aagh the line turned blue!!! come tell me the pros of 4 dcs and large gaps!!!

[frazzled74]

totally unplanned , am a mass of emotions. dc1 is 18 and going to uni in 2 weeks and will be mortified to have a pregnant mum, dc2 is 8, dc3 is 5. I have just got to stage where childcare is easy to arrange amongst friends, i can have the odd night away, money is slightly better, we only have 3 bedrooms and dc1 will still need a room to come home to, id made plans for next year that will have to be cancelled. and i know i sound shallow and that i am lucky and blessed but oh i feel too old to do it all again, please come and make me feel better!

Ok. Pros of DC4:

It's another child! (I might be broody)
DC1 will be v careful re: contraception.
You have 2 little helpers at home, old enough to be a bit more independent than when DC3 arrived.
The big step, I imagine, is going from 2 to 3. You've done that & survived.
It prooves you're not really old at all.
There's nothing wrong with sharing a bedroom and it teaches you to share and get along???

Ok. I don't really know anything about having 3 or 4 kids, but if you've managed to raise 3 so far and DC1 is off to university, I'd say you're up to the challenge if you want it.

Good luck

Congratulations.

You have most definately done the hard part. Going from 2 to 3 children, a fourth will just seem to slot in.

Granted childcare will be hard but you have done it before so can surely manage again.

Baby will slot right in, and just go with the flow as no doubt your 3rd child did for the first couple of years anyhow.

All those baby and toddler kisses and cuddles to look forward to again. You have most definately learnt by your mistakes by the time the fourth comes along. You will be a pro and baby will be a much better sleeper, more easy going etc, than any of your other children. At least in so far as the first fourteen months of life are concerned (my dc4 being 14 months).

The washing is already a monumental battle and the fourth doesn't make it any more monumental really.

The fact that your other children are older will make this pregnancy so much easier. No toddlers to lift, get in and out of cars, swings, buggies etc. Older kids can bring drinks to you whilst you sit it out on settee!!

An extra person to look out for you in your old age!!

Whilst I am not too old to cope with my fourth I do have very willing helpers when we go to the park, when I need nappies or wipes from another room, when dc4 is attempting something dc4 shouldn't be attempting.

dc4 has an old biological mum but 3 very willing enthusiastic adopted mums, whom he tolerates loves very much.

You will cope and dc4 will slot in so well.

thankyou so much for all the kind comments, i feel much better now, almost excited!

DD3 was born when the older 3 were 12, 14 and 16. It has been bloody LOVELY!! The older children have been wonderful with her from the start and are built-in babysitters. It will be a bit different for you with the younger ones being that much younger than mine.

Baby can share with you for a few months while the older children get used to it, then will fight over whose room it'll go in I'll wager... Your 18 yo may surprise you. Or s/he might be a bit difficult. Ultimately s/he is nearly an adult and tbh a new baby sibling will be very popular when you go to visit your DC.

Thats wonderful news.My eldest was 9 when dc4 was born dc2 was 7 and dc3 was 4.the 9 and 7 year olds have been fantastic.It is wonderful to see them with their little brother.

You are going to have a lovely big family.Your dd1 will be like an aunt.

I'm expecting DTs (DC 5 and 6) very soon and I already have 3 boys (20 and 15yo twins) and a DD (12)! It will be a squeeze but DS1 has already left home and the other three spend so much time at their friends' houses that space (I'm hoping) won't be an issue. We are all very excited in the family and DS1 is very excited about having a baby brother - I thought they would be embarrassed but they have all been great! Good luck with your little one :)

My "OMG" baby was only my third so I can't help you there but just wanted to say a big Congratulations. Leaving the 18yo out of the equation (and he'll be at Uni anyway) there will only be a 9 year gap between your three youngest. When DD was born DS1 was nearly 10, DS2 5. It has worked out brilliantly - it always does if you want it too. Enjoy.

Congratulations!

As others have said 2 to 3 is the hardest one.

I have 4, oldest nearly 15, youngest 11 months. My middle are 7 and 5.

My oldest adores his baby brother! He has quickly realised that a cute baby is a very good way of attracting girls attention and uses this shamelessly!

The middle two are great helpers. 7 yr old in particular loves being old enough to do proper jobs.

Baby has fit right in with us and I am enjoying him so much and wishing everyday it would all slow down as he is growing up too quickly.

If it helps I was unsure all the way through pregnancy about how this would affect us/me, had to delay uni start but that seems pretty minor now he's here.

I have 4.. with a big gap right in the middle, so slightly different to you. My eldest is 17, then 14, 3 and my 'really?, can I really do this?' baby is 16 weeks.

All 3 are brilliant helpers in their own way, even the 3yo who sings to her little brother and winds up his mobile if he's grumpy and I need to do something. She also takes his nappy off (not always at a convenient time I might add) and pops his dummy back in when he's trying the nap downstairs and it falls out. The older ones are great for cuddling and looking after the two little ones whilst I shower or cook tea or even more helpful when they cook tea !!?

I agree with pretty much all of trickydickie's post... my no.4 is such an easy going laid back little chap and I put that down to me being that little bit more relaxed this time around.

The wicked side of me even finds that Toddler groups are much more fun as I really don't mind much now what other people think of me and my parenting style/childs development/choice of milk/stance on the co-sleeping, babywearing debate and can be myself, rather than what i feel others expect!

It is hard work, but great fun... more with 3 and 4 than it ever was with no.1 but not because of the child, but as I don't spend every hour of every day crippled with worry I'm not getting it right. I know it'll all work itself out in the end!

Congratulations, and enjoy!

Congratulations! I have dcs of 20, 18, 16 and 9 (all with same DH !), and its fine...apart from being the oldest mum by far in Yr5 and feeling a tad left out sometimes it has been the best thing ever and I would never have it otherwise xx

in our family (inc aunts and stuff) all children have big age gaps, my family 19,8,7,5,3. (i'm the 19 yo) and i'm another parent when i'm home (at university) it works out well, when i lived at home i was a parent and it helped my dad and his partner massively as i was an outsider looking in almost and i could help with any problems if it was needed. the age gaps aren't bad, you'll have your little helpers (keep them as only helpers while there young) and you'll have great fun and as all posters have said it before you've done it all already, experience goes a loooonnngggg way so congratulations and i hope everything will go well for you :)