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Original poster

Please reassure me I can cope with 4???

17 replies

benandoli · 23/08/2010 11:03

Ok so number 4 wasnt planned we spent a couple of weeks agonising about what to do and we have decided to go ahead. I do feel excited, but, how will I do it, how will I find time for them all and how will I cope with peoples reactions? How will we afford it?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dottyaboutstripes · 23/08/2010 16:07

I think you just will. Sorry if that sounds ridiculous, but people are forever asking me how do I cope and I don't know - I just do! (we have 6)

As for people's reactions - sod em!

Maybee · 23/08/2010 20:20

I'm sure you'll cope fine. Who cares at the end of the day what other people think? In any case beyond the 'ooh you'll have your hands full' which with 3 you get anyway, people probably won't give it much thought.
i'd love 4 we have 3 but dh has said enough now! spoilsport. As long as you can make ends meet on living expenses there are lots of ways of being canny with your dosh. hand me downs for a start.
Congratulations put your feet up :)and enjoy!

bottyburpthebarbarian · 23/08/2010 20:22

I have 4

Its no different to 3 - well a teeny bit more washing but practically not much different.

I found going from 2 to 3 much much harder

What age are your other DCs?

BuckBuckMcFate · 23/08/2010 20:43

Hi benandoli, I posted on your other thread, I'm so pleased that you have made a decision that you are happy with

I'm pg with unplanned no 4 too. I'm liking bottyburpthebarbarian's comment that it's no different to 3!

catbus · 23/08/2010 20:47

I am asking myself the same question: although a bit late now as am about to drop with surprise number 4. I was hesitant at first and we have a TINY house and are SKINT most of the time but hey: I reckon it's do able!

I found going from one to two really hard but 2 to 3 a breeze: here's hoping 3 to 4 will be alright!
I have an 11,7 and 2 year old: not sure what ages yours are?

Currently sitting here rocking as labour feels very imminent: am more concerned about the birth now than afterwards!

Margeaux · 23/08/2010 21:18

Catbus - how exciting!!

I have four (fourth was a suprise) and I love it!

bottyburpthebarbarian · 23/08/2010 21:21

Honestly, I found going from 2 to 3 much harder, I don't know why!

Also, by the time you already have 3 I think you're more of a slattern relaxed about things so you just don't stress the same.

I should add, I moved house 3 hours drive away when DC4 was a week old and I drove myself in my car . The midwife was most impressed lol.

Original poster

benandoli · 24/08/2010 07:56

My others are 8, 5 and 22 months. I found 1 to 2 hard but 2 to 3 has been a breeze. This is what worries me really ds1 and ds2 were such hard work, are such hard work (high energy and argue a lot). dc3 (dd1) has been a breeze and has been such a good baby, wonderful sleeper and now as a toddler never runs off and is confident and sociable. I do feel this is in a large part because by dc3 you know what you are doing and they just have to fit in with family life. However, what if dc4 is a difficult baby or has sen?

OP posts:

sorky · 24/08/2010 12:38

Ooh exciting Catbus

just make sure you get something like Tramadol (prescription) for the after pains because they're a BITCH!

My GP prescribed them the week I was due, specifically for after the birth.

Could not have coped without them, were worse than labour!

MUM2BLESS · 27/08/2010 13:29

benandoli

Congratulations!!!!

I saw your first thread on this.

I AM SO PLEASED!!!

I have four children boy,(6 on Monday) girl 9, boy 11 and boy 14.

You will be okay. I am not saying its will always be easy, I have had my challenges.

I am also a childminder of FIVE children.

I do not know it all, still learning. My advice would be

If you need help dont be afraid to ask for it from family and friends.

If it is offered accept it

Do not let what others think of the amount you have bother you, some perhaps would have liked more!

Take each day as it comes, enjoy every moment, it goes very quickly!!

My baby as stated will be 6 soon!!

I send you a BIG HUG and wish you only the very best for today onwards!!!!

MUM2BLESS · 27/08/2010 13:30

Its lone I know but I just had to send this to you!

PanicMode · 29/08/2010 11:26

I had my very surprise and very unplanned number 4 about 19 weeks ago. I will be honest and say that I struggled throughout the pregnancy, having lots of counselling and trying to get my head straight because I really didn't want another one - I felt that my hands were completely full with three.

Well, now that he's here, I wouldn't change a thing - it's not too much harder than 3 - just more washing! The older three love him to bits and so far, touch wood, it's been fine. (My older three are 6,5 and 2 -so it's not been a huge shock returning to the baby years!)

I would echo what other people have said about accepting help if it's offered - I NEVER did with my other three because I felt that it was a 'failure' on my part if I had to ask for it, but part of my counselling taught me about how to accept and offer help gratefully!

Congratulations btw too!

Original poster

benandoli · 02/09/2010 15:36

Thanks panic mode

OP posts:

Donnavito · 15/09/2010 22:47

I have 4 children and one has Cystic fibrosis and two have type one diabetes. i find it a bit hard but doable. relax and you will be fine.xxxxxxx

designergirl · 18/09/2010 11:41

I am glad to hear all these comments. I have just found out that I am pregnant with an unplanned baby no 4. My others are 6,3 and 2. I am panicking a bit as well!

PacificDogwood · 19/09/2010 16:04

I have to be honest and say that I found the last 6 months with much wanted and planned DS4 quite hard.
My others are 7,6 and insane 2 1/2 years old.

Going from 2 to 3 was ok, mainly because DS1 and 2 played with each other and left me to get on with looking after new DS3.

Now DS1 and 2 are going through a period of quite intense sibling rivlary and DS3 is a normal but demanding toddler with very intense tantrums and very prone to hitting and kicking...

I am also not a great fan of babies; much prefer the walking/talking child, so just have to take one day at a time. I know things will get better and I am very grateful that we have managed to achieve the size of family we wanted.
But I have certainly reached capacity .

Here is what gets me through at the mo:

Lowered standards - less cleaning, less homemade cooking, less grooming

Relax

Do not look too far ahead

Accept/ask for help

Reminding myself that nobody forced me to have 4 DCs, and that this mad phase will pass.

Congratulations btw!

NineTails20 · 21/09/2010 10:10

My fourth child was a surprise baby; we ended up calling my bump 'Oops' for months! 'Oops' is now a gorgeous 16 month old boy, and I'm surprised at how I'm managing with a teenager, a 'tween' and a 9 year old as well. I would say that getting your little one into some semblance of a routine is a big help. We were lucky in that he was a very good baby for the most part; he was happy to be fed, winded and changed and then put back down to sleep with no fuss.

The older children help when they can, and they've been great at being great playmates for him. I'll agree with the lowered standards, lol. I'm lucky if I get time to wash my hair or have a shower! As for housework? What's that?

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