Mum of 4 with baby No5 on the way...ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE xxx

[MumsTheWord85]

Hi all,
I'm new to this site so firstly let me introduce myself :) I'm Cheryl (prefer to be called Chez though), I'm 26yrs old married to my amazing husband Alan and together we have 4 beautiful children Finlay (6), Jayden (5), Chloe (almost 4), and Millie (2). We have just found out I'm expecting baby No5 due 23rd July 2012 (based on my LMP) whilst I'm over the moon to be expecting again I'm also really scared :/

Normally I wouldn't really care what anyone else thinks however I've had a pretty tough few years my mum had a riding accident 28th August 2008 it left her severly brain damaged and as a result she ended up in a home she started making some good progress by talking and remembered all her family then the most unimaginable thing ever happened after 16mths of fighting she got a very rare type of pneumonia and it finished her needless to say myself my family were devastated I'll never get over losing her she was everything to me my absolute world, my best frinend I miss her terribly and it doesn't get easier despite what people say :'(

Anyway my reason for being scared about baby No5 is what people will say I know I shouldn't care what people think and if mum was here she would reasure me but obviously she isn't here so I'm rescuing out to other mums with large families to see If they've experienced any back lash off people? And also how they find having 5 children?? I know one more won't really make much difference but I'm thinking with routine etc especially as I have my 2 boys in school now..

I do apologise if this message isn't making much sense I'm just trying to type quick and I have baby brain (never lost it from my others tbh lol)

Look forward to chatting to all you mummies :) xxx

[MumsTheWord85]

Reaching* not rescuing stupid iPhone for you -.- xxx

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

I'd get this deleted and repost with way less personal information tbh

[MumsTheWord85]

I'm just giving people a general idea of my life it's not exactly overly personal!! If everyone is as judgemental as you then I think I'd rather not come on here. I personally think you should change your name as it's not very appropriate for a mums site but that's just my opinion :)

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

How is it judgemental to advise getting your names off here? And actually, if you hang around, my name is most appropriate here...

[MumsTheWord85]

Oh you meant names well ok that's fair enough you should of really explained that better tbh. And I'm sorry but that kind of name is really offensive!!

[thisisyesterday]

wtf?

loads of people post their names and kids names on here. it isn't like the OP has put their surname and address or anything.

i've put my own name and my kids names and ages on here before, it's all out there anyway! anyone can look me up i'm on the electoral roll, and they could find out anything about me,.

to the OP though, i'm afraid I only have 3 kids, so no proper advice for you.

[MumsTheWord85]

Thisisyesterday- thank you for that I'm glad not everyone is so judgemental I'd obviously not post that information I just wanted to be honest with who I am as I'm sure there are sickos that pretend to have a family etc.. Thanks hun x

[KateShmate]

Hi Chez

We have 5 DC's - 5 girls :)
Cant comment on what its like to go from 4-5 as number 3,4 and 5 of ours were triplets.. so went from 2-5.. (That was a shock!)
I would guess that if you are coping well with 4 already, you will be fine with another :)
Routine is certainly the key - writing out a routine for the day helps me most - otherwise find myself desperately thinking of things to do; but structuring the day means that your older ones will be kept busy whilst you look after the baby.
As im sure you know, its really easy to get the older ones involved - even just asking them to run upstairs and grab a nappy for you!
When our triplets were babies, but DH had gone back to work, he would come home early at about 4.30 and take my older 2 out for a long walk to the park whilst I either just sat and cuddled babies or got tea on.. would then mean that my older 2 were super tired and in bed at a decent time, leaving us more time to do housework/cooking for next day/ washing etc.
Cook the day before - after all mine are in bed and everythings sorted out, either me or DH will cook big dinner (eat ours tonight and fridge the rest for DD's for dinner). Otherwise I find that if I cook on the night, I have 5 girls hanging on my ankles begging to be fed and so end up giving them a quick rubbish dinner rather than standing and cooking meal.
HTH :)

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

I think you miss my point a tad. Nothing to do with being a sicko. You've just made yourself extremely identifiable, so no need to worry about what people will think. If they see this, they already know.

