concidering a fourth

[hugeleyoutnumbered]

we are a happy healthy couple with three beautiful dc, and we have been chatting about having a fourth, we are financially stable.
Is it more difficult with four as opposed to three?

lollystix that is really interesting thanks. I just assumed that pregnancies would get harder but your story is very positive! I want one like yours next please! How weird all your colleagues knew before you!! Was your 4th birth quicker than the others? ds1 was 16 hours, ds2 was 2.5 hours and ds3 - 1 hour!! Think I need a homebirth next if births do get quicker!

I also have this fear of having a miscarriage... I feel I have been so lucky so far that it must be my 'turn' if that makes any sense. So many friends have had several inbetween dc's 1-2 that I feel I am tempting fate to expect to be lucky again. Is that crazy or did/does anyone else have that fear?

Lulu - with ds4 no miscarriage fear as didn't know obviously which is a real bonus - with ds3 I was convinced it was my turn for something to go wrong and had implantation bleeding at 7 weeks which I'd never had before. I've always felt the first 12 weeks consumed with fear.

Birth for ds4 completely identical to ds3. Waterbirth, one week prelabour and then 4 hours proper labour in hospital. However ds3 on DD and ds4 was 38+3.

lollystix - it must have been so amazing almost bypassing the first trimester worries! I would love that so much!! I had bleeding in the first 12 weeks with ds2 & 3 (lots with ds2) so am always soooo scared too.

Interesting about your births. I wouldn't mind an identical one to ds3's apart from the fact that I would like to be given a room earlier next time. ds3 was very nearly born in the reception of the hospital because they left me waiting, not believing me that he was coming!

Lulu
My ds3's birth sounds similar to yours- he was very nearly born in assessment area of antenatal ward as they thought I'd be a while. Thank goodness for my TENS machine as that was all I had till the last 15min or so!! A similar birth would be fine!!

Only 4 months pregnant with DS3 but already reading threads about a potential 4th? I am crazy?.

tostaky lovely to see another one with 3 boys considering a 4th! Good luck with your pregnancy. My ds3 has always been such a chilled out boy. He slotted straight into our family. My worst sleeper but so cheery the rest of the time I forgave him! Finally cracked sleep at 11 months and he is brilliant now.

thinkingof4 My 3rd birth was so similar! One puff of G&A as he came out and that was it. So quick my dh was still holding my bag as ds3 came out! Think everyone was shocked! Definitely want another one like that! Have you made a decision about number 4 yet?

not really....swaying from one decision to the other, so will probably wait a month or 2 and see if anything becomes clearer. Its a heart over head type decision, but DH is more of a head over heart type!!

Hi, I have 3ds under 8...... we were sitting on the fence about number 4 but our little surprise made up our minds for us. However, the surprise then turned to shock when we found out its twins - 4 & 5 due at start of June!!! Think I may need a straight jacket lol.....

Dh has agreed if I find a permanent job earning Xk then we can go for it! Now that he's in full agreement I'll probably change my mind!

Lilyni wow! Any history of twins? Do you mind me asking how old you are? They say incidence of twins increases with age.

Starryeyed - you're scaring me with your organisation as a requirement - am currently 25wks with DC4, which was by far the biggest decision DH and I have made, gave serious thought to stopping after DC3 although 4 was the original plan. They are 5 (next week), 3 and 18months and its pretty hard going sometimes as DC2 still isn't the best sleeper, 100times better than she used to be though (fingers crossed for this one!) But watching the way they're starting to play together is so lovely.... [mushy]

I also have 3 boys and am pregnant with dc4. Not planned though! I will let you know in may if it's a good idea or not!

Snap Yorky - I'm 13 weeks in with ds4 with same gaps. Ds2 also bad sleeper.

to lollystix - we don't remember her sleeping well enough to give us time to make DC3, but the evidence to the contrary...

