3close then one with bigger age gap

[littleraysofsunshine]

We have three under 4.5. 18.5months apart and almost 20m apart. So a year and a half gap each really... We would've had our fourth the same but life's been hectic! We were thinking maybe this time next year so conceive in July? That would make for a 2 yr 4 month gap... Who this be an issue as the three are so close? As its a slightly bigger gap..

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I've seen a couple of your posts about this, sunshine, and you've been unanswered. I have 2dcs with a 3.2y age gap, but am happy to give you my opinion

A 2.4y gap is still a small gap and I don't think your dc4 would be in any way negatively affected by having just an extra year or so between him/her and your 3rd dc

FWIW, if we took the plunge and ttc dc3, there would be almost 4y between my dd2 and a dc3. I've seen that gap in other families and it works well for them. Each gap has it's benefits and drawbacks. It's all about what works for your family

Thank you for your response

I have four DC. The first three were very close together, eldest 2.9 when third was born.
I had my fourth with a 2.9 age gap between No's 3&4

To be honest, I've found the gap difficult. No 3 had been potty trained and in his own bedroom for a few months before no.4 arrived. We had, for the first time in years, experienced more freedom with the DC eg out for lunch, playing a game together
With the first three, we were in the zone of nappies, broken sleep etc
We love no 4 as much as his siblings and wouldn't be without him. I found/am finding him hard work(18 mths now) but he is quite a high maintenance little man. The pregnancy was a surprise, unlike the first three, so this may also be colouring my view.
Good luck with everything

I'd say for your sanity you might be wise to do as you suggest, then you won't have them all at home at once. I'm sure the gap won't hurt in terms of their relationship and it could be a life saver for you. Hats off for having three under 4.5 as it is!

Hello to Molotov (waves) Not wanting to derail but have you reached a decision on ttc3?

I have thought a lot about this myself over the last couple of years. I had 3 under 3 as well - dc1 was 2.11 when dc3 was born - I have wondered and wondered about a 4th dc and dc3 is now 3.8, so the age gap would be at least 4.5 years!! I did get pregnant last year, but miscarried at 9 weeks and couldn't face ttc again. I am now 99% sure we won't try again and I do think it is right - the main reason we had our dc so close was in the hope that they would be close (they are) and that we would have a long period of being able to do things all together that everyone would enjoy (so far, so good), having a 4th dc now would change what we planned so carefully. That isn't to say that I don't think children with a bigger age gap between them can't be very close, but we planned our family in a particular way, based on our own experiences growing up, and we have decided to stick with it.

Hi kavv, no, still undecided I'd happily have another baby/child but am not keen to go through birth/recovery again ... but that's not putting me off thinking about it every day.

I'm thinking about just dtd and seeing what happens over the next few months and see what happens: to let fate decide.

hi , i have 5 dc and have different age gaps between them all ,
between dc1 and dc2 there is 2.1 yrs , between dc2 and dc3 there is only 14months , between dc3 and dc4 there is 17 months and my biggest age gap is dc4 and dc5 which is 3.9 yrs , so we had finished with all the baby things and nappies and night feeds , but wouldnt have it any other way

emmie, what's it like to go from having finished with nappies/prams/night feeds, etc, to having a newborn again?

It was pretty seamless going from dd1-2 (just 3y) but there would be at least almost 4y between dd2 and a dc3.