Does anyone with lots - envy those with less?

[mulranno]

Do you sometimes wonder what your life would be like if you had stopped at 2 children?....

My eldest ds often says this to me, so yes I am 'encouraged' to think what our life would have been like if I had just had him. Life would be less noisy, the house would be tidy, there would be order, we would be able to afford more holidays, infact we would be able to afford alot more stuff, we wouldn't always have a houseful of friends and I would not be tired for 99% of the time.

But who wants a quiet life anyway!!

How many children do you have mulranno?

4

didnt mean to be short...just rushed out to pick-up

I have 3. Sometimes but then I think of dd3 and they are so worth it.(smile)

I have 2 'biggies' of 12 and 10, and 2 'littlies' of 4 and 19 months. I do often think how much easier and calmer things would be if we had stopped at 2! How we could be doing grown up things now. I really feel guilty a lot of the time that the 2 biggies miss out on doing things, because its not suitable for the littlies, or it would be just too much hard work with them. Saying that, I do love it with 4 most of the time and think that the 2 biggies have learnt lots by having younger ones around.

Have a good evening x

To be honest, although I've only got 3 just now - ds 4 is due next month, 2 does look very quiet and easy from where I'm standing. I'm not sure if I'd be a bit bored - I know I'd be better off though!

Yes I am expecting number four And now in a state of panic I have 3 small children I sometimes find it hectic and I am always tired.

Most of my friends stopped at two and I do think it seems as if that would be so easy in comparison if it was just my dc1 and 2 now, I feel like I could pretty much do anything.

Are you asking as you find 4 quite hard?

Yes, sometimes like this week all the time! Had 2 ds's vaguely thought about having another lo and behold pg with twins and ended up with 4 under 5. That was 3 years ago and still don't like being mum of 4 quite frankly. They are all delicious but my mental and physical health is stuffed. So envious sometimes of friends with one or two I could cry. I was not desiigned for large family.

I have always wanted a big family and was desperate for No4....think when they were all little it was kind of easier - just bundled them all together -pressure was getting them, fed, bathed, bed, etc which although demanding with 4 was doable. Now they are older (13, 11, 10, 5) - pressure is keeping up with and trying to address their individual needs - educational, emotional, their social life, sports commitments/clubs/interests etc - chuck in one with SEN, 2 that row constantly and need refereeing, and it just feels like there is nowhere to come up for air -- also being older and feeling tired I am finding this stage not very fulfilling.

Do you just feel sometimes you're failing to get anything right? There's just a huge amount to do with four or more without factoring in SN or illness. Does your dh provide much support?

I love having four but sometimes I could cry with tiredness. Mine are 14, 11, 4 and 2m (ds2 has a lot to do with tiredness!)

I look at friends' tidy houses and sporty cars and nicer clothes and calmer days etc and think 'wow - that looks so great' then I realise that to do that they only have 2 children and I'm content with what we have.

Keeping up with everyone's schedules is the hardest thing but we muddle through.

I'm sure that by the time ds2 is 6m I'll have hit my stride and everything will be fine. We've had a pretty shakey start what with tongue tie, jaundice, reflux etc etc but I keep focussing on that tiny dot of light at the end of the very long tunnel!

It is noticable that dh has been a lot more useful this time - he's even done some night feeds without being asked

I think maybe I feel that I have devoted so much time and energy to them all for so long and I was hoping that we could step back a bit and reclaim some of our life and some time for ourselves....but that does not seem to be possible or happening ..... maybe we need to be a bit firmer in trying to achieve this.

I think it's only natural to envy smaller families, we only had 2 of our 4 for some of the summer and it was such a breeze.
Days out were cheap and a doddle to cope with, we could eat out without getting those 'looks', loading up the car took seconds instead of the usual 20 minutes, cooking and washing up just seemed less of an epic task with only 2 kids to feed, I could go on...

But on the other hand, it was pretty dull as well, really quiet and I felt a little redundant, I wouldn't want to be like that permanently, yawnsville!
The kids don't get as much as they would if they were part of a smaller family (time, attention, activities, stuff, etc) but they definitely appreciate being part of the gang, they seem to thrive on always having someone around who'll want to play and seeing all 4 getting on together is just the best feeling :o (OK so it doesn't happen that often but it's getting easier as they're growing up) We'll have to see what the teenage years bring though, obviously .

wow! not me, I have 2 and envy those with 4! the grass is always greener...

Well my boss has four and always said he should have stopped at 3, four is too much hard work (he works FT and his wife is SAHM).
Im pregnant with my third (and we are stopping here) and I already wonder whether we have made a good choice?.

Tostaky
Don't worry it will be fine! I had ds3 4 months ago and although it is hectic and noisy I feel really happy to have a bigger family and as the baby gets bigger ( and more interesting to his brothers ) I am sure things will get easier. And it is just lovely when they play together

4 pushed us over the edge. The credit crunch hasn't helped but we have had a wonderful weekend all together despite dd1 having shingles.They have all played together,looked after each other and helped their mum and dad do the garden for hours.

I often wonder what 1 or 2 would of been like. I wouldn't change it though.Hopefully I can rest when I am very old LOL! (11,9,6 and2)

I often wonder as I have 2 teenagers then an 8 year old and 2 babies so life would be very very different. I certainly don't envy others, I love my 5 and even when it's crazy, we laugh a lot and muddle through.

It would be a lot quieter but where is the fun in that?

Life would have definitely been a lot quieter,tidier and would have had more money and space if we had stopped at two but that would have been so boooooooooring!I love the chaos that having 4 creates (13,10,6,4).We have so much fun as a tribe and we laugh a lot we also shout a lot and always seem to have their friends round too!It's tiring but worth it.It's definitely a full life!

NO I have never envied them. I have always wanted at least 4 and then 5. But I feel done now although sometimes envy those with 6+! 5 is very hard, though, and it is hard with big gaps sometimes. I like the chaos and always being busy although it is extremely hard at times and the changing beds and housework is overwhelming. Luckily I am a SAHM so can concentrate on the chaos full time. I don't envy material items etc.

I have 6 and even though the house is a mess,the noise can make my head spin and we have no money,i wouldn't have it any otherway.

I love having a big family and if i could i would have another one.

xx

I often do wonder what it would be like having 2 - or even having 1!

I am certain I woudn't be this tired and rushed off my feet and that I would get a lot more breaks as it is easier to get grandparents or friends to look after 2 than 4!!

I would have a much quieter/simple life. I would definitely miss the noise and hustle and bustle. Even when one of the children is out at friends' houses it feels a little empty and I miss them.