Sibling round

[2mumlife]

Hi there,

Used to be part of a different thread for sibling round, but thought I'd start a new thread to see if there was anyone else considering a sibling round this year?

Thinking about it! I'd put off considering it until 'next year' but now it IS next year so I suddenly feel like we should crack on! I'm strongly pro, DH is on the fence. We have 3 frozen embryos but haven't done a FET before so that feels new and unknown. What does a sibling round look like for you?

haha I know that feeling of putting it off until the future and then it is the future!

We've been very fortunate - we have a 3yr old and 1yr old, both from FETs. We have 1 frozen embryo left. We always wanted 2 so going for a sibling the first time was an easier decision (and happened first time for us).

But I've basically known since I was pregnant with our youngest that I really didn't feel I could destory our last embryo. And I can't get over the idea of never being pregnant again. I think knowing we had 1 embryo remaining meant I've always been holding on to the idea of just 1 more. DW was 2 and through at first, but then came round to the idea after our baby was born (at about the point where I was thinking oh heck maybe 2 is plenty! 😂). DW has been in a place of "if you're done thats ok with me, if you want to do the last embryo thats ok with me, but sooner rather than later". She turned 40 last year, and has really said that she does not want to be 42 with a newborn.

Its a funny phase of life at the moment. With only 1 embryo left I think our chances are fairly low, and I think we both feel like we'd just like to know if we're done with babies or not at this stage. I've made the leap and contacted the clinic to see what the wait times are like. They've said they want to do an updated internal scan / ovarian assessment first, so I've booked that in for Feb.

In terms of doing a FET - I much prefer them to a fresh transfer! Much less stress physically and mentally. I've done medicated FETs both times.

It sounds like you’re going for it! In your shoes I’d do the same. 3 would be lovely!

It might be easier as you’ve already got two and a possible 3rd is more of a roll of the dice (?) but the only thing I’d caution is it can be hard to stop once you’ve committed to go for another and the hope- failure cycle can be really tough.

We have one child and then it took multiple transfers and a whole new fresh round to have a viable pregnancy (currently pregnant). I desperately wanted another child and would’ve found it really hard to call it a day without having another (despite being beyond happy and grateful for our first) but know that was a very real possibility as it either happens or it doesn’t and probably would’ve caused us a lot more heartache and debt.

Theres never a guarantee for a positive outcome so I do think there’s something to be said for being able to stop ivf on your own terms/ quitting while you’re ahead as you can’t put pandora back in the box so to speak and can understand why people make that choice.

But even saying all that I still think it’s worth taking that roll of the dice. You’ve been lucky already and could well be again (I know someone with 3 from one round so it’s not unheard of). It sounds like you and your wife are on the same page which is great too. Sometimes it just feels like an itch you have to scratch and what will be will be. Sending lots of luck!

Yes we are. We have one embryo left. We have an 8 year old and 3 year old. As it is only the one embryo it seems a waste to not use it. Just need to finish off saving for the FET! It was tempting to wait until the three year old starts school but we are getting older and we only paid for a years storage this time.

@Strawberrryfields Congrats on the pregnancy. Hope it all goes smoothly for you after a difficult journey for a sibling. When we were trying for a second, I think we would have done a further egg collection round, though to be honest very reluctantly on my side. When we started trying I was in a place that I was happy to do the frozen transfers but didn’t feel i was up to another egg collection again. It’s actually even more clear cut this time - I wouldn’t do another egg collection at all at this stage. Seeing how I feel about destroying an embryo I wouldn’t want to try to make any more through egg collection and have any frozen again. We do actually still have some donor sperm but I don’t even think I’d do IUI again to be honest either. I feel quite at peace that we give it 1 last shot and if it works I welcome that. And if it doesn’t there will be some sadness but also a lot of closure I hope.

@Coffeeandbooks88 Are both your children from IVF? Love hearing someone else in the same position if a last embryo. How do you find the age gap between your kids? Our small age gap has been challenging but it’s also given a lot of opportunities (Me and baby got to spend a lot more time with our eldest whilst on mat leave for instance, the kids see each other at nursery now etc). Do you have ideas about timings at all?

@2mumlife thank you it is been tough but hopeful for a new chapter. That’s makes sense about not wanting to create more than you’d potentially use with how you feel now.

