Why do people think it's easier to have 4 of one sex?

[sorky]

When people ask how many kids and get over the initial shock of 4?!?!, we inevitably get the question of "boys or girls?"

I have 2 of each (clever aren't I ! ). However, I have 2 friends who have 4 boys each and 1 friend who has 3 boys and 1 girl.

We have noticed that the ones who have all boys get the most sympathy, worried looks and "madness" comments.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Surely 4 kids is 4 kids, why would mixed sexes appear to be easier to manage?

I have 3 boys and I think people generally believe boys are harder work than girls - I have no personal experience of raising girls so unqualified to answer but I agree with you 3 kids is 3 kids (or 4 as you said).

I also think that everyone thinks you need to have girls not sure about that one but the assumption is if you have more than 2 of one sex you are trying for the opposite so everyone gets sympathetic... apparently boys are messier, noisier, badly behaved, like I said I don't know for sure but I don't think thats the case

I got asked the other day if my youngest was a boy or girl, when I confirmed he was a boy, she said 'oh thats bad luck' my eldest (4yrs) said 'why am I bad mummy?' some people should just keep there mouth shut

I have three of the same, and do like it that way, because I am a simple soul, and it stops life (or is that just clothes shopping?) being too complicated. However, I think if I could have equal numbers of both, I'd have been happy with that too.

One thing I have found though, is that as soon as we had three (girls) all the mothers of 3+ boys I knew, were lining up to pair them all up for marriage. That did seem quite sensible to me at the time - bonkers now clearly.

I don't know about easier to manage but it is practically easier to have all the same - hand me downs/toys/books/sports etc are likely to be more similar and you only have to get used to the ways of one sex.
I think mostly people just don't really know what to say when they find out you have what they consider to be a lot of children (I have 4) and I think they whatever pops into their heads without thinking about how it comes across.

I have 4 girls and I think it's easier in such ways as handing down toys, clothes etc, also I'm not used to boys at all, my db is gay and has always been effeminate and played with our girls toys as children so my experience of boy children is very limited! If we have another and it turns out to be a boy it'll be a steep learning curve for me!

I have four boys (oldest 5 1/2, youngest 1) and if I had £1 for every look of sympathy, "you've got your hands full" etc. etc. I'd be able to go on a lovely holiday somewhere.

It drives me nuts - I didn't choose it this way but am very happy with my brood.

Boys are great and fairly uncomplicated - they just need a lot of open air and running - like puppy dogs.

I too have 4 boys and am getting all the usual comments incl. "You'll be trying for a girl next, won't you?" "Eh, actually, no!".

Their personalities are very very different and particularly when looking at DS1 and DS2 I am very glad they are both boys because their very obvious differences would otherwise have always been 'blamed' on one or the other being the other gender IYKWIM. So, DS1 just happens to be a highly strung, v bright drama queen and DS2 a much more placid, affectionate, physically gifted person.
DS4 5 months, however, is currently doing my head in with his high-need-baby antics .

And yes, there are no pink toys in this house, even the toy push chair is blue, but I have never been fond of the sea of pink for little girls and would probably have struggled with that had I had a girl.

I have a son and 3 daughters in that order and do find it easier in terms of hand me downs (although there are 6 years between each of the girls so they get bagged for a while :o).

They are 14, 12, 6 and 3 months, I sometimes feel sorry for my DS who is surrounded by pink girliness but in essence kids are kids and despite the age gap they often play together (on trampoline or DS games). DD2 loves playing with her brother (they also fight the most!) and she's quite a tough little cookie for it :o

I have bbgb and honestly think it would have been easier to have all boys but I suspect thats mainly down to my personality and also that of dds. Dont get me wrong I love her dearly I just find her very hard work. Practically I suspect 4 of one sex is easier becasue of room sharing and hand me downs.

