Conceiving successfully without um orgasm?

[Lavendar01]

Been ttc for 4 years now no luck, ivf failed too. There are some concerns around egg and sperm quality but we have no choice but to trust that it can still happen naturally.

However i must admit we only do it around the week we "think" i am ovulating, my cycles are quite regular perhaps a few in the year that are not. And even the few times we try, we struggle, especially me I can't orgasm and have read this happens to push the sperm into the cervix.

When you conceived, did you orgasm at all, and if so, was it before or after partner ejaculated?

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Please do not give whether or not you orgasm another thought with regards to TTC. If it was necessary then nature would make sure it happened every time. I heard this question on a podcast once and someone said 'if women had to orgasm to conceive, the human race would have died out'. I understand worrying about everything and trying to control things, I think we all do that, but I honestly don't think this could ever be the difference between conceiving or not, and if anything, from memory, women going first would potentially be less beneficial as it can slightly alter the pH (this is a random nugget of info from years ago so don't quote me on this. Again I can't imagine it actually making a difference). One thing I would recommend though is not just following the calendar, look up fertility awareness method if you haven't for signs of ovulation because even in a regular cycle it could vary. Or try three months of taking your temperature or ovulation strips for a bit more insight. And the other thing is that you should use sperm that is 2-5 days old (I'd aim for 2-3 days unless a sperm analysis has given insight into why it needs to be different) so if you aren't trying earlier in the cycle then your husband should clear it in other ways. And of course there are various supplements and lifestyle habits that might help, It starts with the egg is a good one but also look into ways to improve sperm quality. My husband and I both took ubiquinol (the expensive version not ubiquinone/coq10) but it is a financial commitment and of course nobody can guarantee results, although my husband's analysis did improve quite a bit (but that was alongside a fertility diet, almost no alcohol, avoiding anything warm on his lap etc so hard to tell) but obviously always do your own research on supplements.