Left it too late for third child?

[lilacdays]

I am 43 and have a DD13 and DS10. I had a mirena coil for 7 years after DS was born, which was advised due to very heavy periods. My DH always wanted 3 children but I had always imagined having two, and he didn't push the issue. Over the past couple of years I have found myself longing for another child. I have recently had the coil removed due to side effects and the broody feelings have increased - possibly hormonal. We have talked about perhaps having one more try. However, we have some anxieties. We have been blessed with two healthy children and are aware of increased risks to older mother and child (DH is 43 also). We wonder about the effects on the family of having another baby when the older two are now so much more independent; we enjoy lots of activities together and a baby would change our routine a good deal. We wonder about how it would be to start again socially with a new set of postnatal parents, when we are already the parents of a teen and a tween. How would it be for the child to have two much older siblings who will eventually move out? Finally, we wonder about if we'll remain healthy and active for the next 18 years. We have a number of friends who had children in their (very) early 40s who are some of the most energetic parents we know, however!

Of course this may all be academic as we don't even know if I could conceive again. I don't feel I can talk to friends as I feel as though I must come across as ungrateful for what I already have. Have I left it too late? Anyone else had a similar experience? Thank you.

I'm in a similar situation at the minute although dont have the big age gap, currently have 3 DC aged 8, 6, and almost 3. I always wanted 3 so felt done and got rid of all baby things.

I knew that dh would have loved another right from having our 3rd but at the time I didn't want any more and he didn't push the issue.

Now our youngest is growing up I'm now starting to think 'maybe' but have I left it too late as I'm now almost 42 and have the same thoughts as you about how will I be in another 18 years etc

I'm afraid I don't have the answer but wanted you to know that someone else it going through similar thoughts and feelings so you aren't alone

Think carefully about the antenatal testing and risks first. Eg Would you have an amnio and what would you do if the result was positive.

Thank you for your posts. It is really good to know others have similar issues. We had discussed testing, and would find it very difficult to contemplate a termination in the event of any unexpected results. We did consider how another baby would impact on our elder two. I think, after long discussions here, we will just be thankful for the two we have, but would definitely have tried for a third if I had my time again and was a few years younger, and the wistfulness may take some time to pass. Thank you again.

I had my 3DC at 42, he's now 18 months. My other 2DCs were 16&13 and he has fitted in perfectly. The older 2 love him to bits and the eldest is like a 2nd mother to him. They've both said they can't remember the time before him and that life must have been really boring ha ha. I must admit the sleepless nights were hard going as a newborn, but now they seem a distant memory and I love it

i can only help with the age between your kids if you were to have another. My eldest is 10 and youngest are nearly 11 months (I do have some in between) some days are great and the eldest is a great help, she's even been known to thank me for having them because they're so much fun but then we have other days where you have to go from the dramas of a 10yr olds life to changing a nappy repeating ddadadadadadadada while listening to the latest on whose not friends with who anymore. But on the whole it's great and in yrs to come I hope they get on as well as me and my sister do (10yrs between us)