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Larger families

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Original poster

please come talk/help me

24 replies

xkatyx · 03/05/2011 18:50

Hiya everyone.

I am a happy mum of 3 children 8,5, and 3 months.

and well could well be pregnant again.

I'm so scared, i love the thought of another baby but 4 is soooo much.

Any mums of 4 out there who can make it less scarey?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MUM2BLESS · 03/05/2011 19:08

Hi xkatyx

I am a mum of four. I send you a hug, pleae do not be afraid.

Are you working or at home? I work as a childminder from home with six kids on my register.

You problably feel scared because your youngest in 3 months. My kids are 6 9 12 and 15.

I would be interesting to hear from anyone who have four children who are all very young.

Please give some support for xkatyx

I am one of seven myself and my dad from what I can remember was one of 13.

Take one day at a time. If you need help do not be afraid to ask from friends and family.

All the very best

Original poster

xkatyx · 03/05/2011 19:36

thank you so much, that is a lovely post and i really appreciate it

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allias · 03/05/2011 20:04

hiya!! Just popping in to chat :)

I am having a slight panic too as I have 4 and am now pg!!

Having 4 kids is hard work - no denying it - but it isn't as scary as it seems, my last 3 were very close and it was hard at the pg and bf stage as they overlapped and I was sick but they sort of slotted in with each other, shopping trips can be slightly hectic but that may be cos I get stressed, other mums of 4 kids (and more) seem to be stress free lol
getting a good pushchair will be a life saver as I'm guessing you'll need a double.

my younger 3 are very close relationship wise as they're close in age and being all boys they share clothes (hand me downs) which helped money wise.

I'm an only child so the sibling squabbles was new to me lol

how are you feeling at the moment, have you taken a test yet?

Original poster

xkatyx · 03/05/2011 20:09

congratulations.

I would love a huge family just dont know where to put all these babies lol

i have taken a test and out them on my profile not sure if they are evap lines or not?

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vhappymumma2b · 03/05/2011 20:09

I'm not a mother of 4, though I have a few friends that do - and for all of the hectic stuff that comes with it, I know that they are so very happy and wouldn't want it to be any other way. Really hope that all goes well for you x

lollystix · 03/05/2011 20:21

Hey Katy - I'm on your bus - found out last night. Ds1 is 4.9 and starts school august (Scotland), ds2 is 2.9, ds3 is 13 months and I'm literally back in the door at work where moat women have none or 1 (banking- very male). I'm bricking it. God knows how we will afford it. Do love the chaos of the three I have just now though. Congratulations- no doubt in 5 years w just e'll look back and laugh about it!! I'm trying to console myself with that thought for now (as I mainly want to cry).

morphthecat · 03/05/2011 20:23

Congratulations!
I have 5 ,between 16 and 1 yr,and am now on my own with them.
We are a bit of a carnival procession at times,when out.But we are all used to this on the whole!
I have found that mine are all very close on the whole,and they dote on the youngest.I expect a lot of sharing with household chores,and started on this with the eldest very early,so the youngest take it for granted.

They are generally very thoughtful and well behaved,and now the eldest are teenagers,we have some great debates and discussions.

I do get stressed out and frustrated with the squabbling - several times a week at least..but I wouldn't have it any other way.I am used to the general chaos,but also the comfort of lots of people,laughter,and bustle.We are not hugely well of,but we have great fun. I feel very lucky.

All the best to you xxx

Original poster

xkatyx · 04/05/2011 12:34

hey lollystix, i did a digital this morning and got pregnant 1-2 weeks.

How are you going to cope with all the "oh my god" comments.

Me and my Dh are shocked but happy

Oh im so scared

OP posts:

TheNinjaGooseIsOnAMission · 04/05/2011 13:04

aww, congratulations

I have 5, it's loud and hectic but I wouldn't have it any other way, love it!

D0G · 04/05/2011 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

xkatyx · 04/05/2011 19:10

thank u all so much, the more i think about the less scarier it seams.

any advce on unwanted comments?

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lou33 · 04/05/2011 19:20

i have four, though mine are older now at 19, 14, 12 and 10, but at one point i had 3 under 5

it is busy and non stop but then again it is with 3, so the biggest change if you dont already have one, is having to buy an mpv style car with enough seats for you all

Original poster

xkatyx · 04/05/2011 20:10

I must be a mad lady that loves the caos of it all, i dont find 3 hard at all, i found going from 1-2 a challenge 2-3 not so bad, strange i suppose.

