How do you stop yourself mentally wanting more

[Mumof3xx]

We have 3 dc aged 6 and under

I would secretly love another

I know my oh would not

I know our house isn't big enough

I know we can't afford it

But I still would love a iddy biddy newborn

I did want a third for a while when my LOs were young, but my OH was firm that we had enough at two.

My oldest is 17 now and approahing University and I am very glad that we didn't have more children
Having only two meant that we had the time, energy and money to take care of the two we do have in the best possible way.
We have been abroad every year since the kids were toddlers, they have enjoyed lots of one to one focussed time with their parents. We eat out at a restaurant as a family one a week.
I have been able to afford £1200 a year to send my DD to dance classes.

We have not added to global population growth.

Babies are cute and adorable. My next door neighbour had 14 kids when I was growing up. They didn't have a pair of socks between them A miserable childhood, none of them got to know their mother.

I should add to my post. I still desperately yearn for another. My brain tells me all the reasons why it would be a silly idea if it were possible such as being too broke. I am deliberately trying to lead a life that I would struggle to do with a baby such as running, socialising and bike rides

I think there are women who always feel like this. No matter how many children they have. So having one more doesn't make the broodiness disappear. It will always be there.
Best to deal with the feelings.

I agree to some point. You can't stop yourself mentally wanting more, it either fades or it's always there. I don't think having another will stop that thought process. You just deal with it. You either have more because you want/can have more or you accept you can't.

I'm sick of hearing about "growth of population". I don't see why it should have any effect on how many children an individual family have. Hell, they were popping them out back in the day, my Great Grandmother was one of 11, and my Grandmother is one of 15. I doubt they were thinking of population then.

As long as the children's well-being are taken into consideration and acted upon, and knowing you can afford a big family then I don't really see a problem...

But it wasn't such a big problem then. We have exponetional population growth which means the population of the planet has quadrupled in the past 80 years.
We are reaching critical numbers.
Within our children's lifetime we will see the depletion of fossil fuels, agricultural land,essential minerals, water and food shortages.
This is largely because of our unsustainable population growth.

You are being blinkered if you think otherwise. If you have more than two children you are adding to the problem.

www.populationmatters.org/

Oh God, I just realised your username. You blabbered on about this on another thread regarding # of children. I'm not gunna bother replying to your post, I've said my bit.

"You blabbered on" if voicing a concern about the single biggest threat we have to human existance and the welfare of our grandchildren is blabbering, then it may well have been me.

I have never wanted more than one and have never experienced 'feeling broody' so I am probably not best to comment as life without children seems to have huge advantages to me .

But I do agree with deepblue - there is a serious over poplulation risk and I also find it hard to understand how people cope with more than 2/3 children - not financially (money isn't everything) but practically and emotionally.

The fact that you comment about a 'iddy biddy newborn' boak sounds as though you just really love babies so perhaps you could look into a job (voluntary or paid) working with babies/young children? Otherwise as some else said, you are going to always feel like this whether you have 3 or 13 children.

I already do work with children!

We are having a stressful morning today and the idea of 4 is not appealing today

Ragwort I find the phrase "iddy biddy newborn" quite sickly too.

These are human beings we are bringing into the planet- not dolls or playthings.

Again, I'd echo that if women world wide had more control of their fertility, it'd have a greater impact on population growth than a handful of women having one less child on this board.

Some women continue having children for reasons of religion, culture, poverty or lack of education. Access to decent contraception and a all-round improvement to women's rights, attacking more systemic causes of 'over-population'

It also seems a much more productive way of promoting your warnings of a global population explosion on this board, rather than attacking people who probably already have a larger family (like me!).

Your reasoning is laudable but the end results are the same. You are still contributing to population expansion.

Ah, yes, but if you were so true to your cause you would have had no children? And you yourself concede that you thought of a third. So why deny what some of us feel programmed to do (have more than two children) when others are forced through without choice and have frankly terrible lives.

