as much as possible. Getting on together, who knows, children fight and argue with their siblings, nothing is going to change that and you're going to have it amplified. Regarding the school run, you're probably going to need help. Can the oldest walk the 12 year old? Can a friend help? Can you afford some kind of mother's help?

You're not going to get many mums on Mumsnet with experience of such large families.

Good luck.

And don't feel guilty about driving your 12 year old. Explain to the other 2 the reason behind it and that school advise he can come in fractional later.

You know OP, 12 is a much nicer, rounder number than 11...

Huge congratulations on your impending additions

The teenage boys will probably be pleased not to be driven to school by mum, it's not cool, walk/bike/bus is what most kids this age do anyway.

Good luck with it all!

Thank you for all you're support

Your son with ASD is he eligible to qualify for the council to provide his transport to school? Is he not comfortable with his older bro/sis going to that school seeing him into class? You deserve a medal just for coping with the school run never mind the rest of the house! I'm sure your twins will slot in fine your older dc are at age where they can help out with the younger ones.

Is there not space in the car for other two older ones as well as DS12? If secondary starts at 0815 can't you drop him/them off first and then drive to prinary? Surely prinary doesn't start before 0835?

Do you have help at home? If you're partner works will you be ok alone at home when the twins are born? I would try and get a friend or relative to stay for a couple of weeks (mum maybe?) when your partner goes back after paternity leave to give gou a few more weeks of another set of hands. Then try and get a Homestart volunteer.

That sounds fine!

I'm currently being kept up by my beautiful 9th baby, shes 2 says old.

We have a 3 bed with a big loft conversion and are getting an extension in the next couple of years.
loft- dd 13, 12, 7
room1- ds 9, 8, 5
room 2- dh, me, newborn dd
room 3- ds 2, 1

little miss newborn will join ds 2, 1 in their room when she's a bit bigger until we have the extension and then the 5 boys will be in the loft and room 1. We stay in room 2. baby dd in room 3 and the extension will be 2 rooms one for the older 2 girls and one for the middle one.

I feel slightly faint even thinking about 9+ children.... Wow!!

Norland nanny have to do multiples as part of their training- if they could support might that work?!