If you work, how do you do it?

[Fathertedismyuncle]

I have been at home now for 10 years (worked part time at various intervals). I would like to go back to work. I am fortunate that financially I don't have to work for us still to be able to live comfortably. I only say this because I feel it would be pointless placing stress on our family for a job that is not going to be worth it. However, I feel like I want to work. I gave up a good career when we had the dc and I want to use my brain again.
The children are 9,7,4,2. The youngest will start preschool in January and will be in school 18 months after that. The eldest starts secondary next year. We are currently out every afternoon after school doing clubs/activities etc. At the beginning of this year we had a four week period when at least one of them was ill and out of school. I just have no idea how I would hold a job down in these circumstances. My husband's salary is far more than my earning potential will ever be so we can't switch roles.
If you work and have a large family with young children please can you tell me how you manage and if you had the choice would you still work?
Thank you

You would need a nanny and a cleaner...

Have a brainstorm about what jobs you could do as self-employed as you can be flexible then around your kids and even work from home. Hubby and I are both self-employed musicians and are fortunate enough to work from home; although we manage our own cleaning, we do have a nanny for the times we are both working. In addition to this I have a small eBay shop where I sell our second hand clutter for an avg of £50 a week. I knew one mum who followed the stock market and made money from her home computer from buying/selling stocks and shares. Another makes handcrafted baby knick knacks and sells from her self-run website. A lot of jobs can be done online these days or even part time. With a large family you just need a bit of imagination and creativity - it doesn't have to be a conventional 9-5er these days.

Thanks Felangle. I do already have a small business selling online. We have been going 3 years now and turned a (very small) profit this year. It just feels so soul less though.

We both work and have 3 dc. It definitely involves a lot of juggling. We work opposite shifts so one of us is always at home. There are pro's and con's though, we don't have a day off together other than if one of us books a holiday but at least we don't have to pay child care costs. Hope you find a solution.

I work 3 days a week as a nurse. Dh works away often during the week.
We couldn't do it without an Au pair.

I teach full time and have three sons. Am also a single mum. I just manage everything with the help of my trusty calendar months in advance. It is doable but you just have to be organised....

I have 4 dcs, 13,10,6 and 2. I would love to retrain when my youngest starts school BUT I am worried how? Dh has a high flying job and it would be down to me to cover sickness and any gp/dentist etc appointments. Wr have had so
Much illness this winter, i would never be there! Makes me wonder if I should sah when littlest starts school?

Sorry not much help.

I work 19 hrs a wk and am a single parent. I do 9 hrs in the evenings (youth work) after youngest 2 are in bed, leaving teenagers to babysit (I did struggle with the decision of leaving my older children babysitting, but it was that or give up my job when my dh left) and 10 hrs cleaning in a key holder position, so I can do it when suits me. The expense of childcare is the biggest obstacle. Remember you will have 4wks holiday per yr which you can use for individual days off for dentist etc and you can't be sacked for taking time off to care for sick children.

It is doable but without any childcare help I wouldn't recommend full time hrs.

I have 4 DC and went back to work when DS4 was 4.5 yrs. FT is doable, but only through a combination of organisation, excellent childcare and compromise. Like some of the other posters, my DH is the higher earner, so it's been up to me to cover school plays, assemblies, sick days, teacher appointments etc. as well as all child and domestic responsibilities. I've done this through employing au pairs (been lucky), using holiday clubs and cleaners at pinch points.

I'm now entering a new phase where the DC don't respond to AP any more, and now 3 are in secondary school I feel I need to be home more to prevent them from running feral after school and in the holidays. I think I may leave my current demanding management consultancy role for a local PT job and take the summer off.

I'd be interested to hear from other mums-netters who've managed large teen families and held down senior roles without having to compromise.

Yikes I am also finding the juggle more challenging as my five grow older (two are teens). Fortunately they have a long journey back from school and DH + au pair are usually around 4-7pm, by which time I'm home .... and then he's out.

