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Original poster

So broody, but would #4 stretch us too far?

25 replies

Linnielou5 · 26/09/2014 11:51

Hey ladies!!
I have 3 kids, the youngest is just turned 1, I only wanted 3 but somehow I'm just not finished having kids and would love another 1. It's all I can think about, hubby isn't completly against another but I just worry that 4 would stretch us financially. I'm a sahm since having the baby as the cost of childcare was shocking, I would be paying to work which is crazy but we manage on hubby's wage, and have lots of savings, and I will go back to work eventually as the kids get older. Would another child really drain us?? Help!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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ilovemonstersinc · 26/09/2014 11:55

Watching with interest.
I have3. Eldest is4 youngest is 6weeks lol. WWould love another.
Im bloody mad arent I?!

princesscupcakemummyb · 26/09/2014 13:34

i think if you can afford it i would honestly go for it im a stay at home aswell to 3 children and we are ttc are 4th im in the 2ww actually lol

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 26/09/2014 13:37

I've been broody since ds was about a month old but was thinking wait till he was maybe 3-4 to try for another but now I'm thinking next year and as I'm at home looking after him anyway why not look after 2!

OP posts:

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 26/09/2014 13:41

That's what I worry about though what if by the time they're all at school and then move onto high school what if we couldn't afford them, seem to get more expensive as they get older, I would be back at work by then I suppose. Would hate for any of them to miss out because of my selfishness of wanting a large family.

OP posts:

MultipleMama · 26/09/2014 16:08

I'm a SAHM (used to work from home but I became ill and put too much stress on my shoulders - so only do casual work now) to 6, and we manage. I'm also PG with #7. I do plan to go back to work when they're all in some form of nursery/school.

All comes down to whether if you can afford another child not just a baby, I suppose. :)

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 26/09/2014 22:38

Wow, #7!!! At the moment I'd say yes we could afford another one, when I do go back to work it would have to be a night job to save on childcare so I guess if we're both working then we should manage financially....shouldn't we?? ??
Would love to hear how everyone manages when it comes to shopping, holidays etc.

OP posts:

MultipleMama · 26/09/2014 22:48

I do online shopping. I buy household items in bulk from online stores like amazon etc. Holidays are either camping holidays or cabin holidays and we bed share or bring fold-up cot & camp bed. Depends where we go. Can't really afford to fly and they won't let us fly as there is more infants than adults It's tricky but fun :)

CateBlanket · 27/09/2014 00:23

OP - if you were broody when #3 was a month old then you will likely be broody again when #4 is a month old. Are you sure it's not just pregnancy and babies you enjoy rather than parenting children as they get older?

Three is plenty (7 is insane). Why would you want to have a 4th and then have to work nights and miss out on spending time either alone with DH or as a family in the evenings?

Sell the baby stuff and enjoy the family you've got.

StupidFlanders · 27/09/2014 00:45

Hmm. I have 4, had5. I am not broody for any more and I was until my last so I think you know when you're done. I work and have since each of them were young so haven't felt poorer than when I had 3 but my friend with 4 has a theory that you always spend what you can afford so I doubt I'd be saving money if I had less IYSWIM.

I really enjoy my little crowd but it's not for everyone- 3 is plenty. If you have the funds for a large car and house and there's no risk of starving then you won't regret another, I've never wished my siblings away so I could have had more stuff growing up.

Basics: online shopping, holidays at family friendly places (or holiday house) 8 seater car (baby seats take up heaps of space so it's still a squeeze for a while), generous family, buy well first time, have a dh who is a builder don't over think it. (Although I should add you will question your decision many times!)

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 27/09/2014 20:16

Stupidflanders thanks for your reply, I do a lot of shopping online get things so much cheaper and we're planning on getting a bigger car at end of year anyway, and although our house isn't massive we do have 4 bedrooms. Dh doesn't want me to work just now as we are managing fine but I want to work just get some me time and have my own money if that makes sense. Cateblanket it's not the baby stage I'm broody for I genuinly want another person in the family, working at night is my only option until kids are old enough to get ready for school themselves etc (which will be when they are in high school which is years away)as childcare is just way to expensive for me to have a day job.

OP posts:

MultipleMama · 27/09/2014 21:37

7 isn't insane. It's perfect for us. We are happily content. We want a big family, not 7 babies. I know this will be our last child and I'm happy with that. As people say, I feel done. I love being at home but I cannot wait to go back to work.

