peoples reactions to 4

[benandoli]

OK so today I went to the docs to register for pregnancy of number 4. Got on ok with the doctor then went out to the receptionist to make midwifes apt. I had dd1 with me so she said baby number 2 is it when I said no baby number 4 her eyes nearly popped out of her head and she said are you pleased! I supposse I need to get used to this reactio, not least from family when we tell them.

When are u due? I'm in a very similar situation to you but with no5. Difference is my dh is really,really not happy - angry even. I just know i can't terminate this pregnancy but i'm so scared it will push him away. And as far as anyone else's opinion - bollox to 'em! Your life,your choice!

Well my husband is not happy either. He is going along with it but I know I will have to shoulder the added pressure (he wouldnt agree but this is the reality). If he could just say to me dont worry we will do it together it would make all the difference to me but this is never going to happen! I work three days a week as well as an inclusion manager ata primary school which is a senior management role so its not going to be easy. I feel such a mixture of emotions including cheated because I just want to be able to enjoy the pregnancy but am worried about the amount of work and whether I can do a good job. I am due 19th April, how about you?

Cant believe that neither of your DH's are supportive!

Takes two to tango and all those other cliches!

what do they want you to do?

Not sure of dates, around 7wks i think. I feel exactly the same as you benadoli - i want to be excited, i'm over the moon to be pregnant again but he is making me feel so on edge. I started working again not long ago, plus i'm retraining so i guess that'll stop but luckily we don't need the money and i enjoy being a sahm. Are you on the April antenatal thread yet? Plenty of friendly faces and support over there

I have four children. Years ago that would have been small. I am one of SEVEN CHILDREN. My dad from what I can remember was one of THIRTEEN. (3 sets of twins)

I know someone who has six.

You will get a reaction!!!

I think I had so many because I gave up work just before number 2, therefore with another baby I did not have to stop work. I enjoyed being pregnant, took sometime to get use to not having any more

I am having baby number 6 (due Dec).
Two of my children have disabilities (one very severe) so i envoke some very disaproving reactions from people who don't know me. I have had some negative reactions from some family members too.

My husband took some time comming round to the idea of number 6, he was worried about the impact on the other children and providing for them all when they're older.
He came round eventually though and i believe the children are a blessing to each other, more so than any amount of money could ever be.

People get such a shock when i tell them i have 5 children, i've endured all sorts of comments/reactions. I just smile and say i am over the moon and incredibly proud of my gang because i am, this often disarms people from furthering voicing their dissaproval . I really believe some people are a bit jealous anyway.

Having a child should be a happy time though, and stuff anyone else it doesn't suit,you only get one life. Though i really hope your husband adjusts in time as it would just be so nice for you to have his support.

My first 4 are from a previous relationship and i had NO support from my ex when having my 4th (he hated that i was) but i am so glad i did. I had a gorgeous baby boy who is now a wonderful 6 year old who i could never imagine being without. I am so glad that i went ahead and had him despite all the grief i got from everyone at the time for having a 4th.
Anyway i really hope that given some time your husband comes round and everything works out. You have my empathy when it comes to telling family btw too, i found it incredibly difficult, Take care.

I rarely get a reaction to it being 4, more that its 4 and I'm under 30 and that theyre all still pretty young.

I've got 4. the most frequent comment i've had when I said I wouldn't be having another was 'oh is that because you finally realised what was causing it' guffaw ....yeah really witty and so original

Husband has come round, we still havent told fmily as we are waiting for the 12 week scan (in 2 weeks time)

I have an 11 month gap between ds3 and ds4 and I got "don't you have a t.v?"!! Number 4 was a shock to us but we dealt with it and you should tell everyone to bugger off! Your husband will come round, mine did. i bet he didn't mind making the baby! Soon you will start getting excited for the baby, just enjoy and don't let other peoples ignorance upset you.xxxxxxxxxxxx carly- mum to 4 lovely children and secretly wanting another!!!

Donnavito Did your name used to be 'carkeys'???

(sorry for hijack OP,congrats on DC4)

I have now had a dreadful miscarriage and would now love to tell the world that we are having baby number 4. The things we worry about eh until it is too late. So sad. Never planned 4 but now number 4 is missing.

Sorry to hear your news benandoli. I hope you feel better soon.

While I would absolutely hate the idea of having four children I would never comment on other people's decision to do so. We are all different and we often make the mistake of judging other people by our own values. I suspect those that make unhelpful comments are probaly thinking "rather you than me"

As for the "are you pleased" comment. I have congratulated three different friends of mine on becoming pregnant for a third time, only to be told that it wasn't planned and they really didn't want another one. So now I ask cautiously "are you pleased?" You can't win.

Benabdoli - sorry to hear such sad news.

So sorry to hear your news be kind to yourself x