OP posts:

morphthecat · 04/05/2011 20:18

xkatyx - what kind of comments are you thinking of,and have you had any already?

I live in a rural backwater where people can be very "blunt" at times,but cannot think of any remarks or comments that have been said - to my face at any rate!
I am aware that people do stare at us all sometimes when we are all out together,but I imagine they are wondering what the set up is,or how I manage with so many.
Actually,that is the comment I do hear - "how on earth do you manage?". I take it as a compliment, that I must appear to be managing,even if it doesn't always feel like it,and even if that is not quite what is meant.
I would consider any negative comments to be very rude and personal - none of anyone's business to be making - and would try to gently point that out by acting surprised and asking "what do you mean",or something.

I agree with lou33,the biggest change was going from having 2 to having 3.Since then,it is just logistics really - and extra fun and love (and noise!).

Original poster

xkatyx · 04/05/2011 20:29

The usual comment "are you mad" "why would you want anymore!" " oh my god"

I think it is just rude really, know one elses buisness

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Almost6 · 04/05/2011 20:37

Hi, I have 5 and 6 is due I'm 5 weeks, our household is loud, and hectic but I love it that way and hate it when they go to school. I love school holidays and spending time with them( they grow up to bloody fast). And so many other people have an opinion on how big the family is from friend to family but I ignore them! I get from family "do u need more" I say "no I want more"! And all the wise cracks from complete strangers like don't u no how it happens or don't u have a tv etc, I reply with I have a tv but nothing good is on!, yes I no how it happens that's why I have this many coz I'm so good at it! If you out smart there comment it will shut them up or embarrass them.
Good luck, but I'm sure you won't need it coz things just seem to work them selves into a pattern/ routine.

Original poster

xkatyx · 04/05/2011 20:40

Oh i like the "im good at it comment" yup already had all those comment with pregnancy number 3 lol

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PositiveAttitude · 04/05/2011 21:05

I have 5 - less than 6 years between eldest and youngest. They are now older 19,18,16,15 and 13. It was hectic when they were young, but we survived and all in one piece. We often get comments like "here's the Waltons", or people sing the Sound of Music theme tune!

When I announced to MIL that I was pregnant with DC3 she was most unimpressed and said "Dont expect help from me, you've made your bed, you lie in it!" I didnt bother telling her about the pregnancies after that! Also, when 3 days overdue with DC4 and having walked a mile to her house with a buggy and 2 littlies I was sat in her lounge when she said "I think you should get off your fat arse and go and play with your children, you had them!"
Dont worry about the comments!!

Almost6 · 04/05/2011 21:51

positive just wondering do you still speak to your mil? Don't think I would! But no when hubby is throwing a tantrum I would quickly take him to hers and say you gave birth to it you deal with it.
What really annoys me though is 2 faced friends and family who give the insults n comments then barely give u an hour from giving birth an turn up to see them, I quickly send them on there way!
xkatyx if your happy shove 2 fingers up to every1 who dosent support you and enjoy your dc's and pg coz that's what's important, even while on an 18mnth separation from dh I managed fine with 5. Am sure you'll look back and wonder what you was worrying about!

PositiveAttitude · 04/05/2011 22:09

I could have a thread of my own with MIL grumbles. Not stepped foot in her house in 11 years and she wont lower herself to come here, so we only speak if I happen to pick up the phone when she calls. She was no use when the DCs were younger and DH worked away from home 5 days a week.

When the DC were young is was hard work, but enjoyable, now we have 5 teenagers its just plain hard work!!! No, not really, just sometimes - ie: hormone city here one week in 4!

allias · 05/05/2011 01:44

just caught up with the news, Congratulations!!

You sound much more at ease now, so glad you have had lots of replies to ease your mind, it was great to hear some of the replies from those with 5 and more for me too xoxo

DrownedGirl · 05/05/2011 21:12

We have an 8 yo, 3 yo twins and a 5m old baby
It's great, noisy bit great

I never stop though!

buttonmoon78 · 05/05/2011 21:49

Am expecting #4 in July and I can't wait!

There were a lot of negative comments. One person asked if my dh had wanted me to have a termination .

However, I really can't wait. Mine are a bit more spread out than yours (13, 11, 4) but I think 4 will change the dynamics in our family for the better.

I'm sure you'll be fine.

Original poster

xkatyx · 06/05/2011 10:29

Thank you,

I am excited but at nigth when i cant sleep all the worrys flood my head like room sharing, new car etc. lordy not to mention the worry of the 3 months lol

OP posts:

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