so i have 3 under 5

[gluttom]

I am sitting here breastfeeding DD who is 5 days old. I have 2 DS who are 2.5 and 3.10. I am wondering how the hell am i going to manage when DH goes back to work. I really struggled in pregnancy at the end and was induced at nearly 42 weeks so the prolonged struggling bit of pregnancy might be clouding my judgement as despite having a 3rd degree tear from a very quick delivery I feel much better already. Obviously it is early days but the breastfeeding has me pinned to the couch for quite a while. I am lucky in that i don't have a school run to do as such as the boys go to a private day nursery 2 full days a week so dh will continue to take them on his way to work on Wednesday and Thursday. Other than that I am worried about managing 3 days a week with all 3 of them all day and ever getting anything done if dd turns out to be a crier and non napper. I have a selection of slings. I'm sure all will be ok but i feel overwhelmed right now. any little tips?

I'm scared because 2-3 is the hardset i've heard but i struggled with 1-2 which was a 17mth age gap and a real velcro screamer of a ds2.

Watching with interest, I have the scenario coming up soon!

I have this but with 5 children and 3 under 3.5 and school run to two different schools. I am a fuckwit and I manage, you will be fine. If it is only three days a week and no school run then it will be ok honestly. Cbeebies is your friend!

It will be OK. It isnt easy, but can be done, and it wont take long before things get easier. And your DD when she is a little older has ready made entertainment on hand in the form of her brothers

Can I also add to Rivens advice to never do that with shoe polish either . It was quite something trying to get that cleaned up.

Or felt pens.

Yes Riven is right, sod the mess it is the only way. And do not have the tv on too much because then it doesn't work - when you are feeding put it on and sit down with them and watch and talk about what is on the programme. I did this with 3 and 4 (16 months in between) and then they don't feel ignored but you can chill and know they are not up to badness whilst you are feeding - then turn the tv off again and resume normal service. Using their fave programmes like this meant that number 3 thought it was such a treat for the bubbah to have a feed (as he only stopped bf himself a few weeks before his brother arrived). It defused the jealousy and also meant we didn't spend the entire day with the telly on which is easily done.

Lower your standards and take each day as it comes. I had 3 under 3.6 - my motto was that if we made it through each day with all limbs and digits in tact we were doing well. 18 months on it is much easier.

watching with intesrest as im due with DC3 end of may... DS1 will be 3.6 and DS2 2.1...
i have a cleaner coming in once a week for 3 hours. i am planning to put DS1 at nursery Mon-Wed and DS2 Wed-Fri so i have wed on my own with baby.
Also toying with the idea of having a nanny or babysitter helping me two evenings a week (tue and Thu) bc it is evening i find the most difficult and that way i only have to do one eve on my own before i get some help.
DP works very long hours so he cannot help with mornings /evenings and we dont have any family around. but at least we have a bit of money and can afford some help/childcare.

DS1 was/is a velcro whinger and really puts me on the verge some days. Hoping DC3 will be more relaxed like DS2 otherwise Im f....d!!!!

gluttom, why dont you spread the nursery days for your boys, so that you have DC1 doing mon-tues, DC2 Wed-Thu and then friday with all 3, that should be more manageable dont you think?

I've got 3 under 5. DD2 is 4 months, DD1 is 2 1/2 and DS is 4 1/2. Luckily DS has started school now but I had all three of them over the summer. As long as everyone was basically fed and clothed and we had been out of the house at least once (even if just into the garden) I felt I was doing ok. Most days I got those things done. Sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less.

I found 1-2 really hard so had very low expectations for 2-3 but actually it has been much easier than 1-2. DD2 spent most of the summer in a sling smiling at people.

Sling, sling, sling! DD1 was 3.4 and dd2 19mths when dd3 came along. I had one nursery run and I did the pick up five days a week at noon (with my husband doing the morning). Learning to breastfeed in the sling was my saviour - not very dignified, but meeting all dcs needs was the most important thing. I'm sure my boobs were often just left hanging out!! Like the others have said, lower your cleanliness standards and use tv a little more, esp in the first few months. I also found being out tended to help with my sanity levels! It doesn't get easier, but you get a lot better at handling it. It can't be all bad because I will have dc4 in Jan - a 22 month gap with dd3. Now I have two school runs done completely on my own - nursery and school - I'm wondering how the hell I'll manage when dc4 arrives. Good luck!

I had 3 under 5 and being organised is the key! Organise clothes for the week on a Sunday, meal plan and have food shopping delivered with plenty of ready made snacks for you and the kids, get out of the house EVERY day! You will all feel better for it. Have a walk to a park/collect leaves/anywhere the older children can run about for a bit. Try and do the majority if your housework on the days your older 2 are in nursery and definitely lower your standards. Meet with friends/family as often as you can or invite them over. They'll be happy to play with your children/cuddle baby for a bit to give you a break. Good luck, you'll honestly be fine.

I'm in exactly the same position as tostaky, with DC3 due in May, when DS1 will be 3.6 and DS2 2.1 ... in fact maybe I AM tostaky (though sadly no cleaner arranged yet).

