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Original poster

What's the latest age you would consider having your "last"

43 replies

Oeufman · 10/01/2012 19:17

Hi, I am a mum os 4DC, and I love it :)

My baby is going to be starting school in September and it will be the first time in 15.5 years I have no one at home, I feel very sad at the thought of this :(

We have a lovely vibrant loving home with a loving DH who though self employed, he is a very devoted and thoughtful Dad. I am 38 and would love in a few years (age 41/42) to have my full stop... To enjoy, love and relax in the first few years.I am a SAHM but run our business from the kitchen.

I was chatting to my GP today, and she mentioned that if I wanted another I would need to think about it soon. So MNers, would I be irresponsible/naive to think I could have a lovely DC in my early 40s? I am also worried I may never know when to stop as I love having children so much.....

OP posts:

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stephrick · 10/01/2012 19:33

i'm 44 clock well and truly gone I think, I don't have a relationship of any sorts so it's a no brainer for me, but I'd love another child, my eldest is 18, daughter 16, and youngest 14, my children were close together, so it wore me out, but as an older wannabe new mum, more patience and calm. please go for it.

TooManyButtons · 10/01/2012 19:36

Well I've been umming and aahing about having a second - dd is nearly 14 - I feel too old at 34. Maybe there's hope yet!

cece · 10/01/2012 19:37

I had my last one when I was 42.
I knew I was done then, as I was soooo tired all the time. Much worse than in my 30s.

liveinazoo · 10/01/2012 19:42

im 40 this year and my youngest of 4 starts big school in september.eldest is 17 now....part me would love another but arent the risks higher to you and baby as we get older?
im looking forward to holding grandchildren now and accept im too old for another

imip · 11/01/2012 21:03

39 was my cutoff age. Just seemed to be an easy line in the sand to draw. But then I wanted dc4, so at the age of 40 (and almost 7 months!), I am about to have dc4 in two week's time. Was not they way I planned it, but after infertility and the stillbirth of our first daughter, I had four more pregnancies and I've been either pregnant or breastfeeding for a total of 6.5 years. My body is telling me to stop, so is my mind, but I would still like another! But I am being sterilised during the c-section as I just don't think I can do another pregnancy, and for me, all the risks it brings. There was a thread here a little bit ago about what age fertility really declines, but I guess in larger families you'll hear the good stories of Mums in their 40's, go to conception and it may be a little different. Ikind of agree with your gp, sooner rather than later...just in case....

GladysLeap · 12/01/2012 18:34

Had my last just before I was 44. Before then I always wanted more but I now couldn't bear the thought of going through it again. We are done.

claireinmodena · 12/01/2012 18:47

My cut off used to be 35, then I was ill and had to wait a few years. A few months after turning 39 I told I felt it had to be now or never! I am now expecting twins in a few weeks at 40+ 4 months. I have to add this has been the most uncomfortable pregnancy if all 3 but most likely more due to twins than age. I did have an amnio though which I found very stressful and I honestly do not know what I would have done had they picked up stg...

Just be aware that chances of a multiple pregnancy increase dramatically with age

nailak · 12/01/2012 18:53

i have 3 dcs under 5, and i am in my late 20s, ds is 18 mnths and since he was 9 mnths i have been missing pregnancy/new born!! lol

but my plan is to wait around 10 years (if i can bear it) and then have another 2! But I do know plans change and a lot can happen in that time.

I would say go for it!

Nineflowers · 20/01/2012 14:31

I had 3 kids between the age of 29-34. Then another partner and 2 more kids, when I was aged 40 and 42.

I will level with you.

I found motherhood in my 40s - nightmarish. I was comparatively fit, too. But the sleepless nights etc which I just about coped with in my mid 30s - by the time I was 42, could really have done without it.

Those 3 years til youngest went to nursery - even then only part-time - seemed interminable.

Now my youngest son is 9 and the absolute light of my life, but seriously - if I'd known how hard it was going to be (and he was a comparatively 'easy' baby) - I'd never have contemplated kids in my 40s.

That's the reality.

Ah and being the grey haired one (well I dye it blonde but still...) at the primary school gates is NOT fun. When I go to parents' evenings at my older sons' college, I don't feel out of place - in fact am younger than some of the parents. But at my primary aged kids' school? There's parents 20 years younger or more. It's a horrible feeling.

Original poster

Oeufman · 23/01/2012 01:38

Thank you ladies - especially for your honesty nineflowers.

I am going to hold off leaping at the DH until September - see how I feel when the baby goes to school. She is so very excited at the thought and is always naturally wanting to do the same as her 3 siblings. Even the thought of having a pregnancy with no little ones at home is nice - feet up (a bit) and cuppa.

