Irrational fear

[KeepSmiling83]

Hi

I have one DC who is almost 2.5 years old. I am an only child but me and my DH always thought we'd have 2 children. We're at that stage now when we're talking about TTC but I have a real worry. I know it might sound stupid but I'm really frightened that I just won't love another baby as much. My DD is amazing and I love her so much. I look at her and just can't imagine loving anyone else as much as her.

I realise I am probably being completely irrational which is why I'm posting for a bit of reassurance. Do you just instantly feel the same about a second? I think the fact that my DH is definitely not the favourite in his family is also playing a part.

I am worried about going back to a lack of sleep (my DD is finally sleeping 12 hours without waking) and money but it is this fear that is really holding me back. Can someone shake some sense into me?

Yes I did. And it's not silly and lots of people feel like this. There was a thread exactly like this a couple of weeks ago in fact!

I know exactly what you mean though. There is extra love for the new baby. You don't take it off the first one don't worry. As I write this now, I can hear my dd1 reading a Mr Man book to dd2. She loves her more than anything too.

I have 3 DCs, DS1 is now 4yo and DTs are 20m.

What I would say is that I love all my children equally but differently. They are all different little people and that is reflected in my feelings. I could never tell you I have a favourite but different things about them melt my heart. I agree with savoy in that you create more love, you don't take it from DC1.

Dont expect your bonding to be the same as first time either. With DS1 I had the 'rush of love' the moment I saw him(water birth with no pain meds). With DTs they were probably a few weeks old before I got to the all encompassing love stage (due to complications in pregnancy, epidural and forceps birth and my being hospitalised without them after birth). I worried in those first weeks that I didn't love the DTs enough but in time I realised that was caused by circumstance and that as each child is different so each mother-child bond is different. If I'm really honest I bonded quicker with DTS than DTD which I think is down to feeling more comfortable with another boy than the unknown of a girl.

the heart's ability to love as no limits. babies carve their own space out, don't worry.

I'm an only child too. I wondered how it would be possible to llve another child as much as dd1.

I heartily second what Queen said; that the love is equal, ans different. My dd's have unique characters. Each one I absolutely adore in different ways.

Kind of like how I love my Mom and Dad. Equally. But different to eachother

Staring down at 6th child in his incubator, I can definitely confirm I love him the same as my other children, maybe a ickle bit more due to circumstances but I think that's mainly because I'm hoping love can conquer all.

As Queen said above; love is equal but different. I love my son and daughter in different ways; he's out-going and his smile lights up my day, my daughter is shy, soft spoken and her laugh is pure medicine. Different but equal :)

Thank you so much for your replies.

We really would like another baby and I think my DD would love a sibling as she loves children so I think we have decided to try later this year. I'm hoping that if I get pregnant then all my fears will go away but you have all reassured me!