Close age gaps

[Neiffer]

Hi
I don't know if this is the right thread really but here goes!
I'm 32 and have a ds who is 9 months old. I've always wanted a large family and have always slightly panicked about starting our family in my 30s. On this basis we decided to start trying last month. Dh was a bit uncertain but my theory is 2 close together then a bit if a gap before 3 and 4...that way if (as it goes according to the press) my fertility plummets at 35 we'd still have 2 or hopefully 3. Thing is, I think I'm pregnant (not tested yet but I'm fairly certain) and am now fretting about whether its too soon!! What if we can't cope?! How will we afford childcare?! Am I being silly? Is it going to ruin my amazing ds childhood?! Would love to hear some success stories to help me feel better :)

Hi Neiffer

I have close age gaps - in fact almost exactly as you describe wanting yours! I always wanted 4.

There is 11 months between DC1 and DC2. Then 3 years between DC2 and DC3 (would have been closer but DC3 took a while to come along!) Then 13 months between DC3 and 4. I'm now 36, and didn't have DC1 until I was 30 so it is possible to still have a larger family. Am now also 35 weeks pregnant with DC5, who was completely unplanned! I have to admit this pregnancy has been a real killer as it is really hard work looking after the other 4 and being so knackered from being pregnant....but I just keep telling myself the pregnancy bit is not forever (although it feels like it!)

I think whatever age gaps you have there are pro's and cons. My oldest 2 who are close in age play brilliantly together, and also you never get chance to get completely out of the baby stage, so it is less of a shock. I found the 3 year gap harder as the older 2 wanted to do other things, and we were back to having to work round a small baby. Obviously childcare costs are an issue. I have managed to work part time up to now, but will be giving up work, as I'm finding it too much with 4, and I'm sure it will only get worse with 5.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - it is hard work, but worth it in the end

I knew a lady who had 4 singletons in less than 3.5 years.
She admitted it made her go a bit crazy.
Stop short of her achievement & I'm sure you'll be fine.

Thanks for the replies, I'm definitely not going for 4 in 3.5 years, eek! Glad to know close age Gaps and lots of kids can work, now to work on dh :) still need to go buy a test and see if I'm fretting about nothing!

I had a 14 month gap between 2 & 3 and then a 2 year gap between 3 & 4, 5.5 year gap between 1 & 2.

14 month gap was my favourite.

Ds1 to ds2 - 14 months
Ds2 to dd - 4 and half years
Dd to ds3 - 15 months.

They are now 7,6,2,19m. I was just 27 with dc1 and 34 with dc4! We decided to have the big gap in the middle as dc1 has downs syndrome so takes longer to reach his milestones etc.

Works really well with two sets close, big ones at school and starting to go to more after school activities but less parties. While little ones at home, no clubs but many littlies parties!!!!

Currently enjoying a lovely family afternoon in front of the fire watching films and falling out over playing board games!!!

Good luck op!!!!!