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Planning on having a big family, your experiences?

22 replies

Dozeyland · 19/01/2012 21:11

DP & I would eventually love a big family, he is from one of them. and we're so happy and have an amazing DD aged 15months, and i'm 22weeks with #2...

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saturdayescape · 20/01/2012 22:50

bump

Dozeyland · 24/01/2012 20:35

...............

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RandomMess · 24/01/2012 20:37

Well I love having 4 children however with the state of the economy now I'm not sure I would make the same decisions. 19 days of very cheap childcare in the summer hols was £1k last year... that is a subsidised playscheme through our employers.

mum6mum · 25/01/2012 14:35

its GREAT ! :)
we have 6!
family days out or so much fun , and they never get bored in the school hols !
the key is a good routine!!

Juule · 25/01/2012 17:58

Take it one at a time (unless twins or more of course) and then see how you feel about the next one.

MerryHippo · 25/01/2012 18:01

I thought I wanted loads of kids, but am stopping at two Grin

It gets incredibly expensive once they are no longer babies and there are parties and after extra curricular activities and uniforms and never-ending bloody shoes.

I do admire those with large families, though.

Dozeyland · 25/01/2012 19:55

Mum6mum :) Thats fab to hear.

We've both wanted a big family, definitely take one at a time, enjoy them.

I have a lot of admiration for large families too, I mean i'm one of 3, DP is one of 6, and his Dad is one of 12.

Hard work obviously is involved, but I think having that much love around you must be lovely :)

I guess its what you make it?

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4madboys · 25/01/2012 20:03

ihave 5, planned on 4 and then no 5 was our bonus baby, a girl after our four boys. it is great, busy and hard work at times but good fun, you need to be organised!

Dozeyland · 25/01/2012 20:13

What are all of your organised tips?!

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4madboys · 25/01/2012 20:31

well i make sure i get everything i can ready the day before, so school lunches, anything the little two might need, ie snacks etc, nappy change bag. uniforms/clothes laid out, pe kits, swim kits, whatever is needed for school for the big ones.

try and plan meals in advance, and use the slow cooker when i can. make sure when they get up they make their bed and put their pjs ready for the next night.

a routine is good, but you do need to be flexible as well.

i try and clean/tidy as i go along, i have to do a load of laundry a day, often two and keep on top of it or else its a nightmare to catch up.

the children are all involved in helping to tidy etc, ie tidyign away toys, making beds, laying and clearing hte table, washing up. basically i get them involved in everything from a young age, even the little ones can help load the washing machine etc. there is a lot of mess created having a big familiy, but in my house we all make the mess so we all help tidy it up!

oh and relax as well, we have lazy days where we all stay in our pj's, you learn to pick your battles, i e i dont get involved in all the bickering and squabbling, they are generally pretty good but they do have to learn to sort arguments out for themselves so sometimes i will just spy/listen when they are figthing and see if they are going to resolve it! obviously physical violence is a total NO, not allowed but squabbling etc i can overlook.

it is good fun and they play together brilliantly and the older ones are great with the little two (3yrs and 13mths) the others are 7, 9 and 12.

my family is complete now, but if we wont the lottery and could have a big house and a cleaner! i would have more :)

Thinkingof4 · 25/01/2012 21:58

That's a lovely post 4madboys!
I'm beginning to realise that the organisation will only get more tricky as they all get older! Getting them to help is definitely the way forward. We have recently started doing a 10 minute tidy at bedtime and my 5 and 2 year olds are actually pretty good at tidying up- long may it continue

chaos4kids · 25/01/2012 22:27

Hiya, I have 4 - a bit like 4madboys, we were planning to stop at 3 - all boys, then a surprise baby girl came along.... and its chaos - but we love it.

Sometimes over the dinner table, DH and I just look around at them all and end up laughing in disbelief.

Agree that it can be bloody hard work and we are shattered most evenings. Also with big age gaps (1yr, 2yrs, 9yrs and 13yrs), it can be tricky finding things to do that suit all ages. But I wouldn't swop any of it for the world. Have definitely become more relaxed with each child - which means you enjoy it more and more. And my older boys really do help with the little ones - they adore them. Its lovely watching the bonds that they have.

mum6mum · 26/01/2012 07:52

4madboys your house sounds just like mine ! :)
washing is a nightmare , let it slip for the day and it takes weeks to catch up .
i good bed routine defo is a bonus , all mine have selpt right through from 4/6 weeks old .
we have DS 11 DD 9 DS 7 DS5 DD3 DD 18 MONTHS .
good luck with all your families .

