Can I afford number 3? and how long should I wait?

[zippyswife]

I thought I had stopped at 2, but ds2 is approaching his second birthday and I have a longing for a third!

I have made the decision and dh is (surprisingly) keen too. I'm just unsure about whether we can afford it.

dh works f/t and I am very part time. We bring home £3000 a month between us. Mortgage is £1000. We also receive child benefit. We have the usual bills on top and are people who generally very frugal. We still manage holidays etc at the moment but are not materialistic people. At the same time we do need to be able to afford to live!

I'm just wondering how dc3 would afftect this? I don't think we'd need to change cars as we already have a big (but old!!) car and our holidays tend to be in a static caravan/rented house so there would be no additional cost there. I have 2 ds so if it was another boy I wouldn't really need to buy clothes etc and if it was a dd I have lots of family who would only be too happy to give me bags of old baby clothes.

Another question- myself and dh are 37. I took us 7 and 4 months to conceive with our previous 2 and 4 years ago. Is it likely to be much more difficult for us to conceive this time (I googled this and was met with a lot of doom and gloom about fertility dropping at 37). I was planning on waiting till I was nearly 38 to start trying- would I be wiser to just crack on with it?

Hello there,

I'm in a similar position to you in some respects (37 with an 8 month old and considering a third child starting TTC at 38) On the fertility front, a history of recent proven fertility puts you in a different position to someone TTC for the first time, and in my view trying for a third and last child at 38 does actually give you a decent window of time to achieve that. If it really was too late for you, you would have two children, not a tragedy of childlessness - which again for me is a reason not to worry about age in the way that a childless woman trying at 38 might.

I can't comment on the money stuff in any practical sense because we earn more but are quite spendy - except to say your circs don't sound like a dealbreaker for me. In my experience, people who are frugal and good financial planners like you just do tend to manage and you will have opportunities to work more once all your kids are at school - it is more a question of the level of luxury you want for yourself.

Age wise,

I could easily on your income you have 2k for disposablr income and living costs. I could easily run 2 cars, go abroad and have a nice lifestyle on that. We do it on 1k less and always have money.

Thanks for the reply.

Yes- Know what you mean about TTC when you are fortunate enough to already have 2. Hopefully I'd chill out a bit more about it this time as I know how lucky I am to have the 2 I have.

Also agree with the money thing- I have a good friend who earns more than 4 times more than us but her actual standard of living never appears much better (other than she has tonnes of disposable cash for things). House and holidays-wise you wouldn't be able to tell the difference as I am a born budgetter (sad but handy!!).

Have you decided to definitely go for it?

Where would the baby/child sleep? We had a loft conversion so each child could have their own room.
It's not so much the baby phase - it's all the extra curricular stuff when they are a bit older that's costing us at the moment. Babies are cheap - especially when they are ebf, in cotton nappies that their siblings used and the same gender as older siblings! Our 3rd hardly cost anything until 2 or 3yrs old when we started having to pay for extra child tickets on days out, extra beds in hotels (virtually impossible!). We are also very frugal but unplanned things like weddings and DH getting a new job means things have become a lot more expensive.

melissa That's what I like to hear. Very impressed. It's our bills- council tax etc that seem to eat into the other 2k.

natural I'm not sure we could physically fit a loft conversion if that makes sense? althought it is certainly an idea. Ideally all dcs would have a room each but I think if we have another 2dcs will have to share.

How much are you spending on the rest? We have £8 house insurance, £80 council tax over 12 months, £350 car insurance for a year on a bmw, our phones, sky and broadband which is an expenditure but all those £80, water £72 over 10 months unfortunately thats standard charge here, electric and gas is never much, 12 tv licence, 24 life insurance. There isnt really much else other than food, kids savings and spend the rest.

I think my 3 are too young to really comment on the larger financial impact, they're 6, 4 and 2. At the moment we all fit in a small car although I had to replace car seats to achieve this, which was a lot cheaper than buying and running a bigger car.

We are extending the house at the moment, made possible by selling a bigger 3 bed with no potential to extend, buying a smaller cheaper one and using the difference plus a bit to extend it.

Everyone is eating more as they get bigger, we spend more on food and that will continue to go up but not in such a way for it to be a struggle.

We haven't been on proper holidays, through choice at this stage. It isn't financially unachieveable, although we have just been to a family wedding in NI and at was pretty eye wateringly expensive.

We bring home less money, our mortgage is less than yours, the net effect is broadly comparable. With better financial planning we would never struggle, lack of planning is the only reason we do.

I full expect things to become tighter as time goes on but I also fully expect to be back at work by the time that happens.

Council tax for us is £210 a month. Gas and Electric was £197 a month! Although they have re-estimated at £47 a month... I really don't understand how that works- but hopefully that will mean we notice a bit of a difference. On top of this we have mobile phones and a BT broadband package... Car insurance is 200 and something. Are car is pretty large and old-ish but runs- I'm pretty sure we could fit the third seat in there.

I could return to work and for another couple of days work being home another 1k a month in the future (the thought of returning to work more days depresses me but I have the option).

Even if gas and electric is that much you still have over 1k with all that out. You can definitely afford abroad holidays and a decent lifestyle for 3 children without sctimping at all. What on earth are you planning to buy?

Hmm, I'm not sure about your £47 estimate! I've just confirmed with my gas engineer friend that my average bill of £122 for gas CH is average and he pays a little more for his well maintained and insulated house!

On the 3 DCs front, I think you can afford it. Good luck!

We pay about 70 for both a month. Most of my friends are on the m eter and pay about a 10er a week. We have a massive bath though so that probably makes mine more than my friends

I think the £47 estimate is due the fact that they've been over charging us for nearly a year- I'm hoping it will average out about £100 or just over.

Thanks for the positivity on the financial front- I don't think I will let that be something that stops me!

Sorry for delay on replying! Haven't decided yet - I am going to go back to work and see first. My youngest is only 8 months, in my situation the big questions are career and the risk that with come with a 3rd c section (normally ok but still not nothing). We'll decide by this time next year I reckon....