Anyone in the same boat? Secondary infertility, failed IVF round & trying to move on

[HM2024]

We are so lucky to have our DD. After trying for a sibling for her for two years (without a single BFP), we decided to give IVF a bash with very low expectations due to my age/AMH. We found out a few months ago it didn't work and the plan was always to just do one round. So now it's time to try to just move on and accept that it isn't going to happen for us.

I feel in a bit of a 'niche'. There's no podcasts or people chatting on socials about this position. And I know no one in the same position as me. I had told a few people about IVF and they were supportive but I guess have assumed I'd just move on after it didn't work. They can't relate.

Just wondering if anyone is in the same boat, and how you're finding it, moving forward?

In a very similar position!

spent the last 13 months doing multiply rounds of ivf and one was a miscarriage at 9 weeks and more recently our last transfer failing to implant. We’re now moving on from IVF as have spent 30,000 and feel like it’ll never work and don’t want to keep wasting money with no success! Thankful to have my child, but I just need to grieve this now, and be able to move on and find piece in being a family of 3!

@Peonies94 Thank you for replying. It's really nice to hear from someone in a similar position.

Sounds like you have had a rough time. The MC at 9 weeks must have been awful. We got as far as transferring one high quality embryo and it didn't stick. I was thinking at the time that as you pass each stage/milestone it is just that bit more cruel when it gets taken away.

It is a weird grief to process. I'm largely having more 'fine' days now (about 2 months on) but occasionally something will slap me in the face, like bumping into a friend I've been out of touch with for a year and seeing her with a huge bump. Or trying to behave like a normal friend would for my close pregnant friend. Trying to come to terms with the lack of hope.

How are you doing with it all?

@HM2024 its tough at times isn’t it, its the second pregnancy announcements or seeing siblings play together that really hits me when out and about my little one!
We’ve done 3 transfers our latest was 2 wwwks ago, but our miscarriage was January time! I think I started accepting it in January so things are a little easier! Trying to look for and enjoy the benefits of only one! It’s definitely really hard at times but has made me even more thankful for my little one!