Senior role ok so far but I have cut back hugely on anything optional / for me so I can be around for teens ... they need SO much time and all on their own terms.

I only manage because my parents and local and fill the gaps between dh & I being home.
I'm actually a student now rather than working but same juggling but for the next few years I've long summers though I'm going to have to work too

DH and I both work full time, and it's not quite so manic since DC1 and 2 moved their primary residence to their dad (against our wishes, but that's another story). However with DC3 and 4 being autistic, it's still challenging, and the only way we manage it is because he works from home, and we have 6 hours of help a week from a nanny/cleaner. It's not easy though - I leave at silly o'clock to try and finish as early as possible so I can at least have an evening with them all, and I'm regretting taking this week off, as when DH has to work abroad, I'll either have to pay loads to get our wonderful nanny to put in some serious overtime, or take time off. And I'm trying and failing to study for a degree as well! Madder than a mad thing

Looby.. When you say don't respond to ap? What do you mean? I must be lucky. Eldest dd is nearly 13. I know it will get interesting as she hit 16,17,18 with an ap at home, younger are 2,4 and 7. So we will have one till I can cut back on working.
Dd currently loves the older sister relationship. I ensure she is doing as she is asked and show respect and helps so.

I have 4 dc 11, 8, 6, 6. I work in education part-time & negotiated to work more in term-time so hols aren't such a problem. I've been there 15 years, but don't think anyone could walk into a job like that now. Its a reasonably well-paid job with autonomy & responsibility, I enjoy it.

I think self-employed is definitely worth thinking about if you're going back to work. I'm trying to beef up my CV thinking about freelance writing as my job may be made redundant next year. I use an after school club one day a week & holiday clubs but it's getting tough with my 11yo ds as he has aspergers and doesn't cope well with organised clubs.
As I'm headed for a house of teens, why do they need more time? I've had 4 under 5, I was hoping that might have been the toughest stage!

I have 4 and we both work FT, albeit relatively flexibly (but hard!) in terms of both hours and location. It takes a lot of juggling and some help from outside - childminder/cleaner/grandparents etc. Biggest step forward I took in making it manageable was to learn to (finally) accept genuine offers of help from non working friends ("I will take DD to dance/bring DS back from football with my DD/DS") so that DC could do all the pre/post school activities they wanted to. Previously I'd insisted on doing it all to prove a point and there was no need. I help my friends out in ways I can and that lightens the load a lot.
Between us we cover all the sports days/sick days/school events. I love my job and I know my DC are proud of me working and respect that whilst I can't always be there, I still do a great deal with them. But it's definitely tough and "me-time" is between 11.37 and 11.42pm at night!

Do you have room for an au pair? They could do the ferrying about to afternoon classes.

There's a book called 'the compleat (not typo) woman' about women who had 3+ kids, high flying careers and long marriages. It's a bit dated (80s) but I found it helpful to hear the stories of these women who 'had it all'.

Invariably it involved very supportive husbands and buying in help.

I was in your situation.
My husband decided his company was tanking and quit his job just as I finally got interviews to go back to work. DH wanted to be freelance after that. We had about 3 months of not much income but luckily had some savings while he got business of the ground.

We both work PT now, it's really nice :).

I have 6 and work. I started out part-time and slowly moved to full time. I work very hard and my employer has recently agreed to let me work at home 2 das a week. It is tough but got easier as the older teenagers are now able to do chores and watch the younger ones when needed. We all pitch in. But some days I just fall into bed. I do find that I am incredibly organized to cope and also, things at work people get upset about don't bother me. No one is sick or bleeding so who cares. I just show up, smile work and put the money away for kids uni.

I work part time , I am meant to work 3 days a week but often do a lot more. We have 4 dc's aged between 16 and 10, so I'm trying to increase my hours as they get older. I work opposite shifts to my dh so no childcare costs.