any other sahm's with limited/no help?

[naturalbaby]

i've only got 2 at the moment but in 5 months will have 3 under 3. i've always looked after them all by my self, hubby and my mum are great but only have them for an hour or two here and there. we've just moved to a new area for hubby's job so my family isn't 5mins away to help anymore. they are easy going kids really - but going through a tough time at the moment with potty strike and just walking/crashing into everything so i'm starting to struggle with what i've got and wondering how i'll manage with this + a newborn by myself.

i really don't want to send ds1 to nursery or preschool for childcare - for financial as well as personal reasons. he's not due to go to nursery till next september but i feel he may be ready a bit earlier so it is an option. i don't want to be dragging us all to preschool in the morning if i don't have to - we've missed plenty of morning toddler groups cause we haven't got out the house on time!!

i don't know anyone else who looks after their kids with as little childcare and support as i do and i don't really feel like i've got any options. just wondering if there are any other mums like me out there and how they're managing.

Know exactly how you feel, hard isn't it?

I have a dd 4, ds just turned 3 and am due dc3 at the end of October. Also don't live near family or have any alternate childcare, the last time I had any time to myself was in March when dh took the kids to see his Mum for the day!

Thankfully dd starts school in 2 weeks, and ds will be it playgroup 2.5 hrs a day by the time baby arrives. 3 under 3 must be a daunting prospect.

If any consolation it does get easier, once dd turned 4 and ds was at an age to properly play with her they do entertain themselves a bit more, so at least I can load the dishwasher etc! Still haven't managed a shower in the morning without them piling into the bathroom with me though .

Just keep telling yourself that as they get older things will get easier, maybe even easier than for those with just one or with children with a big age gap. Hopefully yours will play together, be interested in similar things as close in age, great for sharing toys, clothes etc!

So in answer to your question how am I managing? I'd say only just, feel like locking them in a cupboard some days, would love more time to myself, but mostly enjoying it.

Hi, I had three under three, they are ages 2,3 and 4 now with no family around. DH did come home from work about half a hour before bed though and get them all in bed. At the weekend we shared the care so I never felt unsupported the way it sounds you do.

Not much help to say I'm sure you will cope, good luck and wishing you an easy baby.

I had 3 under 4 and looking back now I don't know how I coped as I was on my own during the week for quite some time after DC3 was born. I can remember watching the clock and wishing the day away until I could start bath time.
Once DC1 started school things got easier and I was able to afford playgroup and the DCs all went to nursery on the days I worked.
How I did housework as well I have no idea (didn't have a cleaner).
I now have 4 and still can't get the housework done.
However I didn't have a laptop in those days so at least MN wasn't an added distraction
Keep going, that's all we can do.

I had 4 under 4 (until May but still 3 under 3 at the moment) and my parents live about 6 hours from here. My ILs don't help at all and DH works FT, often away.

It is really hard but I think you will find it not much different at first when the newborn comes as they sleep so much at first and by the time they he/she is more awake in the day the other children will be that bit older and you will be feeling better and in more of a routine.

FWIW, I found the most difficult time was when I was pg with DC4 (and with DC3 before that). I think it is easy to underestimate how hard being pg is. Once they were born I had more energy to deal with everything including a newborn.

Good luck with it all xx

thanks for letting me know i'm not alone, or mad! i know it'll be great in the long term and this is what i planned so i don't want to complain...and i really don't want to wish the next few months away till ds1 goes to nursery.

was just starting to feel a bit potty cause everyone i know sends their kids to nursery or family for childcare.
sods law ds1 has been lovely since baby arrived but is now hitting, pushing, kicking, throwing toys at him and biting just as ds2 learns to walk so he's falling over and crying enough as it is! they were both lovely babies that slept all day and fed really easily - wonder if i'll get a colicky baby next?!?

Hi, I am a single parent of 5 (11,7,5,3,1). I have no family around to help me, the father does nothing to help with the kids and I don't use a childminder for the younger ones or have any kind of home help.

I think as regards having another - the babes tend to fit in around the older ones, and since you've already made the transition from one to two (which i felt was one of the harder transitions) i think you'll be just fine.

Being able to talk to people in a similar position (like here on mumsnet) is a good idea, it will make you feel less alone and there's lots of lovely people on here to offer advice and support. Contact me if you want to chat.

Hi, I'm also going to be in a similar situation in January. Will have 3 under 3, but the 1 and 2 yo are in nursery 2 days a wk (the day's I work ATM). I'm hoping we can scrape together the money to continue the nursery days whilst on Mat leave Just so I can try and get some rest/housework done etc. I must admit though when I had ds2 (ds1 was 15m) I found the nursery run VERY stressful, but he was only in 2 mornings a week then.

as much as i'm really looking forward to having a newborn baby again, i'm also looking forward to the day when i won't be pregnant or breastfeeding - will probably be over 4 years with 3 pregnancies and bfeeding till 12months. i just wish i could give dc3 the attention and calm atmosphere that ds1 got, cause i really feel it's affected ds2 having a noisy big brother crashing about since day 1. except now they're big enough to go shouting and crashing about together it's quite sweet!

I have DS1 (5) DD (almost 4) and DS2 (18months) and have just discovered I'm brewing no4 (planned but still a scary prospect!). DH doesn't leave for work until about 8.30am so I get a bit of help in the mornings apparently but is not home before bedtime. Family is all at least 2.5 hrs drive away.

It's pretty tough no two ways about it but you manage - what else can you do?! Only having friends to ask for help is okay when you've got one or two but once you get past three it becomes increasingly hard to ask someone to take on all of them especially when they have kids of their own. That's not taking into account the practical aspect of things like car trips if someone else is having them.

My saving grace is that my nextdoor neighbour has four, all of similar ages to mine and has a similar husband/familt set up so we often pool resources for school/pre-school pickups and tea. I also have a couple of other friends with three....it's great because they really understand the pressures that a bigger family means, and the fun and joy it brings too.

I love that my three will (generally) play so beautifully together. The two older ones love looking after the littler one. He is hughly independant and self reliant already and I expect this is mostly down to just having to fit in and get on with things. The older ones have always loved helping with the new one too - just little things like getting wipes out the packet/dipping cotton wool into the water at nappy change time.

I'd agree that the change from one to two was a much harder change than two to three. It sounds like you have been a pretty fab mum so far so I expect you'll manage just fine. You just have to try remind yourself what a great job you do when you are having a bummer of a day !

gosh that was a bit epic - didn't mean it to be

starting to really look forward to it now. have started buying a few bits for baby trying to imagine having a newborn in the corner + 2 noisy boys.

the hardest decision at the moment is trying to work out whether it's better to be on my own from 8-5:30 with dh having next to no commute or living nearer my family for babysitting during the day but dh out the house for nearly 12hrs a day due to longer commute. i don't want to set myself up to fail but it seems like nobody else manages 3 very young children on their own all day. it'll be fine if ds1 continues with not wanting to go out anywhere, then we can all slob about in pj's together! although i might have to give in and let him watch his choice of t.v rather than mine?!!

When we had our third we had no help at all and DH was away overnight a lot on business. We managed, but in hindsight, I wish I had got some cheap help in to clean/iron or just babysit sometimes. I think I would have been a better mother and the children would have beneffited.

I have 6 yo, almost 5 yo, 2.2 yo DDs and 5 mo DS and no family help at all.

It's hard, DP leaves at 6am every morning so he can become at 5pm to help at dinners/ baths/beds.

You need to be super organised as some days it is chaos but it's good fun and never dull.