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Larger families

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Original poster

how do you afford it??

24 replies

stilldazed · 06/02/2012 05:19

I have 2 dcs and would love a third but have to ask, people with for example 4 kids, how do you afford it?
how much tax credits and child benefit do you get? does it really make that much of a difference or is it all down to salary??

sorry I know it sounds rude and I don't mean to be, my reasons for asking are genuine

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Vajazzler · 06/02/2012 06:51

I have 5 dc's. We get £295 p/m child benefit (i think) I dont really want to go into how much TC's we get, the benefits thing gets out of hand on here, but its only the basic amount.
How do we afford it?
We budget everything. Shop wisely.Meal plan. Sell all our outgrown stuff on ebay. Buy secondhand for a lot of stuff. Accept every donation of outgrown clothes from friends.
TBH when we had no children i thought we couldnt afford one, but that was because all our money was spent on other stuff like socialising. Youjust cut back on unneccessary stuff bit by bit.

imip · 06/02/2012 13:19

There was a thread similar to this a couple of months or so ago. To be honest, the way we've afforded 4dds is to have had them when we are older, once our careers were established, we already had saved an ample housing deposit etc. If we had had our kids even 5 years earlier, we would have struggled. It means that now dh has a very good income, which allows me to be a sahm (so we don't have the childcare outgoings - for 4 children I would need to work pretty much full time to pay for childcare with not much left over). We planned to have children earlier, however infertility and the loss of our first daughter put paid to that. Not the way I would have chosen things, our first surviving dd1 came along when I was 35 and dd4 arrived two weeks ago at the ripe old age of 40. Dh is three years younger. If we had finished our family five years ago, it would have been a financial struggle.

TessTosterone · 06/02/2012 14:23

Sorry to change the subject but I thought you were expecting a boy this time imip? did they get it wrong at the scan?

I am pregnant with dc4. Not yet sure about how we will afford it will let you know!

Tooblunt2012 · 06/02/2012 14:31

We have 3 DC. My DH & I both work (although I'm currently on maternity leave) & don't get any kind of benefits or tax credits (other than child benefit). I wouldn't have considered having a 3rd if didn't think we could afford it but we do watch what we spend & have less luxuries than before - also plenty of hand-me-downs so actually haven't bought too much new stuff for the baby!

MrsMicawber · 06/02/2012 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lollystix · 06/02/2012 23:18

Hi imip - when did dc4 arrive? Congratulations

timetosmile · 06/02/2012 23:24

We have 3dc's, and we afford it by cutting our cloth to fit, so to speak.
Lots of secondhand clothes, hand-me-down toys, accepting that overseas holidays are a once or twice a decade occurence and buying a tent instead. Looking out for bargains at the supermarket....this is all sounding a bit miserable and folorn, but actually it's fine..DCs are great and tumble round in a gang, being good company for each other. DH and I are never bored but frequently exhausted

lollystix · 06/02/2012 23:34

So far we're affording 4 as I'm not proud and take every bag of clothing offered. Also bulk buy when on offer at supermarket and use eBay lots. It's the childcare costs that are a total killer. And the birthday party gifts but tk maxx is really good for that - I go every 3 months or so and bulk buy a load of gifts

imip · 07/02/2012 10:11

Thanks lolly. Yes, tess, no one could have been more embarrassed surprised than me when I took a look at dd4s bits! I told the whole surgical theatre about a boy, everyone on the playground (there goes my playground credibility!), everyone thought it was a boy also! My cons didn't tell me it was a boy but put the probe on my tummy (I saw two circles) asked if I knew the sex, I said no and he quickly took it off. I jumped to conclusions (though, seriously, there really was two circles and two femur bones ). dd4 is two weeks old, a bit hellish, in and out of hosp and i still feel rubbish, but she is safe and well...

Sorry op... echo what lolly said above. I brought a load of toys on amazon over christmas for presents when they did presents for half price. So wooden bead sets for girls for a fiver. Connect 4 for six quid. Problem is I go through them so quickly also.

Also, we don't have holidays, effort is too much. Went to Australia a year ago (we are Australian) and that'll do us for a bit. Don't go out for dinner or anything because we have no babysitting. No time to shop for luxuries and to knackered if we did have time!

lollystix · 07/02/2012 13:12

Echo the knackered bit. I stand in a shop and feel so bewildered now that I have to leave very quickly. I did the Tesco direct thing at Xmas with all the half price stuff and saved a packet.

