getting out and about with only one adult.

[4littleones]

I have 4 children - 6, 5, 18months and 2 weeks.

I'm starting to really worry about doing anything on my own with all of them. older 2 are very good and well behaved which helps. 18 month old is a wirlwind of trouble. if he isnt restrained in the buggy he is running off in any direction and doesn't care. youngest is 2 weeks so obviously bit unpredictable. when he is asleep its fine. But usually he wakes right as my toddler is kicking off or when there is nowhere practical to stop and feed him.

Also, once I've sat to feed new baby, I can't chase the toddler.

how do you manage? my older 2 have an even smaller age gap and I managed fine, we got out and about daily.

we have had one day at home so far, first day of the holidays. already bored! will make use of other adult helpers but most have their own kids.
have a partner but he works.

I think you need to give yourself a break... Don't expect too much of yourself with a 2 week old and a 18 month old in tow.

So last summer, that was me.. 8, 5, 2, 8 weeks old.
We managed a 2 week holiday in France. And then my older two did some summer activity camp days whilst toddler was at nursery x1 day a week.

We had people round here for lunchtime play dates or met them at the park for picnics.

I drove them to stay a few days with family.

I think you need to lay low as much as possible and get in touch with friends and family to come to you.

Or, safety first, toddler stays in double buggy. Go out for day trips if you're up to it, but he must stay in the buggy most of the time. I didn't give my 2 yr old a choice, safety first. And sometimes he and baby would have to sit back for the ride so I could concentrate on the older two, doing a 'big girl trip'.

Thanks. I decided the same about having people over. So I invited my family round today so the kids will have their cousins to play with. Now i', stuck trying to tidy up before they come round and again after. And I am going to have to cook dinner too, which I planned to do in the slow cooker but I haven't even had a chance to eat breakfast, let alone prepare lunch or dinner.

I am feeling overwhelmed to say the least

I feel like the older ones are not getting enough attention. All the kids are fed, but not even dressed yet and it's almost lunchtime.

I have two toddlers and 2 9mo so I'm constantly pulled in different directions and sometimes the pushchair makes it worse; especially when they get bored of sitting!

Buying Kool Kangaroo reins saved my life. Taking them out became easier and safter because they could only wonder so far but had the "freedom" they wanted. Have you tried reins, at all?

I have 6 and two of them will be starting school so back to manouvering with 4! I plan on boba carrying one (so I can bf more easy and without boobs on show!), one in the stroller (attached buggy board) and the eldest two on reins and if they get tired they can take turns. I haven't tried and tested yet though! .

I agree with PP. Lay low for awhile, fall into routine, ask and accept all help at least for those first few weeks of craziness. Give yourself a break :)

If going out isn't the best option, have you got a garden they could play in? A paddling pool would be great in this weather so would simple crafts and plasic ball pools :)

Also online food shopping will become your best friend. I recommend it! It meant I could avoid cramp aisles with a double buggy and escape artists! :)

I think you are worrying too much. I'm sure none of your friends or family are expecting you to tidy the house before they come over. Wait for people to come over and they can then help to supervise and prepare meals.

Ball pool outside sounds a great idea. Entertain them all and no direct supervision required. Doesn't matter if the balls are thrown around the garden and it won't ruin being left in the rain.

Keep the toddler in the pram while feeding the baby, with something to entertain or if one of the older children fancies entertaining even better!! I invited people over instead when they were very tiny though

I find one adult easier because we all fit in the car, I have 10,7 and two at 3 years, same as you, older two are good (apart form DD1 age 7's backchat) but double buggy and reins came in very handy. some people moaned about reins but you know what? it worked, kept them safe and me sane.

Can you afford a mother's help, a sensible teenager to help you on outings to places like the park?

Congratulations OP.

DC4 is a couple of weeks old (nearly I think, it's all a bit of a blur), tbh I'm not thinking about taking them all off out on my own yet, I'm sure that I felt daunted about taking 3 out and that all worked out so I am thinking that it will be the same this time.

DH and I or the grandparents have taken 1 or 2 of the DC's out at a time since the birth so they have all been out doing things, just not together. I've filled the garden with toys so it's a bit more interesting out there.

Once I do get out the plan is to have DC4 in a sling so if I do need to chase DC3 over none pushchair friendly terrain I won't feel like I have abandoned the him. I'll also take the pushchair in case I need DC3 in one place.

I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement OP. I had four dc in five years so I totally understand. Firstly I would say you are doing fine as it is, just feeding and dressing everyone is a major challenge at the moment. You have very recently had a baby so do be kind to yourself - people aren't expecting a fabulously tidy house and three course meal if they come over. Ask them to bring something or do something when they arrive. People do want to help.

In regards going out, have you a friend you can do a park visit with so there are two adults? Or like a pp suggested an older teenager that could act like a mother's help?

At home you can focus on your two older dc, talking, reading, getting them to help with things so at least you feel like they are involved and you have spent time with them.

It does get easier, honestly!
Take care.

Lot of good advice with above posts. Take it easy on yourself. Stay in and arrange visits to you, but probably not back to back days so you arent overwhelmed.

I have 4 under 4, expectibg dc5. I put 2 & 1 yr olds in pram (they get no choice), and 3 & 4 year olds hold a strap on either side of my phil & teds. Theyre good about that to be fair, because theyve learned I wont compromise abd treats get taken away if they refuse etc (as a pp said, safety first).

BUT, above all that, you need to not worry about your house, your cooking, who's dressed etc etc. Shop online, get some easy 'fall back' food into your freezer, stock up on snacks for kids and yourself. Routine will come, but take your time and dont expect it by two weeks post partum. I have found our house / cleaning / cooking etc gets pretty slapdash in late pregnancy (tired) and first few newborn months (still tired!), and you know, thats ok. People who love you wont care! Good luck, be kind to yourself.