3DC under 5, feeling overwhelmed, any tips/advice ???

[recall]

Its just killing me ! With Christmas coming too its awful. Have a mountain of stuff to do, but feel trapped looking after the 1 and 2 year olds, 4 year old at school. Just a nightmare of school/pre school runs - help...

Sorry you feel like this. Can your DH help out at all? Take them out one day this weekend so you can rest/get bits done that you need to? Could you ask any family sit for an hour or two?

I also have 3 DC (7, 4 & 1) and although it gets easier I still get those oh my goodness it's a bit too much days - especially at Christmas!

students will be breaking up soon and might be an extra pair of hands/babysitter?

I feel your pain with this one, I have a 8,4,3 and 7 month old. I do 3 school runs a day and one day I have to do 4 due to after school clubs. I am on my own all week with them and Partner only around at the weekend. My house is a mess, clean but messy I just prioritise and do the most important things that have to be done and if I get anything extra done its a bonus. I also cook double so I can freeze one meal so on a day where I haven't even got time to do dinner I can pull a magic meal out of the freezer I also do one pot meals in the slow cooker.

I also use an alarm clock do the kids know when to help put the toys away and when to go to bed!

It does feel like the world is coming in on me but when that happens I just take all the kids to my mums and stay there for the evening and tackle life the next day!

My motto is if the kids are clean, happy and healthy to hell with the rest of it!

In a way I am looking forward to the holidays as then I don't have to get up and ready for the school run!I have 5dc aged 5,5,4,4, and 15 months.I am dreading the headaches as it gets quite noisy in my house but get so stressed with the school run I'll be glad not to do it!No advice though,just accept your house will be probably be trashed and try to get them out as much as possible!

Thanks for the replies, I really feel like I've lost myself I am a machine now that keeps everyone going. I have no life of my own. My DH is really helpful, but what pisses me off is that he is able to dip in and do the bits he wants can, I have to do everything else. I feel like I can't whinge about it to anyone because it was my choice to have 3 kids. I am really just fire fighting now, I used to enjoy the challenge but not now

Sounds like you need a holiday recall. How much time will your DH take off over the hols? Can you make sure you get some time to yourself? Maybe not a whole day at a time, but a couple of hours a couple of times.

Or if people ask you what you would like for Christmas, say 'I'd like you to look after the kids so I can do...'. I've made vouchers for a couple of friends to exchange for me to look after their kids while they sit and read a novel in a coffee shop. They're very specific! But I suppose I'd still do it if they wanted to read Grazia...

Remember your kids are still little, and that this will pass. For the time being, see what you can cut (ironing, for example, should not take place). I think everyone feels a bit like this some times.

Hope you start to feel a bit of light soon.

Oh recall - I feel your pain - I'm having one of those days too. 4xds (5,3,20m and 8 weeks). So, so tired and dh off on Xmas night and coming back tomorrow night- I only found that one our this am. I too feel like I have totally lost my identity - all I do is cook, tidy, do drop offs and pick ups and deal with tantrums. I was thinking only today I don't even know what I like anymore - I'm so tired and feel like I don't know myself anymore. I'm just clinging on - 'this too shall pass' as they say rings in my head.

I have no advice recall but I definately share the pain! We have 4 kids (5, 4, 1.5 and 4 months) and the house literally looks like a bomb site currently!

I have no idea how I am going to get all the presents wrapped, house in some sort of state that it looks ok - we are having the grandparents for xmas dinner, so need to have some sort of order in the chaos!

I am also thinking that maybe once the kids have finished school next week it may be a little more chilled out - I find the school run and getting them all out of the door so stressful!

lollystix I also keep telling myself that things won't be this hectic once the kids all get a little bigger....

twinkle - I like your idea of the alarm clock - getting my kids to tidy up seems to be mission impossible, may steal that idea!

I know what you all mean about feeling that you have 'lost yourself'. We have 4 kids (13,10,3,1) and I always feel as though I'm constantly running around after everyone else (including DH!!).

It does get easier the older they get and although we have 2 little ones, the older 2 are much easier now and can be quite helpful (when they are in the mood to be )

I use a good tip I learnt on here from another post to set a timer for 20 mins (when the house starts to look as though a bomb has hit it) and get everyone to have a mad tidy up. Amazing what you can achieve in that time (and with the bribe incentive of a treat at the end!!)

I also have a small plastic box for each DC that I put random toys/clothes/i-Pods/mobiles in when I find them dumped around the house. Then at the end of the day, give them to the older kids to put away in their rooms.

My brother and his family live abroad and arriving early next week until the new year so will be more chaotic than usual!!

