How do you help the baby of the family be, well not quite such a baby?

[purpleroses]

DH has 4 DC, quite close in age. Youngest is 11.5 and has always played the baby of the family. Eg talks in a put-on baby voice, deliberately mis-pronounces words to sound "cute", and generally acts like a much younger child a lot of the time. He is still quite sweet-looking (and sweet-natured much of the time) but it's becoming harder to sustain this role now that he's nearly 12. But how do we help him to grow up, when he seems to feel his role in the family is to be the baby? He gets told endlessly to stop the baby voice, but seems to find it hard to talk normally sometimes. I know it's always best to praise good behaviour rather than constantly criticise baby-behaviour, but it seems rather forced to say "well done for speaking normally"

Any suggestions how you help the youngest develop a more mature identity? Do we just wait for him to grow out of it? He's quite small for his age too, so I fear may get into a similar role even with his school friends of being the baby of the group.

Sorry no helpful input but looking forward to passing on any tips to my mum regarding my 30 year old sister!

No, don't tell me that! I was hoping he'll outgrow it, not still be the baby when he's 30

watching with interest...youngest is nearly 8 and definitely plays on his baby status in the family.

Do people treat him like the baby of the family? It is frustrating being the youngest. Help him to develop a new identity. What are his hobbies?

Do people treat him like the baby of the family? - they have done a lot over the years I think - eldest DSD certainly has, putting him on her lap for a cuddle, etc. But everyone's getting a bit fed up with the little baby voice, so he's getting picked up on that by all the older siblings, including eldest DSD.

Yes, I think we want to help him develop a new identity, but how?

That's a good question about hobbies - he's not really got anything that distinctly his - the DSC all do the same Saturday morning activity (drama/dance class), which they've done for years. Youngest DSS has said he doesn't enjoy it any more and wants to drop it, though doesn't have much idea what he'd do instead, other than play Minecraft I think. DH is opposed to him dropping it, and just ignores his complaints and tells him it's good for him to do it. I don't think DSS's really treated like a person who can make his own decisions on things like that, which isn't helping him to grow up really is it?

I have two that are the youngest. DS2 is taller than my ten minutes younger DD2 and looks older than her. She's cute and everyone in the family always cuddles her and she has a naturally sweet little-girlie type voice. DS feels a little left out at times as he's shyer and isn't as jokey as she is. They're both four so when they're older hopefully she grow out of this. I try to pay equal amounts of attention to each of them and she seems to realise anyway that her brother is just as little as her.

Marking place.
DS3 is immature and often plays the "I'm the smallest" card. In restaurants, he'll come and try to sit on my lap when we've all finished eating... he is ten years old! (I tell him to go and sit back down).

At school, we've been told that he is mature, independent and helpful, so I know I must be somehow reinforcing the babyish behaviour at home, or he wouldn't be doing it.

His twin sister doesn't do the babyish thing nearly as much.

I don't think it's inevitable - my youngest is the youngest by some years and has gone quite far in the opposite direction to the extent that I fret he's missed chunks of his childhood by trying to be more grown up than he is.

I think an activity of his own might be invaluable for your DSS, though. Give him some independence/control and he'll probably step up to the challenge.