Should I check in with a friend on TTC updates?

[horchatatresleches]

A close friend mentioned about a year ago that she and her partner were trying for a baby and since then, nothing. We’re not in daily contact because we’re on opposite ends of the country but we’re still close. We were bridesmaids for each other and lived together for years. We see each other a few times a year.

I don’t want her to feel like I’ve forgotten or stopped caring, but I also don’t want to bring it up if it’s a sore subject right now. Would it be better to gently ask how things are going next time we’re together, or just wait for her to bring it up herself if she wants to talk about it?

That’s a really tough one. It feels like a cop out answer but it will differ person to person.

I was someone who didn’t really want to talk about it much, but this just meant I told the friends I was comfortable chatting with. I’d have been happy for those I’d told to bring it up but also not upset if they didn’t!

however I imagine there’d be people who would actively want it and those that wouldn’t.

perhaps if you know your friend well enough you can call her and ask without asking if that makes sense 🤣
Id say try not to frame it as wanting an update as to some that could feel like prying or being nosy. Frame it asa question about her/their welfare xx

I really wouldn’t. You would be backing her into a corner to either admit she was having difficulties or maybe experiencing pregnancy loss .. or to lie.

My friend knew I was TTC and asked how it was going after a while (it wasn’t happening). I didn’t want people to know about my fertility struggles because I felt it would put even more pressure on me TTC so I ended up lying to her saying we had paused TTC.. but it didn’t make me feel good being put in that position and lying.