We have 4. 3 girls and then a boy, they are just 10, 8.5, almost 6 and just 4. Our girls are not very girly girls, they love to run and shout and wrestle and I'll oven come into the room to find a pile of girls with a small boy perched on top, yelling his head off.
Four is harder than three, and I'd take a good hard look at a/ how helpful your OH is with the kids you do have
and b/ do you have any relatives living close by who will help out a little and give you a break now and again.
We don't and it's a bit of a killer that we haven't had a night away, just the two of us since DD1 was born.
It's getting easier in some ways now we have no nappies, they can all dress themselves and help around the house but they all want to do stuff and we spend over £100 a week on activities! That's before feeding them and clothing them. We already had a 7 seater car but holidays cost an arm and a leg because we almost always have to book two hotel rooms ( and then I sleep in one with 2 of them, and DH sleeps with the other two-not very romantic!)
We have a 4 bedroom house and struggle a little as the girls all want their own rooms and resent sharing. We need to sort out a loft conversion at some point.
The thing I struggle with most is giving them all a bit of 121 time, that's what they want most of all as they get older and it's the hardest thing to try and engineer it as someone always NEEDS me. And making sure I get enough time for me so I'm able to cope with the endless monotony of it all!
I'm not sure this will help at all but I thought I'd say my piece!

I have 3 dc 8, 5 and 2 years.
Me and dh would love to try for a fourth.
We already have a people carrier so that isn't a problem.
We do only have a 3 bed house though so I'm unsure if it'd be selfish to have another? We did sell our house last year and were in the process of buying a 4/5 bed, unfortunately it all fell and we took our house off of the market. I'm not keen on selling in this market but by the time we actually conceive and baby arrives it could be a year or more, then baby would be in with us for at least 6 months anyway.
Not sure?!
My 2 ds share and dd has her own room. The boys love sharing and still wanted to share when we were moving to the bigger house!
Has anybody had 4dc in a 3 bed house?

thinkingof4 - My Granny was a twin but I never thought for a minute I would have twins. Im 35 so youre prob right about the age thing!

Dillydollydaydream I don't think it's selfish to have 4 kids in a 3 bedroom house especially if you intend to move later. When they are little, then it's fine to share, it's only as it gets older that it's trickier. Also because we have 2 sharing and 2 not sharing, the two sharers know there is an option IYSWIM.

Dilly - we will have 4DC in a 3bed house, #4 due in May so will be in with us till just before Christmas anyway, but currently 3DC (19months, 3, 5) all share 1 double room, (it is purely for sleeping and storing their clothes in, all toys are downstairs) we have the other and the single room is used as a study for DH doing a masters. We are planning to extend the kitchen and put another double bedroom over - fingers crossed bump is pink giving us 2 of each, accomodating 3+ 1 would be a headache! So yes, it is do-able, but I wouldn't want it to last until they were much older. And I'm not kidding myself that keeping them from 'helping' the builders when we do the extension will be easy!

Thanks for your post 5hrs, it feels more realistic than the ones who say its just nice cos they entertain each other. I am lucky having a very supportive and involved DH, and (sort of) lucky with MIL less than an hour away. I know what you mean about how hard it is to find individul time for them

Feel a bit more positive house wise after hearing your opinions.
We're not planning on staying here in the long term anyway. I'm sure people will think we're mad! I have friends with just the one dc and they ask how I cope with three, but I don't find it too bad, mind you info have 3 years between my 3 so maybe that's why! :)

Yorky, on a good day they do entertain each other.
They play fantastically complicated games of school, hospital, going on holiday and dress up, crowd onto the sofa to watch a film together or play on the wii for ages, making such a racket. They can be gorgeous with each other, really helpful and caring.
But it can change in a second and the next thing they will be yelling at each other or trying to beat the crap out of each other with the nearest toy. And when two or more need you but are at loggerheads with each other, then it's awful. And when they all gang up on you for something, it's really hard to say no...

Thanks Dilly, its nice to know they aren't at each others throats costantly - it just feels like it some days!
At the moment my feelings are that 4, even with 1 hopefully BF, can't be any harder than 3+SPD, having a sorry for myself day, looking forward to Easter

Sorry 5hrs sleep, that was to you not Dilly