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Original poster

Buying sister in law a house?

37 replies

Mumof3andahampster · 21/11/2023 04:48

Myself and my husband have a decent house it has four bedrooms, we bought it run down and spent years doing the work on it to make it what it is today. We still have a big mortgage on it which we manage although it leaves us with little cash at the end of each month.
My sister in law rents her house following a break up and has no money left from the divorce, she’s not good with money.
My parents in law want to buy a house in both my husband and SILs names for her to live in as she can’t afford to buy herself. We understand that they want to help her as she is on her own although how will this work for all involved? Could there be complications as we will be also be part owning the house? Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
Bogeyes · 21/11/2023 04:51

If he owns 50% will he be expected to pay 50% of repairs and maintainenance costs?

Original poster
Mumof3andahampster · 21/11/2023 05:14

We would never be able to afford any maintenance costs, we don’t really want to do it as it feels like it’s only beneficial for her. She will be rent / mortgage free and we still have an £850 mortgage payment every month.

OP posts:
greenacrylicpaint · 21/11/2023 05:29

depending on the age of the parents you need to look up deprivation of assets and inheritance tax rules.

plus stamp duty on second properties.

Topee · 21/11/2023 05:39

How will your husband ever benefit from it? Is the expectation that she will be able to buy him out eventually? When? How will the house be valued?

Sounds like a terrible, badly thought out idea that comes from a place of kindness.

Cumbrianlife · 21/11/2023 05:47

This has disaster written all over it.

WakingCliche · 21/11/2023 05:59

If ever sold your DH would be liable for capital gains tax on his part of the sale as not his primary residence.

Do not agree to this, the situation would only assist your SIL because as above he would be liable for maintenance. It’s not even an asset for your DH it’s a burden.

Unfortunately your DH is going to be treated unfairly because she isn’t doing so well in life. It’s happened in both mine and DH lives. DH has a sister who is not good with money, we are older now and in our fifties and quite honestly she is a bloody parasite who is still leeching off MIL.

This kind of issue is the sort where the family could well fall out but your DH would be saddled with something that’s a detriment. He needs a clear no and do not sign anything at all. It’s the kind of scenario where if they threatened to cut him out of their will or go no contact it would honestly be better than the alternative which is a financial liability.

Autieangel · 21/11/2023 06:17

Yes agree with the above. He will be 50% responsible for anything that happens to the house and when would he benefit from it? He would presumably get his share only if his sister chooses to move on or dies before him.

If they want to buy her a house they would be better keeping it in their name and charging nominal rent (used to cover maintenance) and leave it to sil as part of her share of inheritance. Or put it in sils name and leave less for her in the will.

Firebug007 · 21/11/2023 06:19

Oh no, don't agree to this, you'll end up with an asset you own but can't sell and have to pay half the cost for any repairs/work done to the house and that would only benefit his sister. It's a way to make you pay for her lifestyle 🤷‍♀️

whowhatwerewhy · 21/11/2023 06:48

I would refuse to do this . Your DH could end up with an asset he can't sell , can't rent out , would be liable for its upkeep. Also what happens should anything happen to your DH it forms part of his estate/ assets for care home fees .

Original poster
Mumof3andahampster · 21/11/2023 07:04

His parents are older almost 70 so I don’t think they want to put it in their own names as it could potentially go towards care home fees in the future. I feel like they want to help her but don’t want to upset us and that’s when they’ve decided to put the house in both their names that she would live in. I feel like as it’s not my parents I can’t say too much and my husband is very easy going, it didn’t seem right to me.

OP posts:
HerMammy · 21/11/2023 07:08

Just put it in SIL name, how would your DH ever benefit from it? He's hardly going to demand she sells up and gives him half.

Soontobe60 · 21/11/2023 07:15

The only benefit this would be to you is if you and DH divorced and his share of the house would be considered as marital assets!

Gazelda · 21/11/2023 07:23

Soontobe60 · 21/11/2023 07:15

The only benefit this would be to you is if you and DH divorced and his share of the house would be considered as marital assets!

Exactly. This would be my fear if I were SIL too. And what if she wants to move?

