Not sure if this is the right place to ask this, but I know there are quite a few lurkers, like me, who like the idea of a large family but aren't really there yet. I have 3dc at the moment and would like another - my dh is erring towards no and I'm also not sure if it is totally right for us (for various reasons, but mainly because I'd need a 4th section, have rubbish pregnancies and we're a bit concerned about how we'd manage to give them all the time they need as we already feel that we're spinning plates a bit - also we want to be able to move on and start to do things altogether, instead of one of us (me) being always a bit left out, holding the baby). All this aside, I still really want another - I just feel as though we are supposed to have 4 children, I know when I'd plan the baby, whether I'd find out the gender or have a surprise, have lists of names for boys and girls, always think 'but we might have another' before we pass anything on..........and I think about it every day without fail.
I suppose what I am asking is - if you wanted another, but decided for very sensible reasons not to, did it live with you forever or were you able to move on in time and feel that your family was complete? I am worried about thinking 'I really wish I'd had that baby I wanted' when I get older. I am feeling very pulled in 2 directions and am very confused.