I think if you truely want another child, and you can afford one. Go for it :)

ChampagneAndCrisps · 27/09/2014 21:43

We have 4 - could not do any more!
It's expensive and time consuming. Gets more expensive and busier as they get older. I couldn't contemplate working.
Have 4 if you really can afford it - but the modern world is used to families of max 3 kids. Every holiday with 4 kids is complicated and expensive.
That said, I think we are lucky and I do enjoy our family.

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 28/09/2014 14:45

Pretty sure we could afford another one in the next couple of years. For now I just want to get back to work, maybe the idea of another one won't be so appealing by then, only time will tell I suppose. ??

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WanderingTrolley1 · 28/09/2014 14:50

We have 3 DC, I'm a SAHM, could afford a 4th DC and would love more - only I don't think my body would...

If you can afford it and everyone's happy about the prospect, I'd say go for it!

PerpendicularKitten · 29/09/2014 07:12

We have 4, going from three to 4 didn't change the childcare situation for me particularly and we'd always always wanted 4. For the first time in my life I am not broody! I have noticed the extra work (and the WASHING!) but he has slotted in very nicely, the DC's love having a baby in the house. The older 2 were a bit too small to remember DC3 being born so it's nice for them this time.

Cost cutting, getting bargains, looking out for offers and buying stuff in bulk seems to have become ingrained so I guess that is how we will cope when they are older.

7 sounds wonderful! (If only DH and I had been 10 years younger when we met...). I have a friend who's mother is one of 7, she has the most amazing family, 6 aunts and uncles and loads of cousins...the all stay in touch too.

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 29/09/2014 16:30

I'm definitely good at budgeting. Will see how things are say in a years time, hoping to be back at work within that time and maybe I'll feel different by then.....!

OP posts:

Puppydogstails1 · 02/10/2014 22:06

Hi Linnielou5 - we also have 3 kids and have decided to go for a 4th. I have been thinking about having a 4th since my 3rd was a few months old and sensibly decided to wait and see...we waited 6 years and still feel the same and now I'm 40 I've had a massive eureka moment and want to go for it. My husband is hugely enthusiastic and we are now very excited about it. I have re-ignited my career and am probably completely MAD but hey ho, you only live once and I don't think I'll look back and ever regret it. Just hope I can get preggers with a healthy baby. Good luck with your decision making - don't leave it 6 years though - I wish I'd listened to my heart earlier x

Molotov · 03/10/2014 12:12

Sorry to butt in here, but puppy: what was your 'eureka!' moment? What made you want to follow your heart?

I'm trying to decide whether to go ahead and ttc #3, but keep getting cold feet, for various reasons.

TIA

Puppydogstails1 · 03/10/2014 22:21

hi - my eureka moment was helping my sister out bottle feeding her week old baby through the night (sis was a bit poorly) and feeling envious then realising that it could be me if I wanted it to happen - it was literally a middle of the night revelation and all of the old arguments seemed silly - money/career/how other people would think I'm far too old/bonkers etc...i was just like, you have one life and why not just do it??

AtiaoftheJulii · 03/10/2014 22:41

I was desperate for a fourth (kept feeling like someone was missing!) and didn't feel a moment's broodiness after #4 was born. I really like having 4 - all the fourth children I know are great

As for money - we have cheapish holidays, I stock up on packed lunch snacks from Approved Food, and we've all learnt to be careful

Puppydogstails1 · 03/10/2014 22:48

Thanks Julii it's good to hear. We feel like someone is missing too...just really hope it happens for us...;0

Molotov · 04/10/2014 08:24

Thank-you, puppy, and best wiahes to you

Original poster

Linnielou5 · 04/10/2014 20:47

Aww, good for you puppydog, wishing you lots of luck ttc. If we do decide to go for it then would rather do it sooner rather than later. Lots of people couldn't understand why we wanted a 3rd but I love being a mum.

OP posts:

littleraysofsunshine · 19/10/2014 22:34

Watching with interest! We have three.. Almost 4, 2.5 and 9months.
Thinking when to have number four too....

Angelface5 · 24/10/2014 16:08

Also watching with interest.
Have 5 dc. Oldest nearly 17 and baby is 18 months.
Any of you out there with 6 or more please tell me what it's like, is it that much different from 5 ????
And multiplemama how do you do it please tell me more. X

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