Do your other 3 children suffer if you have a 4th?

[roisinbacon]

Please help!!

I currently have 3 children and work as a teacher full time (6, 4, 1.5) and have just found out im pregnant again! (not planned!) Am I being selfish if I carry on as it will be less time devoted to my existing 3? I am also thinking financially, less activities I will be able to afford for all of them to do after school etc. My job is very demanding but I get to make up the time in the holidays. Please I need some others experiences of similar situations

The 4th came as a package deal with the 3rd (twins) so we weren't planning to have four. I try to give them all some individual attention. Many extracurricular activities are free or inexpensive. As you already know with 3, clothes & toys can be handed down.

At this stage in our lives (they are 14, 12, 10 and 10), the most demanding thing about having four seems to be the volume of homework they are given, but perhaps it just feels that way because the younger two are both being set the same tasks. As a teacher, I'm sure you'd be better equipped to deal with homework nagging/tantrums anyway.

Hi I'm also a teacher and had my 4th 4 months ago. My 3 elder children adore her and she has brought so much to our family. My other children are 6, 9 and 11.
We are very busy a lot of the time as they do clubs activities and homework every night but i wouldn't change it for the world. Also maternity leave is a fantastic way to spend time with your other children.
I feel truely blessed with 4 :)

I have 4 boys (16,12,10 and 6) our 4th son was a surprise but he has brought much joy to all of us and the boys would have another! (not happening!) I do think its hard work, i was working full time as a nurse but have dropped to part time now as it was just too exhausting trying to juggle everything. For me i feel that financially i can't give then what i would like, things like holidays abroad are out of the question. I would also say make sure you have a big enough house to cope with 4 growing children! We live in a very small 3 bed and its a bit of a nightmare at bedtimes!

i am considering a fourst but am reluctant as i have three bed house and currently my car is too small?? maybe i should call it a day hmmmm

i am considering a fourth but am reluctant as i have three bed house and currently my car is too small?? maybe i should call it a day hmmmm

We have 4. 12,7,4, 2.
Love it. Hard work yes, overseas trips, no ( but we live in Brisbane so not a hardship )
I definitely found a step up from 3 to 4. Have made changes with work and priorities.

Wouldn't change it tho!

I have found it really hard. My dc4 is incredibly demanding, more so than any of the others were. My dc3 is a quiet little soul and I feel he misses out as he is not as gregarious as the older two. I love them all to bits but I am definitely at my limit emotionally, mentally and physically.

I have 4. I don't think so. I make sure all dcs have their activities, try and spend time one to one even if just talking.

I love them all to bits but I am definitely at my limit emotionally, mentally and physically.

Ditto

Hiya. I agree with a couple others on here. We have 4 - the eldest is 14 and the youngest 1. We have maxxed out all our limits financially, physically and mentally. Love our new little one to bits but now we're struggling in a small three bed (3 boys and a preteen girl who wants her own room but we have been turned down for planning permission to build) and a seven seater car - both are too small for our needs (sure everyone can 'sit' in the car but the buggy, dog, booster seats, changing bag, shopping bags all have to go somewhere - even with a roofbox we struggle!) but we are stuck because of the above three reasons! Don't let it put you off though - just wish I had thought through a few things sooner and moved house etc BEFORE baby was born. Good luck

From a grown-up perspective of a family with 4dc, I wouldn't have changed a thing.
We rarely went on foreign holidays, our parents didn't drive fancy cars, and there was a bit of bedroom juggling over the years. Our brother had his own room, we had 2 rooms between the three girls and took turns as teenagers to have a room of our own - usually if you had a big exam year you got the single bedroom. But sharing was also great fun!

Growing up our house was full of family, friends, celebrations, and always something going on with somebody which we all shared the fun of.

That continues even now - #4 has just gotten engaged, #2 due her first baby in June and #3 getting married in July. And I, #1 am planning a christening for my first baby! So even now that we are in our 30s there is so much fun and richness from having siblings.

I can't imagine life without #4 in our family growing up. Hopefully DH (also one of four dc) and I will be blessed with 4 too....

Just to add activity-wise we all did free activities after school: team sports, athletics and school band.

The three girls were sent to speech & drama and dancing classes and the four of us went to swimming lessons and to music lessons for varying lengths of time according to how long our interest lasted. I helped on Saturdays at the local riding school and had some free lessons to top up my fortnightly lesson.

And we played and entertained each other a lot!

op :No , and No !!!!

I think this depends on so much more than just having 4 children, eg, the age gap, gender and personality of the child.

I have 4 dcs, the same gender, five years between them. Three adore each other, but one suffers from severe anxiety and it is causing hell for her other dcs and dh and I. This is just something you can't anticipate. it's my dc2, any concerns we had about her from the age of 3 can really be put down to the toddler years, it just seems like now, at 6, she still hasn't grown out of them.

I'm one of 5 and dh one of 4 and we must have liked it enough to have 4 ourselves. Certainly for us, having 1 or 2 wasn't really an option. But dh would like to have stopped at 3. But I guess you just don't know how the dynamics will play out.

They all do gymnastics, swimming and an instrument. When they reach secondary school our house can be reconfigured to give each their own bedroom. We have no family in the uk, so I feel a large family kind of compensates for that also.

we are expecting #4 (a surprise) and I am worried about it stretching us financially, emotionally and physically. We aren't in the UK so have very little family nearby that can or do help. We are in a 2 bed apartment that, whilst pretty spacious for a 2 bed, is no way near enough space for 4 of differing sexes and quite spaced out ages. We will be moving back to the UK next Spring though as we do need the family support now and the additional space!