[thisisyesterday]

wow, what a lovely welcome to mumsnet. I bet mumstheword is really glad she posted here

[MumsTheWord85]

Jeez all I've done is explain who I am and about myself and I get grief well I seriously am re thinking being on here now!!! And you 2 call yourselves mothers???? Well blow me down!!! I'll be it I've never met such nasty judgemental people on a supposedly honest mums site wow thanks


To the 2 ladies that posted nice comments thank you :) xx

[fuckityfuckfuckfuck]

Again, the only nasty and judgemental person I see on this thread is you OP. I was offering you some basic internet safety advice, no nastiness and no judgement. But since you're so offended, they're very welcoming of real names of netmums.

[MumsTheWord85]

NatashaBee what exactly does that mean anyway?? So your saying basically I'm in the wrong for having another child?? If this is so what may I ask are you doing on the 'Larger Family' forum??? Just wondering

[MumsTheWord85]

And just how have I judged you?? By the statement 'and you CALL yourselves mothers???' I do believe that wasn't a judgement I was just simply saying to how you are being. You didn't exactly put your 'advice' as you call it politely did you??? If it was intended to be 'polite' then I apologise

[topknob]

I have 5 kids, aged 13, 10, 9, 7 and 6... 3 boys and 2 girls, the two middle boys were 9 months apart as ds3 was 2 months prem...the comments we have had ! Shocking, it isn't so bad now they are older tbh but when they were small people used to comment all the time..got fed up with the no TV 'joke'. I do think people assume you are scroungers but we aren't, never have been (thankfully) dh is self employed. The last child was a pleasent accident and I did have doubts to start with but it all works out in the end. Congratulations on your pg xxx

[topknob]

Oh and to reiterate above poster...ROUTINE !! But you'll know this from no's 3 & 4..this baby will fit in around you, not the other way round x

[MumsTheWord85]

Topknob- I get the 'no TV' comment alot with just having the 4 so no doubt it will all be said again which is fair enough. Im looking forward to baby No5 and although it's scary now knowing that others have been there just makes it alot easier and it's reassuring. Thank you hun :) xxx

[MumsTheWord85]

NatashaBee- I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions you are so right there tbh. I am only sensitive because of the damn hormones LOL.. But yer I know I'll get them kind of people I do expect it :/
Haha I love them comebacks thanx I'll defo give them ago lol x

[4madboys]

grrr just typed a long post and it got lost!

anyway firstly congratulations!

secondly i am sorry about your mum :( condolances xxx

i ahve 5, 4boys aged 12, 9, almost 7 and 3yrs and an 11mth old dd :)

you will get comments, i just grin or do a whatever face!

there are some good threads in larger families including one that is very positive that i will link to later, got to go put baby to bed xxx

[4madboys]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1287943-You-know-youve-had-too-many-children-when

here it is :)

[sweetsantababy]

Congratulations. big families rock. I have 3 but hoping to be pg with number 4 by next christmas.

usually large family threads are lovley and supportive but can be quiet on here.

Its totally up to you how much info you put out there. However lots of mnetters stay fairly annonymus.(sp?)

You will sadly get flamed for 'saying' hun, lol, mummies (inthe context you used it). Just the way it is on here, you get used to it. It can be a really helpful site but very entertaining bitchy at times.

Stick around.

[Thinkingof4]

Jeez you don't normally get bunfights on the larger families forum!!
OP v sorry about your mum , congratulations on pregnancy.

It might be worth reading a bit more forums to get an idea how things work here- there are lots of sweary/ rude usernames and it's just something to get used to, not comment on. You were a bit rude to fuckity IMO

Mumsnet is great for support but it's not such a happy clappy place as say netmums.
I only have 3, but would just ignore any comments and smile
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy

[harrygracejessica]

I have 5 horrors :-) routine is the key but I have alot of young ones which doesnt help.

boy is 4, twin girls are 3 and twin boys are 7 months.

I get alot of negative comments fro people with just one set of twins so shut them up now when I say I have another set at nursery. Just ignore the lot of them, as long as your happy.