It sounds like you’re in a good place with it where you could find peace with either outcome. Lots of luck with your next steps 🤞

@2mumlife Yes they are both IVF and from the same batch (although my son was an ICSI embryo and daughter an IVF). The gap wasn't intentional really. I had a miscarriage from one FET and then COVID shut the clinics just after that. I wasn't planning another go but I had a miscarriage after a natural pregnancy so we decided to go for it but obviously with two children it takes longer to save. 😬 I actually much prefer a bigger gap. I could take the youngest to baby groups whilst the oldest to school etc. I suppose a smaller gap is better in some ways as you get the baby stuff over and done with quicker. I don't think I could cope with a small gap if I am being honest.

@Strawberrryfields Yesh I think we’ve reached a fairly good place mentally with it all. I think the hardest thing is right now I just don’t think of my youngest as the last, so there will be some sadness if it turns out he is.

@Coffeeandbooks88 I’m sorry to hear about your miscarriages, that can’t have been easy. And understand about Covid - my first we were just about to get started when Covid hit and had a delay, and then she took a long time to conceive (4 failed IUIs before we moved on to IVF, first egg collection was awful). We froze 3 embryos from 2nd round (freeze all cycle because ironically for a poor responder they said my amh was too high for a fresh transfer 🙄). Toddler and baby were embryo 1 and 2 so I feel like we’d be very lucky to get a third. It’s funy with age gaps isn’t it? I think because my kids are just awful sleepers I just feel like might as well do all the newborn stuff now. And it’s easier with toys and things as they can share a lot of the same stuff really particularly as youngest gets bigger. I can also understand the appeal of just getting to focus on baby and have kids older enough they’re at school, clubs etc and entertain themselves more

We've had the stomach flu going round our house this week, and I'm curled up on the sofa today, and its made me think how hellish going through the first trimester again would be 😨anyone wish they could just skip that bit? 😂

I'm going in to get an ultrasound scan done next week (clinic said I needed it to check everything looks ok because I've given birth?) and then we have consultation. Its not the with consultant I prefer but hoping it'll be straight forward as I just want them to agree to do the same protocol we did for my successful transfers.

Feel frustrated as my first postnatal period came in December and I've still not had another one :( Had a ultrasound scan this week and got the all clear that uterus etc all looks normal after my last birth, and we saw consultant who gave go ahead to do a FET HRT cycle. Our last embryo isn;t tested and is a 5C she said, but she seemed positive because we've had success with other embryos from that cohort so we'll see. All feels very familiar. She's given go ahead for nurses to check what tests etc might be out of date and need redone and to get booked in to do consents etc so I'm hoping my cycle settles itself back down in the meantime.

How is everyone else doing?

Can I join please? It's early days for us but have been thinking about this a lot! We have our baby from our first round of IVF and have 1 embryo left in storage. Considering a fresh round to try and get some more embryos due to my age. It's so nice to hear that people have had success with the same batch of embryos though! I was thinking our chance of success would be low with our frozen one as our fresh was successful and we only got 2 embryos from that round.
We've booked a consultation in for March to discuss our options.

I am waiting until about May to make the call so that the treatment is roughly near the school holidays so my husband can help with my other children. Probably not a good time right now with bugs etc anyway!

@Magix86 IMO if you think you’d be happy with 2 children, definitely do the frozen transfer first. It’s a lot of time, money etc to do an egg collection if you might have a viable embryo in the freezer. It’s not going to make a huge time difference to give the frozen am ego a go first 🤞

@Coffeeandbooks88 we definitely seem to be having a spate of illness here!

Hey! Hope it’s ok to join as we are hoping to do a transfer for a sibling now our son is 17 mths! We actually have embryos frozen up in Dundee but the wait time is quite long so we decided to go for another new cycle in Greece! Just back and waiting to here the outcome as it was a freeze all 🙏

where is everyone else at? @2mumlife hiw are you? Have you decided when you might transfer?

@Ellenn oh wow for going to Greece! How did you find the travel and coordinating everything?

We’re actually day 6 of a FET cycle 😮 it’s all been a bit faster than I expected actually, but there is basically no wait time for a FET with our clinic and I thought we were going to need to induce a bleed but the period arrived on Monday so they said we were good to go. Does feel a bit difficult processing that this is the last go and if it doesn’t stick then our family is complete. Half of me feels prepared for that and the other half really doesnt.

Also gave myself a bit of a panic as I realised today that they’ve not prescribed lubion injections before transfer this time just the pessseries so going to message the clinic tomorrow and just ask about that.

Keeping fingers crossed for lots to freeze for you. When will you plan to do a FET @Ellenn ?

@2mumlife so exciting!!!! Eeeek! Definitely a chance it might work! Would you go through another round if it didn’t?

its gone really well actually just waiting on day 5 results, it was freeze all as my ovaries went a bit mental as per usual! Hoping we get a few embryos. Currently planning FET in May if all goes well to give my body a chance to recover as it has been quite hard going this cycle and ovaries are still quite angry about the situation 🙈

the dreaded lubion lol I’m not looking forward to having to pay for it this time haha it gives you such bruising!

