IVF and work

[CalmHam]

Hi everyone, I’m looking for a bit of advice.
We’re planning to start IVF next month after having 3 rounds of stimulated IUI. I found the first cycle quite tough, mainly due to anxiety and not knowing what to expect, but the second and third were much more manageable as I tried to reduce stress and listen to my body.
I haven’t told work about any of this so far—I’ve just worked around appointments and taken annual leave where needed. I have checked our policy and it says I can have up to 3 days’ paid leave per cycle for fertility treatment, but that would mean informing work.
I’m aware IVF is likely to be more intense than IUI, and I really want to give it the best chance. For context, I have a good sickness allowance (6 months full pay) and I’ve barely used any of it in the past.
I guess I’m just wondering what others have done in this situation—did you tell your employer or try to manage it privately? Also, how manageable did you find IVF alongside work?
I should add that I’m currently covering the workload of three people due to retirement, maternity leave, and a recruitment freeze, which is adding a bit of pressure.
Any advice or experiences would be really appreciated 🤍

I think this depends on a number of factors - your boss (do they stress you, do they have empathy?). I personally didn’t tell work - my first cycle it was v busy and stressful, 2nd cycle things were a lot quieter and I had no stress / the second round worked. I’m also very lucky that I work from home and have a role where I have stakeholders globally so I just managed my calendar and took the egg collection and transfer day as annual leave. We didn’t have a fertility policy.
from a Stims perspective, I was lucky I had no side effects and also I was pain free after egg collection but this can be different for other folks - esp if they have high AMH

I told my manager who was hugely supportive especially as my job is in the NHS and I have appointments booked in. I always tried to get the earliest morning IVF appointments where possible and then go on straight to work. But sometimes you don't know much in advance if you need to be back in the next day or even sometimes egg collection you may only have a couple of days notice depending on how the follicles are growing. I was able to manage my diary and take leave around it. But I think without my managers support (and feeling like I had 'permission' to work more flexibly) I'd have really struggled around work appointments. But many people manage IVF without telling work. It's all very individual.

Best of luck with IVF - personally for me the physical side of things was fine but it was the emotional side that got to me. Thankfully I now have a beautiful 7 month old, well worth the journey 🥰 just be kind to yourself!

Edit: posted twice!

Thank you for your response. I work for the nhs too. My manager isnt particularly supportive shes fairly new doesnt have kids and isnt material at all. I would say she doesn't really listen so ive told her Im on annual leave put it in my dairy (and shes approved it) for example and she doesn't listen and then messages me to ask why im not at a meeting......even though already told her. Shes not horrible but I cant imagine her paying much attention. ...thats why im leaning more towards sick then there's no confusion.....although im sure in the 2ww it would better to be distracted by work. ...so not sure what to do. How many scans I am likely to have before egg retrieval? My amh is 24 . Im working about the emotional side as ive been really down when my period comes or when iui failed.
Thank you

I was upfront with my boss as I work im
policing and felt honesty was the best policy as I would need to be restricted from the transfer date. As it happened the hospital gave me a sick note for the two week wait. It’s not essential but for me it was a great help and I felt I needed it. Work were really supportive through the whole process and subsequent pregnancy

I am very lucky that my workplace gives ten days fertility leave and my manager (and his manager) are super supportive so I’ve been very honest with them throughout my cycle. I worked through my first cycle and honestly I’d never do it again. I was very naive going into it about how anxious I’d be. I’d have honestly been no use at work as I was so so nervous, particularly during the 5 day wait after egg collection. I was literally in cold sweats waiting for the calls from the clinic.

i would say if your manager will forget or not be supportive then don’t bother telling them. This will be a huge thing in your life and her not getting that would probably be hurtful. I think just take sick leave and go from there.