Anti-Semitism at school

[Wonderberry]

I tried to discuss this on AIBU but found my threads deleted (and temporarily banned).

I'm hoping this is a safe space to discuss, and I won't be banned again.

Unfortunately my daughter has encountered a shocking level of Anti-Semitism at her mainstream state comprehensive in central London.

I have raised it multiple times with school, and suggested resources and Anti-Semitism awareness training for them.

Teachers have even been showing blatant Anti-Semitism, not just the pupils.

We have also had a lot of terrorist rhetoric at school, from both pupils and teachers.

I have tried so hard to raise this. I have involved the CST and the CAA as well (they have been excellent, but they can only write to the school).

My daughter feels really alone, and I have had to collect her several times because she doesn't feel safe at school. She has even vomited due to distress.

There is not a single other Jewish child in the entire school: most of the school is Muslim. Unfortunately this has resulted in my daughter being isolated and bullied.

Anyone else experienced similar, or any advice for how to proceed?

I didn’t want to read and run and unfortunately I don’t have any advice. I just wanted to say I’m so so sorry that you and dd are going through this, it’s absolutely horrendous to hear this is going on. I had experience of antisemitism at school where I was the only Jewish child and I can only imagine what it’s like in the current climate. I’m not aware of how the school system works but perhaps there’s someone who you can escalate this to? It’s shocking but also for some reason unsurprising that it’s also coming from teachers.
I have young children and this is something I worry about a lot because we live in a non- Jewish area. I hope someone comes along with some better advice for you 💐

Move op. Move to a different area preferablyaway from London. It'll get worse. You can't change their views. There are many areas still where people don't have issues with jews as it used to be. Its off the scale now but it completely depends where you are

In your shoes I’d be looking to change school. I know you shouldn’t have to. I really feel for your daughter and it must be so difficult for you too.

Genuinely I would love to move but my job is tied to London for the foreseeable, and I can't afford to move within London. I would love for us to live in an area with a Jewish community.

I also investigated changing schools but nowhere decent had space. The few places that have space seemed to have similar issues. I cannot afford private (I would do in a heartbeat if I could)

Which part of London are you in? Can your daughter commute to a Jewish school? if they have space....I don't know what the situation is regarding that. She might prefer a long commute than putting up with that.

Horrified to hear your threads were shut down.

A Jewish school was our first choice (JCoSS) but we didn't get a place, or from the waiting list later. I would have preferred that she go to a church school compared to her current school, but we also didn't get a place there. I tried appealing as well but no success.

Unfortunately, I don't think people like to hear how bad the situation is. I offered to send Mumsnet evidence to substantiate my thread, to have it reinstated, but this was not accepted.

You may have done this but have you contacted all of the Jewish schools directly or schools which have a higher number of Jewish pupils and explained the situation you’re in? I wouldn’t go through the local authority because they won’t help you. Also I know some children who attend Jewish schools even an hour away from their homes and they are able to get a bus there, so not sure if that’s an option for you.

Have you tried reaching out to your Rabbi or other community leaders? Maybe more school places are needed.

I was also thinking that it might be worth contacting Jewish schools directly. What year is your child in? If you can’t get her into another school right now, is it an option to put her on waiting lists and home educate? I fully appreciate that that is not an option for everyone.

More school places are definitely needed: JCoSS is very oversubscribed.

Home schooling isn't an option as I work, and I don't think it would be ideal anyway. We are just about to start GCSEs so moving will soon not be possible, unfortunately.

if you can see my older posts you’ll see my daughter has had a few incidents - but doesn’t sound anything like the situation your child is facing. I’m in Scotland and my kids are both the only Jewish children in their schools (state schools - primary and secondary). They have had quite a few lovely experiences in primary school but my daughter was bullied for being Jewish in P6 and then had an awful incident just after starting high school.

my husband and I went to the primary school the day after the incident and met with the teacher, head teacher and pupil support lead person (can’t remember her title to be honest but wellbeing something maybe?) and were very, very clear that our next step was filing a police report for a hate crime. That made sure we were all on the same page. And it all got much more productive after that. Thankfully we have an amazing guidance department at her high school so the one incident has not been repeated.

however, one of the classes had months and months of discussion on the Palestinian Israeli situation and it did raise a few other minor issues. My daughter misses this class every week as she’s in a dance programme - lucky coincidence but I’d likely have requested she was removed from this class if she hadn’t already been missing it.

im so sorry this is happening. Have you been to the police yet? It’s a hate crime if it’s what it sounds like…

So sorry to hear that.

We didn't experience anything prior to October 7th,but unfortunately it became untenable following.

