Two children or 3 children

[mumsgotatum]

Hello,

I have just had DD2 and she is 10 weeks. Also we have DS1 3.3 yrs. Truly we are blessed...but I am already thinking about no. 3!! DP wants to stop at 2, he says that we can afford 2 etc. And it is true that we are not high earners but with 2 we can still afford to put a siginificant amount each month to their trust funds, still afford to visit my parents who live in France, we can keep our old car etc etc all the practical reasons. BUT still...!!!!I am 36 now so guess we have to plan if we are going to have 3. I am sure family friends etc would think we're mad!
But obviously one never regrets a child but what's great about 2? What's great about 3? Is it much harder with 3?? Any thoughts appreciated

My thoughts exactly! We have a DS (8) and a DD (2). When I told my friend I wanted no.3 she said why when I already have 1 of each?

If I was over 35 I'd worry about abnormalities, though. If you have a disabled child, you might have to give up work and even if you dont it is a very heavy burden to place on your existing DCs.

But the chance of that is small and I dont think it should stop you if 3 is what you really want. Maybe wait until DC1 is on school though?

Oh it would be when DC1 is at school, he starts next September, i don't think I can stand to get pregnant now!

I have four children. I had my last one at 39 and he is well.

It must be something that you BOTH want. I would have gone for another but hubby talked me out of it. Looking back I think we did the right to stop when we did.

Its personal and its you two that need to decide not anyone else.

All the best in your decision making

I to have 4 children, last one a day after my 40th and he is fine. My best friends brother is disabled and he is regarded as a joy not a burden!!

I agree with MUM2BLESS it is a very personal decision.

I can't really remember what its like to have 2 but I can tell you having 4 is wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!

Was exactly the same as you, same age when DS, now 2.6, was born (DD is 4.4). Just didn't feel done... DP not sure, but came round after some persuasion.

DD2 is 4 weeks old tomorrow . It's lovely. The pregnancy was hard work - no health problems, just tiring looking after 2 toddlers. My triple test results came back as 1 in 350, which they classed as low risk, but not as low as I'd have liked. But all is fine.

I'd love 4 but feel I'd definitely be too old and too worried (and too knackered). I can understand the feeling that you might run out of luck, the more kids you have, but I couldn't fight my own strong urge to have another baby. And the older 2 adore her.

My friend with 4 kids always says having 2 is too insular, too neat .

I'm trying to work this one out myself as well. I have two (one of each) who are gorgeous, but I don't quite feel done... I think the way you grew up yourself might have an impact on the way you think. My husband was one of 2, I was one of 3...
My brain says that 2 makes life easy - fitting car seats in a car, leaving them with parents etc, going back to work (I loved my job). but my heart would like.. just one more...

I have three and that is enough me and oh have discussed and we are happy as we are,but if its something that you both want then go for it :)

If you're happy with two - why overstretch yourselves financially?

We just always wanted three; it's hard to explain why, but we both felt that three was a good balance between having a practical family (we can still fit in a regular car, afford the odd holiday etc) and having a big family (DH is Irish; I've always secretly wanted to emulate my aunt who had eight dcs as I loved the buzz of the place when I was growing up).

I don't think we ever sat down and calculated the extra cost of the third child, but we did have them quite close together to minimise the length of time I took off work.

Fortunately we both wanted the same thing! If nature had dictated two children I'm sure we would have been just as happy.

I was 36 when dc3 was born....

We are in exactly the same position, DD1 is 2.8years and DD2 is 20 weeks but just have the want for one more. DH was one of 3, I was one of 2 so know my family would think I was mad. I'm sure my dm would refuse to babysit too, though I have to work. It wouldn't be till dd1 was in full time school anyway.

We need to extend our house too, 3 bed semi is just not big enough for 3 dc and toys!

So head says no but our hearts say yes

I felt I wanted no.3 for months after no.2 was born. I think that is normal. Luckily that feeling just vanished, now DS is 18 months I am happy with my two and no way want to go back to sleepless nights and 12 nappies a day stage. I didn't start having kids until I was 36 for me 40 was the cut off!

When my dd was 10 wks and son was 2 1/2 I was really upset at the thought of never having another baby; she's now 2 and tbh after 4 years of sleep deprivation I was so pleased to be FINALLY through the baby stage and getting back to having the odd hour or two without demands (and being able to work properly again) I absolutely feel 'done' at 2. But I also knew I wasn't 'done' at 1; and my DP would absolutely not countenance another one either.

Having three under-fours was no picnic, though........