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Separate or joint financial advice?

6 replies

JoyceMeadowcroft1 · 08/01/2023 21:28

As is probably obvious from this post - I am not financially literate and so would like advice as to whether it makes sense for each person within a couple to seek financial advice independently of each other, or if financial advisors need to work with couples together. The back story is....

My partner and I have been in a relationship for about 30 years (not married). We have 4 children and an OK but not great relationship. We are both named on an interest only mortgage that has 10 years remaining - joint tenants.
I am a few years older than him so when we met my career/ earnings were better than his. I also had a flat that I sold and used the £100K profit I made from doing it up as a deposit for our current house. Due to house inflation, our mortgage is currently around 30% loan to value.
During the 10 years that our children were young/primary school aged, I worked part time and my career progression stalled. My partner paid the mortgage and the vast bulk of household expenditure.
When I returned to work full time, about 10 years ago, my partner decided he wanted a change of career. He gave up his job and started his own business. Since this time, he has made very little profit and he fluctuates between being very pessimistic, suggesting he will never make any money, to being very optimistic about growing it and selling it on for a profit that will cover the past 10 years loss of income, pay off the mortgage in full and provide a good pension. This isn't something that I have belief in.
In the past 10 years, I have progressed my career, my salary has grown and I have worked on building up savings to pay off half of the lump sum borrowed for the mortgage and to grow a decent pension. This has stalled due to recent inflation and increase mortgage rates. The amount I save and top up my pension are now minimal. If my partner paid 50% towards household expenses and the mortgage, I would be able to continue as before. As a result, I have told him that he can no longer continue as before and he needs to bring in an income. In response to this, he thinks we need to see a financial advisor.

I am not sure about this. He has zero income, he does have a small pension pot, but being a pension - that is tied up. He has no savings. I am the only one with an income, or savings. I feel uneasy about 'us' consulting a financial advisor, I am not sure that I want my partner having a say in what to do with my income, pension and savings. What I want it him to contribute financially.
I am not worried about paying more than 50% towards the house and household expenses, and/or him being a lower earner/ contributor going forward- what I do mind is him having a say about what I do with the money I earn/ how it is invested etc. For this reason, I'd rather see a financial advisor independently.
What do others think/ recommend?

OP posts:
nannynick · 09/01/2023 08:00

He has zero income, how will he pay for financial advice which could be £3000+? The days of free financial advice with the adviser making money from pushing expensive products paying the adviser commission is in the past.

Perhaps he could listen to financial podcasts, read books, learn that way about finances, plus marketing and business podcasts & books so he can make money from his business. Could then get really interested in it and pay for tools used by financial advisers to do planning / cash flow modelling.

JoyceMeadowcroft1 · 09/01/2023 11:30

I think he thinks I will pay for the advice for us!
My view is that he should get job/career/ business coaching to work on his income. I could seek financial advice, but I don't see where he fits with this.
The issue is that we have a shared asset and shared debt

OP posts:
RandomPerson42 · 09/01/2023 19:22

He has no concrete plans to contribute so he simply needs to get a job and pursue his business ideas in his spare time. He has had at least 8 years more than he should have to make his business a success.

A financial advisor will not be able to give any meaningful advice in your situation. He is probably hoping the financial advisor will suggest equity withdrawal or something equally daft.

Sunseed · 09/01/2023 19:31

I'm a financial adviser and I am happy to work with individuals or with couples. It depends on what problem I'm being asked to help with. Where people are financially interdependent on each other it makes sense for both to be involved as they may have different ideas about what they want to achieve and I can try to facilitate that discussion, but it doesn't have to include both people.

From what you've described it sounds like you are already doing the right things with regard to your own personal finances and he needs to pull his weight.

JoyceMeadowcroft1 · 09/01/2023 21:53

Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to hear your advice.

OP posts:
LadyLapsang · 20/02/2023 18:19

Can you start with some basic things such as both checking your state pension projections and, if you are comfortable, sharing information on your savings and investments and debt.

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