Congrats Imip in dd4. You know I'm glad ds4 is another boy. I think all the same sex will make it easier as we can do boy things as a family together plus it's lovely for them and there won't be an odd one out iykwim.

Ps - I'm emigrating in 5 weeks - off to try my luck in NZ. I'm very excited but have Moments when I think I must be fecking mad. Can't wait for the plane journey

Agincourt · 07/02/2012 13:17

I had a very much unplanned third child, one which we couldn't actually afford , but we had him anyway as we were/are happily married grown ups and we had to take responsibility for our actions and he is the best thing that ever happened to us - even though we are broke! I cannot claim tax credits so cannot help you on that score, but some children are just meant to be here and my third born was one of those children (people) :)

HJisthinkingofanewname · 07/02/2012 13:19

I've got 3 and debating number 4. We manage because our mortgage is small (compared to value of the house). We have CB but not TC ( we are entitled but would rather not have the hassle as dh work fluctuates).
Dds arent that demanding stuff wise & we eat well because dh is a good cook!
Dc4 is a dilemma due to the financial pressure of mat leave as i will need a while if SPD returns(not 100% gone yet)

jeee · 07/02/2012 13:22

We have four... and manage because we live in a relatively cheap area, which means that we have a good sized house. In fact, our decision to have no.4 was largely based on the fact that we had an empty bedroom.

HJisthinkingofanewname · 07/02/2012 13:25

Oh not paying childcare is a major thing!

IamtheSnorkMaiden · 07/02/2012 18:07

I have four- mine came two at a time through IVF so money was already tight as we self funded treatment. We just budget hard and do as other posters have said- selling old stuff, accepting hand me downs etc. Posh hols and meals in nice restaurants are a thing of the past but we'll have them again one day.

Our kids are six and 20 months so don't want much... yet.

IamtheSnorkMaiden · 07/02/2012 18:09

Forgot to say- I get CB but won't soon. I get no tax credits at all- they stopped last April unfortunately. I work part time and it barely covers childcare costs for the younger two. It is hard but we get by.

recall · 07/02/2012 18:14

I work my tits off all weekend when DH is off, so he looks after them - no childcare.

Before you buy a bigger car for your growing family, it is worth looking at a personal lease. I don't do this yet, but I am thinking about it.

We rent our house out, and then rent a larger house, so we get more house and garden for our money.

Thinkingof4 · 07/02/2012 21:41

Wow lollystix that's exciting? Where in NZ are you going? I spent a couple of months travelling there when I was a student many years ago and I loved it. You'll have an amazing new life there I'm sure

lollystix · 07/02/2012 22:49

Heading out to Auckland. Been clearing out more junk tonight - no chance of that when the kids are up. Now all I seem to own really is kids wellies. All I really want at this stage in my life is the ability to hang washing out to dry and a laundry room. I spend my life tripping over piles of clothes loitering under radiators. I figure we may get a bigger washing machine and a washing line in NZ.

TessTosterone · 08/02/2012 12:21

Congratulations imip! and good look to you lollystix, how exciting.

Thinkingof4 · 08/02/2012 13:40

Auckland is lovely, wow you are in for such an adventure. I'm kind of jealous tbh!!

kilmuir · 08/02/2012 13:44

we don't get any tax credit, husband has a good job. We debated me going back to work but childcare too much for 4!.

imip · 08/02/2012 14:25

Thanks tess. Wow lolly fantastic! Good luck! Hanging out laundry is soooo lovely - smells beautiful - to think I took it for granted for so many years! How is the nz$ exchange rate? Australia is sooo expensive that we can hardly afford to move back. The irony is that we have a very nice lifestyle here, but I doubt we would have the same in Australia were we to move home now. The UK is really a much much more affordable place to bring up a family, believe it or not! Of course, in Australia we would have family to babysit/help us out....

Sorry for the hijack, op....

lollystix · 08/02/2012 16:52

Exchange rate woeful -27 year low I've just heard today. Leaving our cash here from house sale and renting out there for a while but in the round I think it will be about the sane as the UK. 4 bed house about same price in Auckland to here and you get more house plus garden for it. Food more expensive but childcare cheaper etc. We'll give it a shot and see how we go - a wee adventure.

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