How did you know..

[My2012baby]

..that you were ready for n.2?
Posting here as all of you, although you probably have more than 2, must have gone through this at some point. I have one dc who recently turned 2year old. Since dc was born I've been pretty sure in my heart I wouldn't want another one. My DH does. Recently I feel like things are maybe changing in my heart and would want one more. I find myself thinking about the future and how I would be with a new baby and not rejecting the picture straight away as I did previously. Rationally with my head I still feel like it's a no however.
So my question is what is it that made you feel like you knew you were ready/wanted one? I'm scared of making the wrong choice one way or the other

I knew before dc1 that I wanted dc2!

Before I started on the crazy journey of ttc, I wanted 4dcs. I was pretty ambitious with my child making programme and had my dcs in 2006, 2008, 2010 and 2012.

I'd hazard a guess that most posters on this thread started out wanting 3 or more, multiples aside.

Asking the reverse of this question, do you ever feel like dc2, may be interesting on the one-child family thread - could give you avert balanced view.

For me (I have 5dc) it was when they went to nursery(age 3).
Pretty sure I'm done having anymore but my youngest is only 8.5 months so it may change when she goes to school.

Thanks imip. I posted here because I everyone here will definitely have more than one, unlike the single child board, but you are right will post there too. The thing is that I also started off before dc1 thinking I would have AT LEAST 2. But reality hit and I realised how it really is to be a mother and that maybe I'm not as..."motherly" as I thought. I'm dreading pregnancy, labour, likely return of pndp.. But is that enough to stop me? Aren't these all contingencies that will pass while a dc2 will stay?

I had morning sickness for the entire time with each pregnancy. I have no idea why that didn't stop me . It is really hard to be a parent,mi had absolutely no idea how hard it would be. But they do get more interesting. Anything under 4, I guess, is really pretty demanding.

If you're young, I guess you have more thinking time?? I was in my mid 30s when I had dcs, so I didn't have the privilege of time to think through my actions!

If you look in one-child families, there is actually a similar thread there now. I sometimes look in the section when it appears on active conversations and this type of topic does come up a lot...

We also knew that we wanted number 2 before we had DC1.

We wanted at least two in an autopilot way. When DC2 was there things were pretty breezy for us until we had an accidental DC3.

And although I love the idea of lots of kids we are absolutely done. I couldn't tolerate one more night of interrupted sleep for example.

I am not that keen on pregnancies (tired) but I loved the births to be honest... All pretty dramatic cesareans but I did morbidly enjoy my time being a little bit sick in the hospital... So another week on the maternity ward sounds very tempting to me. I know that I am almost alone with this sentiment though.

I think it would be worthwhile for you to look into PND, I think many women who had that are not really keen to have any more kids. But is there something that can be done about this?

I have two kids so far, who I had at 35 and 37, both c-sections. Because of my age, I just didn't engage with my emotions about being ready or my tiredness (both of which were up and down - and I did a massive house renovation and dealt with serious family illness during pregnancy no. 2) I thought objectively about age gap and the end result, and just got on with it. I was lucky to get pregnant straight away both times.

I sometimes consider a third, but my feelings on that are trickier - balance of risks (3rd c section, I'd be pushing 40 etc) and benefits feel harder to call.

I know this sounds almost cold, but it is one way to look at it, especially if you are older. I love my kids and the gap works, and that approach has stopped me wasting time worrying about stuff. Basically, if you fundamentally want two kids, you'll cope with the pregnancy and birth. And even the 'maternal feelings' thing is tricky - you can love kids but not be a massive baby person - as long as you can cope with a mad couple of years that just isn't the end!

PS I sympathise with where you are at with 2 btw cos it sounds more like my 'do I want 3' scenario - I'd look up posts of people deliberating on 3 for your spiritual home!