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What are the hard bits if having 4?
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littlepeas · 06/08/2013 08:40

I thu

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littlepeas · 06/08/2013 08:41

Sorry!

What are the hard bits of having 4? I need a bit of a reality check I think. We are starting ttc number 4 this month and I want to go into it with my eyes open.

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DaftAda · 06/08/2013 09:32

Like the hard bits of having 3 except with less time to drink hot tea :)

I presume you have considered sleeping arrangements, car size, the expense of everyone doing clubs etc.

We love it here but 'relentless' is a word we use a lot!

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imip · 06/08/2013 16:40

Getting out and about, especially on your own with four children. I guess it depends on their age, but mine are 6, 5, 3 and 1. Whether by car or bike/scooter and carrying. All their paraphernalia...

You end up having a buggy for years!

The oldest three tend to form a little gang and they can be hard to discipline because they side with each other, ignoring you when you are trying to tell them to stop whatever they are doing etc. that bit drives me nuts.

It's hard, ESP during holidays, when you go out and about with them. I've been to a museum with a craft class today, helping them all properly was very difficult, while other parents could be more helpful to the one or two children they were with.

The nice bits, when they all play together, help each other, encourage each other, are lovely and help balance the hard bits: they just don't happen often enou!

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TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 07/08/2013 18:47

I am only seven weeks in to four, but, aside from demand EBF and potty training the 2 year-old after a c-section, I find the noise relentless (they are all shouting or crying as their current communication mthod of choice and three playing anything can make a din) and the laundry/food provision is neverending. Plus, reading/doing homework is logistically challenging.

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TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 07/08/2013 18:50

Oh, and my house is overwhelmed by clothes or toys ready for the next one and they grow out of clothes almost as soon as you have got their wardrobes sorted, usually necessitating re-outfitting them all simultaneously.

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littlepeas · 07/08/2013 20:35

It is nice though, isn't it?! Please tell me it is!

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TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 07/08/2013 21:19

I wouldn't send any of mine back, if that is what you mean, and I am very pleased to have them, especially after my PFB was a FT SB, but this is one of the phases of life where it is hard work (though it does ease up). I have three siblings and I am happy to have a big-ish family, as the companionship, the working together, that sort of thing, is lovely.

You did ask for the hard bits, not the plus-side!

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LimeLeaafLizard · 07/08/2013 22:46

Hmm. The summer holidays?!

I find it quite hard when we're all out and about and I have to work really hard to keep track of everyone. Any 3 I can manage much easier than all 4 on my own.

But yes it is lovely!

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TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 08/08/2013 16:04

Yes, the keeping track of them .....

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Charlottehere · 08/08/2013 23:00

Having less money, slightly less time, room sharing.....love having 4.

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hallamoo · 10/08/2013 20:31

The noise! The fact that it takes four times as long to leave the house to do anything - even go for a walk! The noise. I often feel like I am herding cats. The noise. The cost - during the holidays a round of ice creams is easily a tenner. If it's an option I usually nip into a grocery shop/supermarket and buy a box of them for a fraction of the cost. Did I mention the noise???

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ruledbyheart · 14/08/2013 15:38

Bigger car! The one thing I didn't even consider until just now I have 3 and another on the way, only have a regular 5 seater car, no money to buy another... bugger.

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DwightFry · 16/08/2013 15:19

The noise. The cost of a round of iceceams. The cost of a trip for shoes. Managing evening meals between a 12 yr old and a 3 yr old if you don't want to cook repeatedly.

But it is lovely and I find them easier to deal with out in a group because before we had #4, I was always vaguely aware there was one "missing" (old softy emoticon).

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MarjorieAntrobus · 16/08/2013 15:47

The number of shoes in the hall, the food bill, subsidising three at university at once (even though they have Student Finance), the chaos everywhere in the house, etc.

When they were small it was expensive to go out for the day, or go on holiday, so we tended to do things that didn't have a per capita cost. So we went on walks, picnics, camping holidays, National Trust places (membership is worthwhile we found).

But, you know, we volunteered for it. We knew what we we getting into. We wouldn't want it any other way.

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3peasinapod · 18/08/2013 21:30

This will be interesting reading!

Pg with no 4 ATM and looking forward to bubs arriving. My first 3 were very close in age and there will be 5 yrs between this one and dd... Bring it on I say. Noise in my house is solved my earphones!! LolGrin I had 3 under 3 and that was hard work. One thing for sure is I'm looking so forward to a little baby again, its been way to long...

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