I think I want another baby

[jemstipp]

I already have two beautiful girls. One is five the other almost three. For w whole now I've been thinking about having another. Not because I want a boy or anything like that. Am I just being broody. Does everyone get this way? Every baby on the tv, Facebook etc makes me smile and think about it. Is it possible to give three the same amount of love and attention as two and what are the cons of three. Thank you in advance

I only have one ATM, however completely and unbelievably broody so hopefully will be pregnant soon! However I am a nanny to 3 boys! (Only 2 days per week)

The boys absolutely love spending time with their mum and as they are a bit older that yours they have so many various school clubs, swimming, beavers, play dates etc etc that whilst two are out she manages to have "special time" with the other child! It works really well! The boys are so well behaved and each loved the same that I think it is possible to do!

Good luck x

I've got 3 children. It is hard to spread my attention but I wouldn't change it.
Pros: my three adore each other - they miss each other when they are at school/nursery. They play together and if one wants time on their own then the other two still have someone to play with. If you asked them then I know they'd say they love having more than one sibling.

Cons: you might need a bigger car! You are outnumbered. Lots of things are catered for two adults and two children.

Obviously the more children you have the more difficult it is to give them all as much attention. However, I think this is made up by the fact that they are part of a bigger family unit and have the extra attention etc from more siblings.

I think you have to be realistic and be prepared for the extra work/cost etc another child can mean but ultimately if you and your oh want a bigger family then it can definitely work.

The cons certainly haven't put me off - I'm now expecting number 4!

I'm in a very similar position Jem, have healthy & happy 3.5 yr old & 1 year old girls but have been broody since youngest was about 6 months. Can't explain it, DH thinks I am insane & is constantly telling me why it's an awful idea (you can take a child each when there's only 2, when there's 3 one is always left out, as they get older doing clubs etc becomes a logistical nightmare with 3, the world is set up for families of 4 (cars, restaurants, holidays...), we don't have family close by so I'd be on my own, nightmare when they're ill or you are ill etc etc). I know all this, and I'm not sure if I'm not just having trouble of letting go of the baby phase but it's a feeling I can't shake. I only know one other person in RL who has 3 kids and it's chaos (and not in a pleasant way), and I very much like order & calm!! Would be v interested to hear the experience of others?

I'd be worried if I had another one, a couple of years later I'll be broody again lol

The broodyness never stops! I have 5 girls aged 9, 7, 4, 2 and 7 months. It is hard work and obviously you have to make more effort to give them individual time but its so much fun having a bigger family.

They love each other so much and although they argue they wouldn't be without each other. the pros definitely outweigh the cons!

(I really don't think i will ever stop being broody )

Mama it's giving the individual time that I worry about - how do you manage it? I already feel like I don't give my 2 enough, I always seem to be telling the eldest to wait while I stop the baby from launching herself off the sofa or ignoring the youngest cos the eldest wants to practice her writing, I can't imagine managing all that with a newborn as well? And then when they get older, how do you help them all like with homework and things like that?

I have a 3boys 5,3,1 and i personally struggle giving them the time they demand although what they demand doesn't necessary mean is reasonable but what i find is that i constantly having to say no and still can't really spend quality time with the other although im sure it will get better with time i found the first year very hard and stressful as i had all 3 at home 3 out of the 5 days and had no help. Sorry didn't mean to scare you off but wanted to share how i feel. I usually start to get broody after the youngest turns 1 and for me thats the best age and thats when i start to feel broody but this time i definitely don't feel it. Not sure how i will feel in a year tho good luck tho.

Omg Rhys almost identical to my little monkeys mine are 9 almost 7 almost 4 and almost 2 and just found out I'm pregnant, sooo excited I love it, but work 5 evenings a week too, the broodyness just doesn't go the whole experience is what I love even the sleepless nights i don't mind! But what I hate is people's reactions and steriotypical judgements made. I'm dreading telling ppl my news when It should be a happy time. Having a large family is a massive skill well done to all u hard working mummy's, as I always say do what feels right for YOU coz ppl r gunna judge anyways ;) x

I have 3 - ds6, dd5 and ds3. For a long time I wanted another - I was pregnant with dc4 this time last year, but had a miscarriage at 9 weeks - we haven't tried again. Something has happened in that intervening time. I used to be just as you describe - any baby would make me feel broody, the little clothes in shops would make me all weepy, etc - dc3 is 3.5 and starting school in September and I think I am finally getting over it. It just takes time. That said, I love having 3dc - it is this lovely balance of fun and chaos, but not too much……My theory is that each child comes with more of everything - so more love, fun, laughter, but also more stress, financial burden - the only thing you have less of is time and this gets worse as they start school and start having complications with friendships and so on, homework - there is not a day that goes by where there isn't a crisis of some sort. I have a very supportive and hands on dh, who is able to 'work' from home if necessary, and I believe this has a huge impact on how I cope - doing it largely on my own most of the time would be a completely different kettle of fish. I do think that anything over the average 2dc is a bit of a leap of faith - if you go for it you are unlikely to regret it, but keeping things as they are would no doubt be equally as lovely. We are not going to have a dc4 after all by the way - we are getting a puppy - my heart is finally catching up with my head on this matter, but it has taken time. I love the baby stage, but am now eagerly looking forward to our puppy and my nieces/nephews (hurry up dsis!).

I'm having a third, but we have big gaps. The older 2 esp dc1 doesn't require the kind of care a 5yo needs.

However I'd say don't underestimate how much time and money they will take when they are older.

Personally I wouldnt want 3 teens at once!

Don't underestimate how much energy and money 3 would take .We (reluctantly) stopped at two DCs, partly because I'd had two mc so a four year gap, and I was nearly 40 when DD2 arrived If you hope to finance them through Uni it's a huge comittment . As it was ,DD 2 was finishing her last year at Uni as we retired (yes the lucky ones who went at 60).I have a close friend whose first two are the same age as mine, more or less, but she and DH are both from big families and really wanted more. After 7 mc and a 6 year gap she had number three, who is currently in her last year at Uni (mother is 57, father nearly 60) They have virtually no savings and a big mortgage still (they extended their house so all three could have their own rooms )
But at the end of the day, go with your heart. But make sure DH is onside !
I still love babies, always did, but no hope of grandchildren yet .

PS I did ask dear friend if she regretted having a third child quite recently .Obviously she doesnt regret her daughter,but she says , with hindsight, it has made life much more difficult financially and she wouldnt do it again .They have two good professional incomes (though she hates her job and would have given it up three years ago, from choice . She's retiring on miniscule pension this summer)

I'm going from 1 to 3 . I've been broody since dd was a newborn but financially another baby wouldn't have worked then. I used to sit in soft play really jealous of the pregnant women there