Absolutely spiralling 5dp5dt

[PepperPot88]

So this is my 6th transfer. But I’m actually on embryo 7 because one didn’t make it through defrosting. Before I start, I know that I am behaving like a lunatic.

I tested this morning. Trigger warning- picture below. This happened last time and then faded away around 5 weeks pregnant. I am petrified that this isn’t true and I’ll never make it through a pregnancy. Age is not on my side (37). I’ve also read on here that someone was told by the doctors that if the embryo implants too early then it likely won’t work anyway!

Also, it was a 5bc embryo. My last one on the nhs before I have to try and fund it myself. I am on lots more supplements/probiotics/inofolic alpha. The problem is that I don’t know how I’m going to function in every day life whilst obsessing with this. I’m a primary school teacher. I love keeping busy but obviously there is a lot of stress and I do have violent children. I went into work on Wednesday this week after my transfer and I can feel myself not being as hands on and trying to not get stressed at all which is a difficult task when there are vulnerable little people around that require a lot of attention.

I don’t know the point of this post. Maybe a hand hold and some reassurance because at the minute I don’t believe the line and I’m also worrying about losing it and that I’m going to be a sh*t teacher now.

Thank you

Sending you a handhold! I completely understand why you are feeling so anxious. Previous losses or failed transfers don't mean the same is going to happen again, as hard as that is too believe! I am sure you are a wonderful teacher and will continue to be while still looking after yourself. Don't worry about the grading, I think that's more to do with the likelihood of thawing well, and they wouldn't be freezing BCs routinely if they weren't likely to lead to healthy babies. So many BC kids running around!!! Keeping my fingers crossed that this progresses well!!!

@Waitingforday6

I think I need someone like you following me round for the next few weeks. Thank you for the reassurance.

Congratulations. I’m spiralling too, but for the opposite reason. Bright white at 5dp5dt. I am heartbroken. This IVF journey is hell!

This is a different embryo and a different pregnancy and your past doesn't predict your future - this was a little mantra I have used to get me through my latest round and pregnancy after a history pf bfns and loss.

Also, don't be afraid to take some time off sick if you need it for your mental health. I'm sure your GP would certify it and you shouldn't feel guilty to use it - it sounds like you are really struggling.

Best of luck!

@PlanBFertility26 I’m so sorry! Solidarity 100%. I feel like I recognise your username. I’ve changed my username after previous losses. Wanted to be a different person. How did transfer go on the actual day?

thank you @FancyGoose xx

@PepperPot88 - it went perfectly. So many cramps today, one part of me hoping it means something.

It may have been me who said about my consultant said if implant early, not always a good thing but pffftt so many get 5d positives and OK! I’m sure they say things to make you feel better

It’s so hard, take it 1 day at a time. I’m also a teacher and I found the busy days a welcome distraction xx

That tests looks really good and clear. Try to tell yourself that for right now you are pregnant and thats all you need to worry about for right now.

Today was my official test day.

Congratulations ❤️

That is absolutely amazing. Congratulations. So far that is great news.

Thank you! I don’t quite know what to do with myself now. I’ve got my first scan on 31st March which seems like a lifetime away!

Thats not far away. Stay busy until then.

Hello @PepperPot88

Congratulations on your pregnancy! You’ve done brilliantly and been incredibly resilient to get to this point. That baby will take ages to even get to one centimetre. It’s tucked up and cosy inside.

You’re a great teacher - the kids can’t impact the pregnancy at the minute but if you need to pull back a little that’s fine too. All across the world women are falling pregnant and dealing with all sorts of stressful situations. You cannot control what happens now. That’s tough. But you have come further than before and are pregnant with a lovely baby.

Things get more certain week by week. For now one day at a time. Keep a record of good things and look after yourself.

@FET2026 Thanks, I needed to hear that!

How’s your IVF journey going? I’m only presuming because of your username.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. Congratulations on the positive test.on official test day and early strong positive is a good sign!

I just wanted to pick up on what you said about early implantation in case it is still causing anxiety - or causes anxiety to anyone else. There is no such thing as too early implantation, and even very early, there is a positive correlation between HCG levels and success. Whatever that mumsnetter said about early implantation is absolute bollocks. Late implementation is a huge risk factor for loss, early is a good sign.

After a long time & false starts, very gratefully pregnant with no 4. Once we got into the swing of it it was surprisingly great.

Amazing to hear! I hope it all goes smoothly for you xx