I'm not denying the rising population, but the brutal suffering of some women having children, the risk of infant mortality, religion controlling women's contraceptive choices? I think that'd be a much bigger issue, especially since the average no of children per family in the uk is under 2.

What I am saying is that perhaps this isn't the appropriate place to air your arguments when you are misrepresenting the whole story. Personally part of my drive for having a large family was the loss of my eldest daughter. We all have personal stories, much like your own that you have mentioned. Also, without sounding smug, I can afford for them all to have dance classes.

Trips abroad are perhaps not the most environmentally sensible holidays every years either, since we are talking about the depletion of fossil fuels. Just saying....

This is a friendly board, larger families... Have I mentioned that?

Firstly the OP asked a valid question "How do you stop yourself mentally wanting more" so a question open to all I assume, so although this board is "larger families" everyone is free to comment.
Perhaps those that did stop at a small family number may have some more insight than those that had a brood.

Considering the impact of runaway population growth is a very serious concern, and one that the OP may like to consider.

No children may be an option for some, but hardly desirable for all if we want the human species to continue. In retrospect I am very glad that I did stop at two.
Given the stark problems that population is bringing to this world we all have to bear some responsibility to make sure that our descendants have a world worth living in.
Whether you have children in Britain, Botswana or Bali having more than two is adding to the global population growth.

Of course anyone is free to post here deep. I only wish to point out that you have, in a number of threads, posted in a pretty hostile fashion. This is larger families, and you have a number of times been pretty accusatory.

I also wish to point out that their are a myriad of reasons for over-population. You fail to recognise this. Family size is just one aspect. A contentious one at that. One only needs to look at the one-child policy and the millions of slaughtered girl babies to see the dire consequences of such overt tactics.

Personally, I beleive in a perfect world, one in which women were truly in control of their own fertility, the average family size would be naturally low. A large family is certainly not for everyone!

Also, I do find a little ironic that you are mentioning your yearly trips abroad and other aspects of conspicuous consumption (weekly dinner out). This in itself is an issue highlighted in the very interesting website you've linked to. It also mentions a very 'soft' approach to limiting family size, however, it seems to be the only one you are banging on about...

Anyway, I guess you know my feelings on the subject.... But I do feel a bit put off by someone who is happy to point out the pressure I am putting on the world's resources while travelling abroad every year....

"But I do feel a bit put off by someone who is happy to point out the pressure I am putting on the world's resources while travelling abroad every year...."

Human activity uses resources, creates carbon emissions, makes a footprint. We have since the dawn of time- made fores, cut down trees, kill animals.
If we have reasonable human population the impact of these activities is minimal and sustainable. It is also a nice way to live. I want my grandchildren to fly, to see other countries, to have plastics, heating and pharmaceuticals.

None of this will be possible soon with our current population growth. It's not human activity as such that causes the problems - it's the sheer number of people carrying out these activities.

I would live another but if I had a ds it would mean 3 dds aged between 5 and 12 sharing a bedroom and moving ththe 12 yr old in with the other 2. She would go crazy and it's not fair on her they also wouldn't all be able to go out with GPS into the car every weekend. I wouldn't get a break as I would constantly have 1 who couldn't go with them. It really would change too much and I may end up regretting it

Not wanting to engage further tbh, but clearly you are going to have the last word.

I still can't get past they hypocrisy of justifying your travel etc in the same breath as accusing others of destroying the world, that's all....

You are being blinkered if you think otherwise. If you have more than two children you are adding to the problem.

So are people who are having 2 when they should have stopped at one. Why not just have one if your so concerned? Why 2

Two will not increase population numbers.

"I still can't get past they hypocrisy of justifying your travel etc in the same breath as accusing others of destroying the world, that's all...."

It's not hypocrisy at all. Travel is a wonderful thing to do as are many human activites. It only becomes a problem if we have the huge pressures of an over-populated planet.

Hmmmm