how do you keep on top of things.

[candygirl78]

I have 3 dc. 9, 8 and an 8month old.
Dh doesn't really contribute much to childcare and housework, cooking, laundry etc. He seems to think this is my job as I sahm.
However, I never seem to be on top of things. Baby is frequently waking in night and I am not keeping on top of things.
How do you cope?Is your partner hands on?

Oh I know TwoPeas I wasn't having a go, (not that you have reacted like I was but in case you thought it) I was mentioning because you'd agreed with Xenia. Who talks much sense and I often admire as a source of inspiration to many here. However I just meant that to an exhausted mum of 3 including a young baby, it's sometimes best to stick smaller picture and deal with the real practicalities, than the big stuff. It's possible to feel a bit inadequate/crap if you aren't in an earning position at the moment and haven't got any immediate plans to be. If you feel like things are slipping out of control then some people react best to practical suggestions that are (pretty much) instantly achievable in order to get a grip on the small stuff, then they feel empowered to work on the bigger stuff. Not everyone's the same though, it's just one strategy

Yeah I knew the angle you're coming from cloud I just get sidetracked at the drop of a hat

It offers a ray of hope alongside the brilliant practical suggestions though, I think a lot of women suddenly realise they are backed into a misogyny-powered domestic corner, and there is no need for it to be so. The mere thought of aiming for differences is key to powering through the horribly hard first year of adjusting to larger numbers of DC

Yes, it's not easy and also not that easy to get jobs although most people faced with financial difficulties will of course try to get that evening or weekend job to help ends meet and it can be so important for husbands because if they have 3 children all day Sat and Sunday to look after, nothing is as good for making them look after the children if they have 100% of them and a house to manage for 16 hours at the weekend.

I think we cope according to our circumstances/ability. There isn't going to be an answer to your situation in my opinion - you just deal with the cards you've been given (hopefully). In my situation we both work full-time. I teach, so my working day ends when I fall asleep while marking/planning 3 hours after 3 dds (9, 6, 2) have gone to bed. Their dad contributes nothing on a day-to-day basis in terms of meals etc, as he clears out the cat-litter tray and, in his eyes, this is equal to all cooking and washing (possible true!). It is bloody hard. I have had to force myself to accept that it doesn't really matter how untidy the house is: how often do we 'entertain' and do they really care? I put a wash on every morning before I go to work; put it away when I get a chance, don't iron anything unless absolutely essential (hardly ever) , clean the bathroom tiles while I'm in the shower, etc. It's all very haphazard, but it all gets done eventually, After about 4 years I've finally come to accept it. What I still find virtually impossible is keeping up with my own work commitments (involves a lot of memory work!) along with their bloody book-bags! From what I can gather from others who are far more long-in-the-tooth with all of this is that it all gets far more complicated the older they get. Marvelous!

I don't!
House constantly seems a tip! Elder dcs who are 4&5 do do their bit and put away toys (when told) their bedroom being tidy is their responsibility.
As a previous poster mentioned its the laundry! It's everywhere. I have three folded piles to put away, a load in the dryer and half a load in the washer that will go on once dcs bath towels are in it.
I find my kitchen gets very cluttered as does the bathroom somehow! Need to invest in some bath toy storage!
I am trying to become more organised though, e.g I have already set out clothes for tomorrow for all three dcs as we are out early.
I dread to think of the state of my house once I go back to work tbh!