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Larger families

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Original poster

How to serve dinner to 8 people without fighting?

12 replies

purpleroses · 26/02/2012 21:27

Help me out here - DP and I have 6 DCs between us (4 his, 2 mine). He always serves meals in what I regard as school canteen style. The DCs queue up (and sqabble) in a line and he (slowly) serves each in turn. By the time he or I get to eat the food is getting cold and the first ones have finished eating. Obviously this is worse with me and my DCs as well as his own.

I regard it much more civilised to have the food mostly on the table and serve everyone from there, or let them serve themselves. But he thinks this results in chaos and the DCs not leaving enough for each other. DCs are 8-14.

Any suggestions from other larger families?

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RandomMess · 26/02/2012 21:31

I dish it up in the kitchen onto the plates - onto the table as quick as poss and eat.

theotherboleyngirl · 26/02/2012 21:32

We're a family of 6, admittedly with younger children. But I plate up everyone's (including the adults) at the side. Then call dinner ready. One person comes and helps carry the plates to table. It's never mad chaos.

Original poster

purpleroses · 26/02/2012 21:33

We eat in the kitchen, so that's not a problem. But he always takes ages with each DC asking them exactly which roast potato they fancy, etc!

OP posts:

oenophilia · 26/02/2012 21:42

Meals for 6 standard with central dishes on the table here & a mix of the 10+'s helping themselves & helping the younger ones. Mine is invariably cold though by the time I've got back up several times to fetch ketchup, mayo etc.

4madboys · 26/02/2012 21:43

we do a bit of both depending on what is for dinner, we tend to put plates on the table, and atonight we then dished up the rice and curry onto the plates at the table, and had naan bread on the table for people to help themselves.

if you are all sitting round a table with the food int he middle, you can serve it up at the table? or put some out for the little ones and then let the elder ones help themselves, also they are old enough to take care and make sure there is enough for everyone.

he must be serving it out VERY slowly tho if it gets cold by the time he gets to your dinner!

RandomMess · 26/02/2012 21:44

How old are his dcs?

Mine get what they are given - I know the foods they love and hate and dish accordingly.

Sounds like he's a disney dad?

Original poster

purpleroses · 26/02/2012 21:47

It is VERY slow! Each DC is asked whether they want each item of food, how many, and preferences over which potatoes, etc. Drives me mad! But I think it's something he enjoys doing..

OP posts:

Original poster

purpleroses · 26/02/2012 21:48

Random - 8-14. No, he's not otherwise over-indulgent. Just the way he's always done things at meal times. Maybe worked better when they were younger.

OP posts:

RandomMess · 26/02/2012 21:49

OMG that would drive all of us demented.

Just dish it up without the discussions and swap at the table if needs be

4madboys · 26/02/2012 21:58

he asks them to choose which potatoes they want?!! WHY, we just dish it up or they help themselves, and dinner is what you are given, we try and make sure we have some meals that they like, ie ds2 chose curry for tonights, but tomorrow night we are having jacket potatoes which ds2 doesnt really like that much, but its eat it or go hungry!

can you serve the dinner up just to get it done quickly, sounds like he is just faffing about tbh!

we are a family of 7, 5 kids ages 14mths through to 12yrs, so we serve up for the little 3 and the the elder 2 can serve for themselves, we do ask how much they want and i would rather give a small portion to start with and then serve up some more if they eat it all but as for choosing which potatoes they get...

jshm2 · 28/02/2012 07:52

Proper planning and execution is the key. I've only two kids myself but I'm one of 6 siblings and both my parents are one of 9 siblings and my great grandmother I'm told had 13 kids!

Anyway, the way they did it was "restaurant style". You work backwards in that you prepare your desert the day before and have it in the fridge to settle, your main meal started in time for the dinner and your starters on the spot to be whipped up in an instant.

You have your starter on the table, quick as, so they can munch away without squabbles and complaints. Something quick, easy and light like popadoms and spiced onion or carrot sticks and sour cream and chive etc - it should be a cold and simple dish.

While their seated, you in the mean time have their two main meals ready and just call out who wants what. This you can put on the plates and out as their calling them. If you time it right then your meal should be out by the time they finish their starters.

You both can then sit with them and have the main meal and when half have finished (and maybe you too) then you start "rewarding" with desert. This way they know certain behaviours and patience will be worth their while.

You want to offer choice but not variety.

Juule · 28/02/2012 08:41

Op, it sounds as though your dp likes to serve up meals school canteen style.:) What's his reply to you about getting your food cold? We tend to do similar to what jhsm2 says for main meals - get everyone seated, call out who wants what and dish up as they respond. Adults plates can be pre-warmed in the oven.
Once everyone has a plate of food they want anybody can help themselves to extra.

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