Locking into a five year mortgage without my name on it

[MamaFandango]

I’m just looking for some advice and to ask if I’m overreacting/being unreasonable.

Please bear with me as this may be a long one!

Myself and my partner have been together for around seven years. Before meeting my partner I had been renting a two bedroom house for me and my son (now 9) from a previous relationship. My partner owned a small flat in a nearby town. We got pregnant with our daughter (now 4) and started looking for houses to buy. This was just as the pandemic was hitting so mortgage companies started being more strict on lending etc.

We were rammed for space in my rental and by the time we found a place we loved that was affordable my little one was 1.5. She had been sleeping in my room with me while my son had the other single bedroom. We were delighted when we got our offer accepted on our house. However, when our broker started looking into our mortgage we had a problem getting a joint one due to me having an old default on my credit file. It was for around £800 and was paid off years after but still showed a blight on my report - along with a couple of other missed payments etc.

I work full time and earn an average wage, my partner earns double what I do so the broker ran numbers and found that we would be able to get a mortgage under my partner's name. Obviously this was horrible to hear as I wanted to be on the mortgage too, both for security and just so that we jointly owned our first proper family home together.

Due to how hard it was to even get a mortgage at the time though, and not wanting to miss out on our dream home, we pushed ahead so we didn’t lose the house. I didn’t feel 100% comfortable but we were desperate for space and he said it was still our home etc.

We were put on a fixed rate and ended up having to pay 15% of the mortgage as a deposit - which was made up of £22,000 from myself and my savings and the other £32,000 was paid by my partner's father (he paid his part back when he sold his flat and got £10,000 back from a second home tax refund).

We moved into our home in September 2020 and absolutely love it here. The kids have integrated well in school and nursery. We have split the mortgage the entire time down the middle and I pay half every month and have never missed a payment. This goes into my partner's account and the mortgage comes out of that. He pays for the council tax and electric and I pay for other bills such as car insurance, road tax, Sky, internet, food for me and the kids when he is at work etc.

Our fixed rate has just ended and the mortgage has fell into a variable rate. I’ve told my partner to call them up to ask what they can offer as a fixed rate for two years to see if we can get a better offer as it’s jumped up £300 extra per month straight away. I asked him if he can find out what they can offer for two years and then after that ends the default in my credit history should be off by then (goes off in a year) and we can remortgage jointly, finally! He agreed with this the other day but this morning, ahead of an appointment this afternoon with the mortgage provider, has said he has spoken to his dad yesterday who has told him he would be best to lock into a five year fixed rate. I said that this would then block me from going on the mortgage and having that peace of mind/security for five years instead of another two just now. It already makes me feel anxious that I have paid so much into the home and don’t seem to have much legal standing as technically he is the sole owner of our home. He’s also made comments in the past such as “I’d just throw you out if you did that” and “it’s not my fault you couldn’t get a mortgage”. I've been asking him for over two years, since we got the house, to sort out a will to mention if the event of anything happening (hopefully not!) that what we have in the house goes to me and the kids. He still hasn't done this despite numerous requests.

He’s acting like I’m being unreasonable regarding him fixing himself in as the sole owner for another five years. However, I feel that we should be making these decisions as a couple/family and it shouldn’t change just because he follows whatever his dad says.

We got into an argument and he left for work. He works away so lives/works down south most of the month so it’s me and the kids at home on our own most of the time. We are also expecting another child who is due in the coming weeks.

AIBU to think we should be making these decisions together and to want to get on the mortgage together as soon as impossible? Any advice on where I stand with regards to the house too would be appreciated.

We are not married/engaged. He works full time away away and is home a third of the year. I work full time and see to the children. I’ve just went on maternity leave but plan to return back to work at the end of the year.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Also, I know I was an idiot to get a default. I’ve worked really hard over the years since to get my credit into a good place now so have been looking forward to finally getting that default dropped off my credit history.

This is not legally correct. The reason to get married is that on a split, the presumption is that both parties have a share of assets, it also makes inheritance a lot easier (this bit can be planned around, but it is unlikely he'd take all the steps required if he won't even bother to write a will). Most importantly, documents like the one you describe are difficult to make, difficult or impossible to enforce, and also why would he write one if he won't even write a will?

OP getting married doesn't have to cost you much at all. You can go to a registry office one afternoon and sort it, no problem. Have the party later, but protect yourself now, one way or another. Especially if he won't do this, you need to use some money to talk to a property lawyer about protecting your investment in the house.

This has got disaster written all over it.

You need to stop being passive. This is YOUR money and your children's future you're handing over in lump sums and monthly payments. Your boyfriend has 2 properties and you have none. Both of his mortgages are being paid by other people while he swans off for weeks at a time - he's onto a good deal isnt he!

@bumpytrumpy exactly, he has a sweet set up! Must be lovely getting everything your own way. Financially set up, girlfriend at home dealing with the children most of the time etc

Try to stop this. I wouldn’t go along with the current state of play. Financially you need some protection. Also his dad always stick his nose in?

So you’re paying half HIS mortgage and you put in a large lump sum as a deposit. You need your name on the deeds and as he’s looking for a new fix this is the ideal time to get your name on the mortgage. Don’t listen if he says it will cost x more a month or he won’t be able to get a good deal with you named on the mortgage or anything like that. There must be a broker out there who can make this work.
Be proactive, this is really serious.

As soon as we get the ‘he’s a great dad’ post I know he’s a wrong ‘un.

You need your name on the deeds.

It’s been over 2 years so you should be ok getting your name on the mortgage too.

See a solicitor asap. A deed of trust may be an option.

Most lenders wont allow you on the deeds if you're not also a mortgage holder

However I suspect that you could have got a mortgage with you both if you had gone to different brokers, it might cost a bit more initially but it means you are properly a joint owner/joint debtor

Have you checked recently whether you can borrow?

Get to a lawyer now. Run, don't walk.

As you aren't married your share of the deposit should have been protected as a proportion of the property value during the buying process, by the solicitor.

As you provided money towards the deposit, the solicitor must have asked you to sign a form saying it was a gift and you had no legal interestin the property? That would have been part of the money laundering checks made by the solicitor. Your DP has behaved very badly here.