Ahhh broody!

[Shanl93]

I have 2 children, evie who is 3 in june and oliver who is 2 in september. I fell pregnant around 2 months ago and was forced to terminate at 6 weeks and 3 days. I was continuously told i wouldnt cope, the house isnt big enough, my aunt was going through her second misscarriage at the time and it wouldnt 'be fair'. My partner agreed and didnt want it. It broke me, i feel guilt every single day. The pregnancy came as a complete suprise and at first i was not sure what i wanted, then i grew to the idea and was happy, but no-one, my partner, mother, mother-in-law would let it go. I had my 2 children close together and another child was 'too much'.
Now, 2 months on my hormones are sky high, i am so broody, i wonder how id be feeling now if i had of carried that child. I would love another one but it is 'too soon'. My aunt is trying to conceive again and that 'wouldnt be fair'. She has fell out with me when i had both my children as she struggles to carry them.
We have our own house, new car, my partner works 7 days a week, we have a lot of savings and are taking our children to disney in june. I wish i could convince my partner! Hormones are a terrible thing! I would love another, too soon or not! Just wish there wasnt as many judgmental people about Xxx

Firstly the fact that your Aunt is having problems carrying babies shouldn't really be anything to do with your decisions. Yes, it's an awful thing she is going through, and it must be incredibly hard to swallow when other people who already have children, and therefore don't 'need' any more fall pregnant. But you are saying that 'it's not fair'. Unfortunately life isn't fair, and yes she has been dealt a crap hand, but that's not your responsibilty. She deserves sensitivity around the issue, and enough space to grieve and accept her dreadful losses but no one should expect your decisions to revolve around her situation.

Secondly you seem to be suggesting that your mother/mother in law pushed for the termination. I think they should back the hell off and let you and your partner decide what's best, it's your life after all.

If you do decide you want another, you need to discuss it properly with your partner. What are your plans for the future, where do you both see yourself in five years, how will this affect you financially and emotionally. How is it going to affect your children. You need to both be on board completely.

It sounds like you are grieving for the pregnancy that you lost, and of course you will be wondering wondering what would have been. I really think you should give yourself some time to come to terms with it until making any decisions.

I hope that hasn't come across as judgey. I have 4dc and the fourth was very unexpected and probably unaffordable. It's just that from your post it seems like the decision to terminate wasn't yours at all and that bothers me.

Hope you figure it all out

Let me just quantify the 'where do you see yourself in five years' - of course children are for life!

What I meant was do you want to do the baby stage all in one go and conceivably have 3 in five years time that are past the baby stage? Or would you be happy to have to start the baby stage again having already got past it?

What age gap would you actually want?