Can you tell me about your sons Bar Mitzvah’s?

[Flamango]

Just starting to plan….. we aren’t in a particularly tight knit community and what was once big large families living cheek by jowl (in my parents childhoods) are now scattered families…. Lots married out/didn’t have kids so we are pretty much the first BM of this generation. We are Reform so it will all
be quite relaxed religion wise.

Service Saturday morning - invite close family to this
Saturday about 5pm, invite around 100 to a venue, buffet meal at about 630, disco from 730, carriages at 1030 ish?
On the guest list are a LOT of our friends and their kids, DH thinks too much so perhaps.

I am not sure if we need something fun for the tweens, DS has rejected a Photo Booth, maybe close up magician?

Are there any little touches etc you did that went down well at the party?
TIA

Also Reform, though wider family US/Masorti.

We had about 70 people, and they were all invited to everything. As well as family, guests included about 10 non-J school friends of ds, and several non-J families where the parents were good friends of ours and the children were friends of our children. We made a full day of it, no break in the middle.

We had service, kiddush, informal reception in the synagogue garden, magic show, catered lunch while the magician went from table to table doing close-up magic.

My other dc had similar formats to their B Mitzvas, each choosing what they wanted. One had a Manga artist run a workshop between kiddush and meal. We've also had photo booth, outdoor games, cake decorating, and balloon modelling.

Thanks, they sound fab! We have a January date so can’t really rely on outside space. What sort of venue did you use for the lunch, just a function type place?

We stayed at the synagogue. The 'receptions'/outdoor play/art workshop/magic show/etc allowed the caretaker and caterers to set up and lay tables for the meal and the during/after lunch entertainment/party.

We felt it would be less stressful for us all to stay in the one venue. Also we did not want to separate the overtly Jewish and the non-religious parts of the day.

BTW our Rabbi didn't permit sweet-throwing during the service, so we had some speechifying before cutting the birthday cake and threw sweets at the BM child then.

Non-J friends, children as well as adults, were well-impressed with the dc. And they said the services were much more fun and more interesting than church services 😄

My DS’s was 7 years ago now - can’t believe he’s nearly 20!
Anyway, we had a buffet lunch after the service in Shabbat at home for about 30. Was catered and lovely.
Party was on the Sunday in a hotel - in-house inoffensive catering (would prob get ‘stations’ now but they were only starting then). Did not want ‘bowl food’ - too informal and too many oldies!
Had a Photo Booth and a table top game thing like whack-a-mole!
Had DJ and dancer which was so worth it (the dancer def got everyone up out of their seats).
Attendees were mix of family, friends, DS’s friends (we had a few no-shows so be careful here!).

pretty sure this is how you get that 'cheek to jaw' situation - invite everybody (at least to the service) that you know, even as far back as your grandparents generation/their kids

yes there will be some who cant come/some who wont want too. but you'll be suprised aswell by people who simply know or remember hearing of you's & your kids & will have nothing else on...

dont be shy about casting a wide net basically just because you dont live in a community

*jowl 😅