A friend has just had a 5th boy (me jealous?) and I have already heard her being asked if theyre going to try for a 6th to get a girl. Now I know she wants a 6th but not sure she wants a girl necessarily

Someone once asked me what I had and I said 3 boys and a girl. Their reply 'oh so you finally got a girl' I took great delight in correcting her

I have four boys and get endless negative comments but they are fab. I do think it's easier, they are a gang despite big age gaps and will all play with nerf guns/whatever. We are totally geared up for boys. A girl would have thrown us right off balance :)

i have three boys & one girl ( in that order)

15, 13, 10, & 4. i wouldnt be without my

boys but have always dreamed of having a little girl. i would love her to have a sister but dont really want 5 kids or anymore boys ( that sounds mean i know)

the boys always shared everything but of course she has had everything from new.

im so grateful as i know so many people that have all boys or all girls xx

I have 3 boys and a friend has 3 girls. She gets " how lovely!" and I get " god you poor thing, must be a handful"

I do think practically though its easier with all one sex, they can share rooms, clothes, toys etc much easier, easier to entertain together etc.

I have 4 DD's and get the whole "imagine when they're teenagers/how many wedding to pay for/not want a boy?".
I smile and nod and walk away! 4 is 4, but all the same sex is easier in that clothes/toys/bedding etc can be shared.

Tashx, I feel very grateful and I have 3 boys .

Must admit, I used to get annoyed about the 'oo, all boys, handful' etc, as had I had the choice, I would have had all boys anyway . Needless to say, nowadays, I just put people straight, by gently telling them that this was the family I wanted.

I know 2 mums with 3 girls and they agree with me that it is easier with the handing down of items, bedroom sharing, etc.

It's because people think of boys as mad things tearing around all the whilse causing mayhem, chaos and destruction!

I know Tiggiwinkle on here has 5 boys and Misdee has 4 girls and is expecting a boy.

l39 and Snorris have 5 girls but each have a set of twins.

without reading the other posts my first response is that people probably think having four dcs of teh same sex is easier WRT buying clothes, sharing rooms, toys, activities, hobbies, interests etc.

now off to read the thread.

I agree. My friend had the same thoughts when trying to decide for number 5 http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/larger_families/861526-Asking-for-a-friend-does-anyone-have-5-girls?msgid=22887620#22887620

Surely the biggest advantage of all boys is never having to read a s*dding Daisy Meadows fairy book.

Further to my earlier post I'm now pregnant with dd4! My eldest is a ds and he would have loved a brother but he's 14 now so they would never have the traditional 'brother' relationship. My youngest dd will be 11 months when this one is born so for practical reasons another dd will be easier. We have all the clothes and nursery things plus now every time I buy something for dd3 I justify it by saying I'll get twice as much use out of it :)

Just to clarify I was katnkankles before name changing

Dunno if you are still watching this but you might want to speak to FiveGirliesArgh as she is expecting her 5th girl.

I have 5 dcs - b b b b and G!!! No we weren't trying for a girl - she was a lovely surprise. Boys have been fine but comments always negative! They do need lots of space and opportunities to run wild. Our girl is very girly but also a tom boy - bound to be really I suppose!! She is 4 and recently begged to buy a Bionicle lego toy like her 7 & 11 yr old brothers had so of course she got one!!! After she was born we were awash in a sea of pink for months, then I got sick of it and dressed her in blue!!! However, it IS lovely to have a girl (she is quite different from the boys in many ways) and I would love her to have a sister but won't have anymore now - dh had a vasectomy!

Barnum How old are you other boys?

My friend has got her scan on Monday to see if she is expecting a 5th boy or a girl. Her other 4 have 2 different Dad's though and I think I read that it is the sperm that chooses the sex so she might get a girl this time.

have bbbg 15,12,9+1
loved being a mom of 3 boys.
The dirty soccer gear is just my thing.
DD arrived after an 8 yr gap(surprise)
she is lovely and a great addition.
I love to see her being minded by her 3 big brothers.
When i see the 3 lads my heart nearly bursts with pride,me and my men............
Didn't matter for us what no4 was we needed new everything............

I have a girl and 2 boys and tbh I hate hate hate the puppy dog comments. It is so much bollocks. Boys are not like fucking dogs, they are as complex as girls, girls need just as much "walkies" as boys.

I imagine it is easier in a way to have 4 of one kind. Then again my boys have been known to wear dd's cast off pyjamas/tops etc. They don't care what colour they are, my ds1 likes noting more than to flit around in dd's "pretty dresses".

People will comment whatever mix you have, they just want something to say.

nappyaddict the eldest will be 23 in May, no 2 is 17 so we've got big age gaps. Yes they do all have the same dad which is another comment/question often made & makes me !!!