what do you say to people that think your crazy??

[snotdroolanddirtybums]

hi, i've just got off the phone to my mother after telling her im 16wks pg with number 4 and shes worrying herself now that 4 is too much and 'im starting a collection'. she thinks im not going to be able to have any time for myself and that my course will be out the window and the boys i have (aged 6, 4 and 3) will not have one to one time. Now, after spending time trying to explain to her that i've managed to study full time for three years now, keep the house well and give all three boys one to one time shes still not convinced! then im trying to explain that i love my life, my boys and the sometimes hecticness of my lifestyle and she cant quite understand this. she says she doesnt want this for me. will people ever understand or will they assume that your crazy, depressed and struggling forever??

firstly congratulations!!! I have 5dc's and had all the comments under the sun... 'haven't you got a telly..... have you found the cause of the problem yet?... have they all got the same dad ' but yes the 'OMG you are mad/crazy/stupid' is definately the most common. At the end of the day it's not anybody elses life and you don't have to explain yourself. When people tell me I am mad I say that yes I am, but that I WOULDN'T have it any other way and that christmas day is just the best ever!

I also get lots of nice comments though. Apparently my children are all lovely and polite and well kept.

4dc here
3 boys 9, 6, and 4
and a girl of 15mo
and i love every min of it!!!
its nuts here, organized chaos if you like but so so much fun

youll be fine you'll adjust your life to include the new addition and what fun that'll be

Your mother is probably just worrying about you. It's not unusual for parents to worry about their children, you know
Looking after children can be hard work and she's probably hoping that you know what you are doing. Once the baby is here and you are coping okay, she will probably calm down. Just going off how my parents were with their "warnings" to me. Give her time to adjust to the idea.:)

COngratulations.

When DH and I told our families that I was expecting DS3 we got a unanimous negative response ranging from "when are you going to stop having kids?" to "You've got no right having another baby when you can't manage the two kids you've go".

A year later we're in a new house and loving life with 3 boys, and we manage just fine. In fact I warned my brother at the weekend that I intend to have a fourth so when it happens he need only say positive things!

I don't know why some people struggle with the concept of people having more than 2 children

I love the noise, the laughter and the chaos, wouldn't change it for the world

I'm also pregnant (11 weeks) with no. 4 - haven't really told many people yet, partly because I really can't be bothered with all the stupid comments which I know we are bound to get (had a fair few when we announced we were expecting no. 3!)

I know what you mean Haribo about people thinking you need taking to the nut house if you even think of having more than 2 kids!

I personally always wanted a larger family (although no. 4 will definately be our last!) Although it is hard work, it is definately worth it for the good bits!

Congratulations :)

I have four too and i usually just agree with people when they say I'm mad :)

sorry havent been on! thannks for all the replies. 3kidsnobump- i felt the same thats why ive only started telling people. DP still hasnt told his parents! ive been having these awful dreams of me not coping now! last night i dreamt i had the baby and didnt have time to feed it! was awful. the night before i had a dream that my tutor told me i cant go to university because im just not smart enough! i think the things my mum has said has made me start to worry now. although she did say to me the other day if anyone can do it i can....just hope i can now!!.

Congrats - to you all who are expecting!
I also have a large family 3 birth children and 2 adopted and although some things are hard ( but not impossible) and space is a big factor right now, i think people are forgetting that not so long ago large families where the norm! and its only now with peoples view changing and women now working that people expect this to change! 7 seater is a God sent and now DS is now 1, i miss the baby stage and will not be told by anyone that me having another is Crazy!!!! i dont asked for money, baby sitting or anyone to look after them so whats the problem!!!!!

to all who have, who are considering or who will be extended their family! well Done and blessing to you all xxx

congrats, my mum said "again!" when i told her i was expecting 3 and 4, i wouldnt mind so much but she had 5 of us. My DC are 6,4,3 and 6 mths.

The dont you have a tv comment used to really get to me till one day I snapped yes but sex is soo much more fun!! - then scurried out of Waitrose.

I love having 4 and if someone only had 1 I wouldnt dream of saying anything about an only child etc.

I blame the Daily Mail mentality that if you have a larger family you must be on the scrounge, I get CB of £250 pm for which I am very grateful however I have paid tax since I was 15 my DH works I still work part time and as the population is getting older and as a whole having less children they will be thankful of our kids working and paying tax in the future to pay for the elderly care. - rant over.

I love the dont you have a TV comment... May fave reply is always "Oh yes we have a very big telly, we just like to watch lots of Porn on it"
Soon shuts them up all red faced :p

lol @ Rilith thats a good one!

i really want a fourth dc, but one of the main reasons putting me off is because i know my mum will think i'm mad! and i know if i am sensible then it would be madness so she would be right. but it doesn't stop me wanting another one!

Lots of congrats x x

Does it really matter what other people think? We all make choices in our lives that others do not agree with. Its about what is right for you and your family. Some people love having large families others prefer to stick to one or two there is no right or wrong.

People love to judge, let them get on with it and concentrate on your wonderful large family - they have no idea what they are missing