@2mumlifegood luck this month!! We've just had our clinic meeting to make a plan and hope to do a FET next month 😱🤯 I'm just hoping my period is regular enough that I can trust it to cooperate. We're doing a natural cycle as I'm still breastfeeding.

@Ellenn Sorry your ovaries are unhappy. Transfer in May sounds good! Will you travel over yourself or can your partner go as well?

Had a chat with the clinic about the Lubion and they’ve changed protocol - so about a year ago they said they upped the vaginal progesterone and ditched the pre-transfer lubion as research showed no statistical difference in outcomes. Though if I wanted the lubion they also said that’s fine. Had a bit of back and forth in my mind about it all, and about whether we should do the lubion to ensure having no regrets if it doesn’t work, but we’ve decided to go ahead with clinics plan not to use the lubion after looking at some of the research studies myself.

Had my first lining scan today and at 9mm (thank you high does estradiol 😂) so transfer will be Thursday 😮🤞

@taytay2020 Exciting to have a plan! Also breastfeeding here. I breastfed through a medicated FET last time as well so feel comfortable doing that and not noticed any dip in supple last time or this time so far 🤞. Aversions were awful once I was pregnant last time but will deal with that if we’re lucky enough that it sticks 🤞

@EllennI hope your 5 day results were good 🤞 We lost so many at this stage on both our ICSI cycles so I know the stress!
@2mumlifetoday's the day! I hope your transfer goes well/went well!
I did some ovulation tests this month as a trial run for next month and quickly realised I'm going to have to be completely obsessed with it, otherwise I'll forget and accidentally wee into the loo not into a cup 😂 So I'm glad I did the trial run, and also that I checked the results at different times of day (fmu definitely doesn't show a positive for me). Now I'm in the 2ww technically, before we can start our FET in April. I'm honestly so excited to get started!

Our last little embaby defrosted and was transferred earlier today. Very weird thinking this little embryo was frozen back in 2021 and feel a bit like whatever happens its been predestined for years essentially.

Its strange going back to the same clinic over several years. They have introduced new 'goodybags' after transfer. Feels really quite odd being given a bag with jammie dodgers, hand cream and a pineapple pin. I sort of get its a little encouragement for self care, but I do wonder whether those going back for multiple transfers would begin to resent those little gift bags over time? I'm not sure.

They've also changed how long they want you to wait! They always used to test on 10dp5dt and now they've changed it to 13dp5dt which would make my OTD wedensday 8th. Lots of debate with the wife whether we test on day 10 or 13. But my superstition is to wait until OTD, so a longer wait it is I guess. They also didn't give a pregnancy test, and the only 1 we have in the house is a CB digital that expired in 2024 😶I think I'm going to wait and see if I actually make it to OTD before buying any more tests though.

Honestly, can't beleive they've extended the OTD. I think its because they are really cutting back on going hcg tests, so less CPs are going to be picked up I guess

@taytay2020 Good idea to trial the ovulation sticks. Interesting that FMU wasn't that positive for you. I imagine it feels like so much pressure to get the timing of the ovulation stick things right. Exciting that your FET cycle will start soon!

My embryo was frozen in 2016. 😳 I get you with the clinic changes. Often they don't feel very positive ones to be honest. I should be doing an FET soon and joining you all.

Hey guys!! Also planning on a sibling round for my 2 year old DD.
For her I used a donor embryo, and wanted to do the same for the second, but the clinics have changed their procedures and there's now not many donor embryos available (and I've already waited a year!).

So now I'm going for a double donor situation, currently waiting on donors, and hoping for a FET in June, all going well.

@2mumlife keeping everything crossed for you!!

@Coffeeandbooks88 oh wow 2016! You’ve got a super young wee embryo going in! 🤞🥳 I’m still really in 2 minds about whether to wait for day 13 or test on day 10. I just don’t really see much benefit to waiting another 3 days to test

@ASGIRC That’s a shame you’re having to start from fresh so to speak getting 2 more donors, rather than being able to use a donated embryo. Hope you get some good news soon.

Got a headache this evening so I’m hoping they means all the hormones are doing their thing

Hello please can I join? We have our 3yold son from ICSI 2022 sucfessful fresh transfer first time. We're planning on going for frozen embryo transfer this summer I'm just having a few months getting my body ready. Good luck everyone!

@HappyMamma2023 welcome to the thread! That’s amazing you had success first transfer. How many Frosties do you have?