4madboys · 26/01/2012 08:35

mum6mum yours are similar ages to mine then :) and yes good bedtime routine is KRY, have to say ours havent slept through the night from a young age, but we co-sleep till they are 2-3yrs and then they have all gone in their own rooms fine, they all go to bed 7:30-8:30 depending on age tho, i need my evenings!

mum6mum · 26/01/2012 08:59

same here 4madboys , if you can get your evening free with the kiddies in bed , it gives you and your DH's time together too .
where trying for our 7th ( not much luck yet )

:)

Lollyheart · 26/01/2012 09:11

Aww it's nice to here from other big families.
I have 4, dd 7, ds5, ds3 and ds 17 weeks, also two step children age 14 and 12, I love having a big family, never a dull moment, like the others have said routine is the way to go, I get all of their school stuff and lunches ready the night before.
I would love more but finances are comfortable so don't want to stretch them.

themagicno4 · 26/01/2012 21:43

Hi, we love it, have dd7, dd5, ds20 m, dd4m.
Would even love more, but for various reasons far to boring and practical we are stopping now.
All of ours get on fantastically, there is lots of planning involved but it's all workable. I really think it helps the older ones, they are so kind and helpful and love playing with the littlies ( as we call them).
The other thing that's great which I never expected is that people love hanging out with the kids or families with us.
It a busy house ( and somewhat messy, mainly craft things, felt tips pens drive me to distraction) but other people with two find it quite exciting.

Also we find teenage babysitters love to spend even more time with us, they are so gooey over babies and toddlers!

Downside is stuff like the constant slep to school, having to wake other children to do it. Illness always a nightmare and washing, plus paying out constantly, but all of this is a problem to anyone even with two.

Go for it.

itsonlyyearfour · 26/01/2012 23:37

I have 4 and I am nowhere near as organised as the others, and the children really don't help much around the house at all. After reading this thread, I will work on it!

Ours are all very close in age and it is hard at times, although it has its upsides which is they have mostly similar interests! They are very close although they do squabble quite a lot.

I would say that it is definitely not for the faint hearted especially if like me, you are always striving for perfection!

mum6mum · 27/01/2012 09:09

themagicno4, iv to found that every body else's kids love "hanging " out at our house , so theres more like 10 kids at ours than 6 , but its great , love to hear my children , and totally hate silence now .

big families are defo not for the faint hearted , but if you can and want to its so rewarding , i carnt wait to be a granny ( if each have 2 that gives me at least 12 grandkids :) ) and even better (god willing ) great grandkidddies :)

most little girls say "i want 2 or 3", my magic number was allways 7 , my grandma used to say " wait till you'v had one , you'll soon change your mind " iv defo proved her wrong :) ( love you grandma )
my DH knew from the frist date i wanted 7 ( more fool him, lol )
i wouldnt change a thing !

blameitonthecaffeine · 27/01/2012 20:59

I have 5 daughters (I promise we weren't trying to get a boy!!) aged 13, 11, 8, 5 and 2.

I adore having a big family, it was something I wanted from a very young age.

But, and I think it's a big but - I am lucky enough to have a husband on a high salary that allows me to work only 2.5 days a week and live in a large enough house for all the girls to have their own space. If I had to work full time or be cramped into a 3 bedroom house I'm not sure it would be so much fun! I'm also a bit of an organisation freak which helps!

Most of the time I think the girls enjoy being part of a large family. They all get on well (most of the time anyway).

harrygracejessica · 29/01/2012 10:57

I have 5. It's blooming hard work but the eldest is 4!!

I have a boy who's 4, twin girls who are 3 and twin boys who are 9 months. We had stopped at 3 but the twin boys were an unplanned surprise!

Organisation is the key, get things ready the night before - saves looking for that lost shoe in the morning!!! I do the school run with all 5 on my own as OH works shifts so sometimes he's here in the morning, other weeks the afternoon and other weeks he's on nights. The youngest boys don't sleep well at all but the eldest 3 are great and are in bed for 7pm and sleep a minimum of 12 hours.

Defo get the kids involved tidying, it won't hurt them and makes them realise it's not the cleaning fairies who do it all!

Dozeyland · 29/01/2012 15:11

WOAH Harrygracejessica! :) that sounds fab, two sets of twins. thats amazing

Having one child is a blessing, we most definitely will be having a big family. whatever number that is, we dont know... but we think it'll be lovely :)

DD is 15months, i'm teaching her to tidy at the mo, and she actually loves it. DC is due in May, So I want to keep DD involved, interested as she is so interested in learning already. very helpful & loving. I do keep a good routine with her, and its paid off, just hope having the new baby doesnt throw it all out of whack too much... I'm speaking as "I" as DP is away until the day before baby's EDD x

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