Am concerned as had a prolapsed cord with last (was so very lucky and blessed the midwife picked upon it very quickly and after a general and CS she was born alive). I almost feel I have really pushed my luck.... 4 healthy beautiful kids...

OP posts:

blameitonthecaffeine · 27/01/2012 21:02

I'm 39 and my youngest is 2. I already have 5 so I think I'm done. Part of me would love a 6th then each child has a pair iyswim. Don't think DH will go for it though. If I do have another one I think it would have to be next year, I wouldn't want to go over 40 really.

itsonlyyearfour · 02/02/2012 21:39

My cut off ideally would have been 35 but I had my fourth child when I was 37. Now I am nearly 40 and I am so glad I can look forward to no more pregnancies, pushchairs, nappies, etc but life moving on.

I would say 40 is probably a good cut off age...

PacificDogwood · 04/02/2012 15:30

I had DS4 aged 44 - mind, I only started with my first at 37 .

It was all fine, pregnancies and deliveries and having been virtually middle-aged for the first and having them relatively close today ment that I never had the 'shock' of having to return to sleep-less nights, nappies, pushchairs etc - I had simply never really left that stage.

I am not Done. With capital D. DS4 will be 2 soon and has only recently learnt to sleep through (most) nights. I am not exactly wishing my children's lives away, but I am relishing every bit of increased independence and ability.

FWIW, if my life had panned out as thought it would when I was daydreaming at 18 I would have liked to have my first before 30 and my last @ 35, not so much for when they are little, but to still be young(ish) when they are older and for when there might be grandchildren.

Charlotteperkins · 06/02/2012 14:27

I'll do it in my 40s if I can afford a ft nanny, maternity nurse, mother's help, au pair, the lot. I'm NEVER doing the shit work again.

Ragwort · 06/02/2012 14:30

I had my first (and last ) at 43 - there is no physical reason why you shouldn't have a child in your 40s - but its entirely up to you and your DH if you really want another.

tizwas · 07/02/2012 10:52

I have 3 DC - last one at 34. I'm 38 now and very broody - I may consider it in the next 6 months...

toodles · 07/02/2012 11:02

I have 4 dc's, oldest 13 and youngest 10 months and I'm 41. I always said I wanted 4 but now I've had my 4th, I'm feeling very sad that she will be my last. It's constantly on my mind to have another baby but I'm very aware of the risks. I also said that my cut off point was 40, so I got pregnant at 40. I did have a harder pregnancy the last time, I felt exhausted throughout the pregnancy and while pushing her out I screamed 'Never again'. If you do want another, I would get on with it if I were you - don't leave it for too long. I think there is a big difference having your fist in your 40's and having your 3rd or 4th etc.. You've got other children to run around after and for me it was very tiring to be pregnant at 40 with 3 children. Heard the same story from others in the same position too.

Janus · 11/02/2012 16:27

I have 4, my last was born when I was 40, just!! He has been such an easy baby and part of me would like to carry on and have just one more but now I know I can't risk the chance of something being wrong. The odds do, obviously, go up once you are of a certain age and, for me, once in my 40s I feel like it is just pushing my luck to try and have one more. It has been a very hard decision and we still both wobble sometimes but husband is booked for the snip soon!!

MUM2BLESS · 11/02/2012 21:26

I had my last at 39. I have 4.

Each person needs to know what they can cope with physically.

harrygracejessica · 13/02/2012 05:18

I had my last at 30 - 8 days before I was 31 and said I wasn't having any after I was 30 :-) considering I have 5 and only had the 1st when I was 26 I am completely done but feel sad that it is no more.

deemented · 13/02/2012 05:39

I'm due to have my 5th tomorrow, aged 34. I am done. More than.

worley · 13/02/2012 05:40

I gave my self a cut off of 36 (im 34 and already have ds1, 13 and ds2, 5) Ive been single for three years now, so when I set that limit I thought that would give me time to meet some one new and if they wanted a dc that would be my max age I would consider having more children by. but I've not met anyone and now I'm getting nearer to that age I dont think I could go back to babies and toddlers again!! I'm liking my freedom now!!

esselle · 13/02/2012 06:30

I am 38 and expecting DC4. This pregnancy, although problem free, has been bloody hard work. I still have 6 weeks to go and I am absolutely knackered!!

Having 3 other DC to look after aged 7,4,2 is tiring at the best of times. This will definitely be the last. I also feel like I have 3 (almost 4) beautiful, happy and healthy DCs I really don't want to push my luck!

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 28/02/2012 04:57

35 is my personal cut-off age - I'll just get my last one (DC3) in under the wire :)

Blx2thelotofem · 28/02/2012 04:59

I am currently pregnant at 47.

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