DS2 was my velcro baby and is still joined at the hip... am hoping 2.1 years' gap is enough not to give him serious middle child syndrome.

My plan is... DS1 and DS2 go to nursery 2 full days per week, spread out so I never have to do more than 2 days in a row on my own. When DS1's nursery fees drop in Jan, I'm planning to spend the spare ££ on a cleaner. I was also thinking of some kind of mother's help between 4pm and 6pm as that's always a tough time - maybe a childcare student from college? Will have to investigate. Will keep watching this thread with interest.

I have DS1 (4.1), DS2 (2.2) and DS3 (11 weeks old). I had a CS so the first few weeks were tough at times but I am lucky to have a lot of family near by who helped at tea/bath/bed time as DH is a farmer and usually doesn't get home until 6.30-7pm.

THe last few weeks have steadily become easier. I am more physically able to do things and baby is much more predictable with his feeding. He is a very efficient feeder which helps - 15minutes every 2-3 hours and he's done which is brilliant when I compare it to the hour DS1 used to take each time.

I have all three at home for two days a week. the older two go to a private nursery for one day and to the local pre-school (so term time only which can be a pain) for two days (DS1) / two mornings (DS2). On our days together we go the local toddler group one morning and meet friends in the afternoon. The other day we do different things each week. I always get out of the house with them at least once, even if it's only for my own sanity!

What I find hardest on a day to day basis is the fact the all three of them are reliant on me dressing them so it takes quite a while to get out anywhere. DS1 can do his bottom half but I look forward to the day when I can give them their clothes and let them dress themselves! It is also much harder to pop anywhere, for example the local garage to get milk, I tend to ask DH to do stuff like that or I go when the older two are at pre-school/nursery.

I would highly recommend getting a cleaner if you can afford one. Mine started two months ago and she does 3 hours every other week (so she comes twice a month). It has made such a difference not having to do much basic cleaning but simply getting on with all the other day to day stuff like cooking, washing, ironing etc.

Good luck, once you are feeling physically better you will hopefully find yourself less worried.

Hi, and good luck, was in the same position with a flaming dog that needed two hours walking every day.

I have one bit of advice, which is to keep one area of the house nice for your sanity and forget the rest. You simply will find it impossible to keep on top of things other wise.

Actually one other bit of advice, which is to kind of slightly pretty much completely abandon any plans for much of a routine with the third. It all fits in in the end, naps in the buggy on the way to school or in the playground, bananas in the car. They'll all be fine! The first 18 months is the toughest but it's actually pretty much a joy when they get older what with being so close.

There is one big advantage with going from two to three over one to two .That is that the old two can entertain each other somewhat and there isn't the same lone child needing attention when the baby really does need to take it all.

Oh another bit of advice. Buy a giant travel square travel cot and leave it up You can chuck all the toys in there over night and during the day put the two older ones in as a playpen for when it all becomes aarrgh.

Otherwise sympathy, strength, vibes and confidence to you. You'll do it, and do it well.!

Have DD1 (3 yrs), DD2 and DS (2 yr old twins).

I can say it has been bloody hard. But there are way through it...

If someone offers help, accept.
Move close to grandparents if possible. (not kidding)
If you can get an au pair, go for it. Otherwise see if some local older kids are willing to come over for some evening/weekend hours.
Cook in batch. Forget gourmet meals. Convenience is everything.
Get a mountain of sticker books.
Get a cleaner once a fortnight if possible.
Make sure DH understands that this is going to need a team effort.

That's all I can think of right now...

Oh and get a baby fence you can use to create a secure circle (we used to call this the baby jail). A real life-saver to have a no-danger place to have the youngest in times of crisis.

I was terrified when DH went back to work but it was fine. Not great but fine! another vote for the sling here. I had a karri me and it was fab and v comfortable.
The time flies by. Try and enjoy it and not let the children drive you completely crazy

I had 3 under 3 and am generally very baby led and anti routine - i was more laid baby and baby led with ds2 but gina ford from day 1 with ds3! i had routine's written down on paper stuck up round the house to help me keep track. i didn't follow them to the letter but it just helped to have a vague guide to follow. without it i really didn't know what to do with myself. with ds2 i often had no idea at all when i had fed him or when he was due a feed, i just fed him at the first squeak and that worked quite well but i didn't think i could manage like that with 3, i had a desperate need to have some control!

i'm lucky i have family to babysit every day so i tried to plan something to do with the older 2, one at a time. i didn't have any nursery till baby was 7months, dh works long hours but we've just managed. i was lucky with a baby that slept a lot in the first few weeks and we went out a lot to toddler groups and activities to keep the older boys worn out and busy.

i've got a cleaner who comes once a fortnight so i can chill out a bit knowing the house is going to get a proper clean . it's soooo worth it to come home to a clean house.

porcupine lol you are def me!!

I have 5 under 5. So eldest is 4, girl twins are 3 and boy twins are 6 months. When I had the boys it was only the eldest in nursery but now the eldest and the girls go. So I drop 3 off in the morning, pick the girls up at lunchtime then the eldest in the afternoon. If they start fighting when you are feeding, either give them something to eat as a treatif they are good or that is when you use the tele to help you and they can have it on.