PosiePerkinPootleFlump · 21/11/2023 07:29

This is bonkers. I get that they want to help SIL but the attempt to say it is owned 50:50 to try to 'make it fair' doesn't work at all. She would never be able to afford to buy him out, and she is getting 100% of the value by living in it whilst he has a mortgage still.
If they really want to do similar they could split the money 50:50, you could reduce your mortgage and she could buy a smaller house with a mortgage

Holdyournoseandthinkofchocolate · 21/11/2023 07:29

Firstly. It is really clear that your in laws want to treat DH and his sister equally. That is good news from your DH’s point of view, because often on here in this situation we see the parents just buying the house entirely in the name of the sister.

so I think he could talk to his parents. Say thank you, this is very kind, I see a few issues, could we discuss some alternative scenarios?

How likely is it that DH’s parents would have that amount in their estate when they die? How strongly does DH feel he was T’s ‘fairness’ now, to protect from the unexpected. How reasonable is the sister?

Eg, parents could give most of the current gift to sister, some to DH not tied up in the house, and alter their will to leave more to him?

He probably needs to accept that he may end up being slightly disadvantaged but in the bigger picture it may be worth it.

And also ask how the sister will maintain the house. Presumably the fact she won’t need to pay rent will mean this is affordable.

rose69 · 21/11/2023 07:32

I would avoid as costs such as maintenance, lease, insurance. Will SiL also expect him to maintain the property such as minor repairs and arranging for major work.

SwedishSchnauzer · 21/11/2023 07:37

It is very much your business and choice as it effects you and your family.

what is the long term plan? Will she buy him out?

SwedishSchnauzer · 21/11/2023 07:39

Has she got kids?

surely if she needs to cut her cloth to suit and buy a garden flat instead

Original poster
Mumof3andahampster · 21/11/2023 07:42

I think you’re right in that DH’s parents are trying to be fair to both it make it look that way. I think they feel that as we have each other and two wages coming in that she is at a disadvantage. I’ve always been very good with money, look for bargains and bought lots of the materials for our house off Facebook marketplace. My husband is a carpenter so he can do lots of the work. They want her to have the same as what we have. My MIL does own their own house too so it could be an option that they just buy her a house and reduce her amount from the will. I have a good relationship with his parents so I can suggest this. SIL would probably never afford to buy him out.

OP posts:
2jacqi · 21/11/2023 07:42

Autieangel · 21/11/2023 06:17

Yes agree with the above. He will be 50% responsible for anything that happens to the house and when would he benefit from it? He would presumably get his share only if his sister chooses to move on or dies before him.

If they want to buy her a house they would be better keeping it in their name and charging nominal rent (used to cover maintenance) and leave it to sil as part of her share of inheritance. Or put it in sils name and leave less for her in the will.

?

WrongSwanson · 21/11/2023 07:43

It sounds like a nice way for them to help her out while ensuring it's fair to your DH. It's early inheritance really but his is deferred for now while SIL lives there.

You just need to speak to a good solicitor who can work up a deed of trust covering issues like when it can be sold /who covers maintenance and insurance costs etc

Original poster
Mumof3andahampster · 21/11/2023 07:44

She has 2 children that they look after a lot more than they help us but that is another story and similar reasons as we have two parents at home to share the load of childcare.

OP posts:
saraclara · 21/11/2023 07:44

If you ever moved, you would have to pay the higher rate of stamp duty, as from a legal point of view, your DH will own two homes.

Basically your DH needs to take his parents to get some legal/financial advice about their plans.

Original poster
Mumof3andahampster · 21/11/2023 07:45

Although I don’t think she will ever be in a position to sell?

OP posts:
2jacqi · 21/11/2023 07:46

do the parent own their own house of equal value to the one they are looking at for sil??? this is actually going to be very difficult for your husband to deal with in the future unless his parents put his name on the deeds. why though has she not managed to save enough for a deposit before now? has she just expected everything to be handed to her on a plate? It is not you dh's fault that sil is a single parent!! we went through this with my sis. she ended up getting the whole house and everything in it as well as all the cash and the remaining 2 sisters got 10k!!!! favouritism all the way for the golden child!!

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