I had to pick my daughter up days afterwards as school said she had a stomach ache. She was genuinely unwell but it was caused by distress after hearing her Muslim classmates talking about how they wanted to kill all Jews. She has family in Israel and was worried for them at this point.

I haven't made a police report myself. In hindsight, I should have done, but I asked the school to make one themselves. The CST advised it would be better to work with the school, and I trusted them. Honestly, given the current policing in London, I have no faith that a report of Anti-Semitism would be acted on unfortunately. I reported a group with swastikas going through a Jewish area on Shabbat, and the police refused to even record it, let alone attend.

@Wonderberry - I'm so sorry. It's been actually worse for me as opposed to my daughter as I work at a University and there was a period where there were weekly marches and protests and encampments and all sorts of yelling. There's still a lot of quieter stuff like that but I've either gotten used to it or it's not as dramatic. I also have decades of resilience but would really prefer that at least has a hope of ending in my generation.

I really do encourage you to make a police report every single time. There's a lot that happens based on the number of incidents and you can make an FOI request to see them and use that information to support your case - and indeed others can too. If you are getting nowhere, I think it's time to register every single incident and gather as much evidence as you can.

But in the short term I would be getting in touch with all your local synagogues, Jewish groups, everything and getting your daughter into a new school as this is now sounds beyond fixable sadly. So trying to fix things on a societal level is one thing, but your child's wellbeing is at an immediate threat so that's the priority for sure.

I just want to say how sorry I am to hear that your dd is going through this. My dd experienced antisemitism in her primary school about 16 years ago and the head didn’t take it seriously. It took another (Non-Jewish) parent’s persistence, before she would even log a particular incident.

As others have said, have you gone back to the schools and asked to remain on their waiting lists? My dd went to a church school at secondary level and luckily had no further problems, so again it may be worth remaining on their waiting lists.

Is your daughter involved in any Jewish youth activities? This doesn’t help with the problems at school, but at least provides some balance and an opportunity to engage in something positive with other young people.

Unfortunately there will be no way to deal with this but move schools, to a Jewish school. Many offer scholarship thankfully. I left my tenured faculty position last year because the university AND police wouldn't do anything to stop swastikas being drawn on my office wall, pushed under my office door, 'jew' scrawled on my door and death threats. Kids are at a conservative Jewish school now, we're secular - but far from the only ones who have had to do that.

Is there some way we can help make things better for your daughter? Is she interested in any specific topics? Maybe amongst us all we have a way of making her feel a bit special and make her excited to learn again.

I'm so sorry, is this in the UK? I have seen that the police will not respond to Anti-Semitism either: I reported a swastika on a star of David being taken around a Jewish area on Shabbat by a group of men and was told that the police not only would not attend, but they wouldn't log it as an Anti-Semitic crime.

I can't get a Jewish school place. I wish I could. We are secular too, but she has a strong sense of cultural identity.

She isn't going in tomorrow as she is afraid to go in. I have said that I am not forcing her to.

No, we don't know of any in the area. You are right that it would be helpful for her to meet like minded peers, but her anxiety has increased due to the bullying, and I'm not sure she would feel confident enough to go.

This was in the US, but I know things are similar in the UK. It's so disappointing that a country like the UK, that used to be seen as the last safe place in Europe, has become a place of terror for the community. I wonder if there are other Jewish families in a similar situation, and a homeschool cooperative would work? I would happily volunteer to teach my subject area via zoom for something like that.

You are absolutely doing the right thing not forcing her to go on. Her safety and comfort must come first.

Thank you. I agree re safety and I have written to the school yet again, raising her feeling unsafe.

She says that pupils wear clothing with pro-terrorist insignia on non-uniform days, and will not go in for any of them as a result. This is totally understandable.

I don't have the ability to homeschool unfortunately. I wish I could send her to a Jewish school or a private school with a Jewish community, but unfortunately not an option (private school is unaffordable)

If you struggle to get into a Jewish school. I’d request a change of school and then appeal if required. The Appeal Panel are independent from the school and they do rule in favour of what is best for child and not the school.

Not sure if this will be helpful or not, and it will depend whereabouts in London you are. King Solomon’s school in Barkingside (Redbridge) has very good transport links and there are parent funded buses that come in from several areas. Lots of pupils commute there. I don’t know how subscribed they are as my kids left there a number of years ago, but it always had a nice community feel about it.
I hope your daughter is ok.

@Wonderberry - been thinking about you. Anything any better?

Also checking in on you after the crazy AIBU responses x

Thank you for checking in. This is obviously about a different child, but explains why I worry about my other child being identified as Jewish. What a world we live in.

Unfortunately, no better with this school. In fact it is worse. I don't think I can say more publicly in any detail without fear of outing myself though.

that's dreadful :( I'm so sorry to hear wonderberry 😞