First donor egg ICSI transfer failed and feeling scared to continue

[LimeBird]

Hi all,
I’ve not been on here in a while but found it really helpful in the past, so thought I’d try again.

Just finished my first ICSI round with donor eggs, following 4 rounds with my own eggs (which didn’t work). The first transfer with the donor egg embryo was a 5AA ‘amazing looking’ (their words) embryo and my lining was textbook. I was so excited and hopeful for first time in years. I really thought donor eggs were the solution and it took me so long to get to a place of acceptance of that. But it didn’t take and now I’m so down.

We have 3 more embryos, of lesser quality, frozen but are running out of funds as we’ve spent so much on this. I’m scared to try again as I have a horrible feeling we might transfer each of the ones left and still end up with nothing to show for it, and be even more depressed and broke.

Just looking for any advice from people who’ve gone through similar. Thank you x

Not a donor egg, but my beautiful, amazing 5AA embryo didn't take. My children came from B graded embryos. Grading isn't everything!

Hi, I’m sorry you’re going through this. If your clinic and doctor are experienced in IVF with donor eggs, a second transfer can sometimes have a higher chance of success than the first. If you’re unsure about your current clinic, it may be worth seeking a second opinion.
A friend of mine, when choosing her clinic, consulted the team behind the egg donation friends site—they have a good understanding of different clinics and their specializations. Hope this helps a little.

I followed an anti-inflammatory protocol used by Dr Kilz at CNY fertility. He’s not my dr and I haven’t consulted with them but it is posted on their website. The medications were able to be sourced independently online. I did it on my own without telling any drs because I was personally satisfied that it was harmless and wouldn’t hurt but was likely to help. My first donor egg embryo transfer stuck and I’m 5 weeks pregnant. It’s my personal ethos for myself that I don’t always trust drs to cover all the bases and I need to be proactive for myself. I credit this with my first transfer being successful. It’s basically just H1 and H2 antihistamines (cetirazine and famotidine) which are OTC and low dose prednisone. It helps the body accept the embryo.

Sorry for the delay in replying, I didn’t get email notifications that I had replies!

Thank you @2mumlife that’s great to hear, and I hope I’m as lucky with the lower graded ones at some point 🙏

thank you @flippap I might try and reach out to them then- my clinic is in Bristol and has a good reputation but we have had some issues with them over the years. It’s hard to know who to trust isn’t it with your remaining opportunities!

Ah thanks @Applewisp thats really interesting- I’ll have a look at that. I’m often on cetirazine anyway for hayfever 😂 congratulations on your pregnancy! Xx

Thank you for these useful tips!

How are you getting on @LimeBird ?

Hi @GingerFox2021 - how spooky I hadn’t been on here in a while and was just asking AI for advice (on coping with infertility related things!) and one of the sources linked to Mumsnet, then I randomly saw my old thread had updated! 😮

I’m not having a great time of it at the moment, my 2nd donor egg frozen transfer was planned for last month and they cancelled at the last minute due to me being unwell. Was so gutted as was ready and had started drugs etc. So I tried to get over that and prep for this month, and they’ve said that as I am still not 100% they are recommending to postpone this cycle too 🙁 finding it so hard to deal with as next month will probably be right before Xmas and not sure I want the treatment that close to all the Xmas stress. Time just marches on and I’m 43 soon- started TTC nearly 5 years ago now and feel so old to be starting as a parent (if I ever even get the chance that is).

Sorry that was a long answer, I hope it helps someone! How are you doing? Are you doing /planning any treatment? Hope you’re having more luck!
xx

@LimeBird hi. Just wanted to wish not to lose your hope. I have already had my treatments and my frozen transfer was successful from the 3rd time. The whole process was stressful, I changed clinics, I didn’t have much hope, although wanted to believe I’ll succeed. I had ovarian cysts etc and because of that my treatments were delayed. My both 4AA embryos didn’t take, I was successful with 3AA. Had issues with progesterone on transfer day etc, so was not sure about anything. But I wanted to try and have peace in my head that I did all I could. I started all this at 43, gave birth at 45.

Hi @GingerFox2021 thank you so much, that’s so kind of you to message and share your experience, it really gives me some hope when I don’t have much at the moment! Like you I try to believe it might work at some point and I have a limit of where I’ll feel like I’ve done ‘enough’ if it doesn’t work. I’m glad that you got there after what sounds like a stressful time! That’s also so reassuring that you have done this at a similar age to me, I hope you’ve found it ok! X