That said, I will wake up on christmas morning (or be woken up at some ungodly hour probably!!) and be so thankful for my choatic, noisy family

Thanks everyone, some great advice and empathy. I feel better today because I spent the day in the pub It was the oldest's nativity play which was held in the church at 11:00, so I dropped her off at school and waited with some other parents in the village pub. When the play had finished, we went back to the pub with the two youngest and they fell asleep for a couple of hours. It was heaven. Just sat chatting and laughing all day until school pick up. It was really naughty in so many ways, but gave me such a boost. When they woke up, some of the Mums (non driving ones) were getting a bit merry, and cuddled and entertained them for me while I sat back on a sofa next to the fire - heaven, I even managed to read a paper

Good to hear your feeling more positive
I'm currently pregnant with dc4 and on the odd day I feel te same as you. Mostly I stick some music on in the kitchen and get them all to dance with me
I want to be like twinklebum she sounds like she's got it sussed- and once bubba is born ill have very similar age gaps.

Oh! This also sound like me - I have a 3 dc who are 5,2 and 9 weeks and feel that I spend most of my life standing cooking infront of the oven, picking stuff off the floor, etc. The house goes through the trashed/bit tidy cycle about 20 times a day. I don't do any ironing tho - when on earth would I have the time? The 9 week old is off the scale with his weight gain but spends most of the day on the boob.

I used to have a fab interesting job and actually was a bit intelligent. I even looked ok. Now I can't have an interesting conversation as I don't know what's going on in the outside world to have an opinion. I can't grasp simple concepts anymore and I've turned into a tired middle aged woman who permenantly has her baps out.

I do love it - my children are great and make me laugh. When does it get a bit easier though?

Well I will only be in the 3 under 5 club for another few weeks as my oldest is nearly 5. The last 6 months since ds3 was born have been tiring, frustrating and seemingly never-ending but I do feel things have got easier esp now that baby is on solids and not feeding so much during the day. Things that have helped include encouraging oldest to be more independent, chilling out even more about mess, and having some sort of structure to the day. In fact in term time there is only one morning that I don't go to some group or another, and that's the day I go shopping. So, for me being out of the house away housework has been my sanity saver.

Admittedly the house is a tip though....

Have just edged out of the 3 under five club - into the 3 under 6 club - and am sending support for all those asking "when does it end ??"

Things get better sooooo quickly - markers are:

Youngest finally sleeps through the night.

You realise you can bin the double buggy and go back to a single as two of them can make it to the shops and back.

You timetable middle childs free nursery hours with all of older childs reception year activities that involve mum, and only have babe to take along.

Youngest eats pretty normal food and edges off of milk.

Oldest child learn to do up own strapes on car seat.

Middle child is nappy and accident free.

One summer holiday you realise "its only six more weeks and middle child will be starting school"

Youngest child potty trains.

First day dropping two child at school - burst into tears on the way home as just you and baby feals so very quiet.

I had DD 8 1/2yrs, DD 4yrs, DD 2 1/2yrs, DS 13 mths and DS newborn. It was hell!
Seven years on the hormones swirling round in our house are horrendous but it is better than it was.
They are not so dependent on us and can sort themselves out most of the time.
The biggest thing is that they are all now at school!

It does get easier! I have 3 little ones and some days feel that I have no personality of my own left. I used to have hobbies, a job, my own money and a slim waist! Now I have none of those things but I do have 3 beautiful children. The hard work is worth it in the end. Try to appreciate very small blessings. I feel lucky if I get to read the newspaper once a week on a Saturday. The highlight of my day is having 20 minutes to read a book before I go to sleep at night! I previously suffer severe PND and found life a genuine struggle every day. Now I feel lucky to have good days and try hard to enjoy my children and appreciate them. Ask for help if you need it and don't be afraid to tell people if you are not coping very well. Good luck.

I had 3 under 3, now 3 under 4 and have been feeling like this for so long. I really don't want my baby to grow up at all if he is our last but at the same time I'm desperate to pack ds1 off to school (midday nursery runs interfere with baby's lunchtime nap), desperate for ds2 to be properly potty trained and desperate for baby to stop waking up at 5am so we can move him out our room (i'm not traipsing up and down stairs from 5am every morning!)

I've started excercising 3 times a week which is really helping and am planning regular massage/nails/treatment of some sort because i just can't relax at home at all.
I really feel like I just can't leave all 3 of them with anyone other than dh for longer than an hour at the most because it is such mayhem! i feel more guilty leaving them with dh or asking him to do anything because he works such long hours and doesn't get any time to himself to excercise or anything like i do.

It's the toughest time. I look back now and wonder how on earth I did it. 3 kids in 5 years, running a demanding business full-time and 2 house moves. But we do - we cope. Keep cool and go easy on yourself, don't worry yourself about forgetting an important birthday or getting to Christmas dinner and realising you didn't get any crackers!! It does get easier and in a few years you will look back and laugh at the crazy times. Forget the show home and perfectly clean, stylishly dressed kids and just concentrate on trying to enjoy them. It's so lovely to have them so close - and don't forget, a family that plays together, stays together.

Thanks for the post conorsrockers! Your advice rocks :-)

Just to reiterate what others have said I had four boys under 5 for nine months and it was hard work. But with the youngest now 2 1/2 life is just a million times easier. Things can and do get better and when we are all out together we all have a lot of fun.

My only tips for staying sane are get as much help as you can afford/ draw upon and don't worry about everything being perfect. There are other parents out there with big families so hook up with them for days out/ visits etc. Mutual support is very important.