Anyone here who has said they wont do another ivf cycle actually decided to try again in the new year but not actually tell anyone

[Miraclemuma03]

We had decided not to go again and have told those around us that we arnt doing anymore ivf treatment. I changed my mind and talk with hubby who has agreed to go through another round after the new year. We have a lot of commitments in jan but more free in Feb so decided around Feb and march to book in for a new cycle but without telling anyone. We are pretty private any way but shared our past 12months ivf journey with a few people and it was just adding to the exhaustion repeating and reliving our failures. We have just gone through a miscarriage and I felt like a failure explaining to everyone that unfortunately we arnt pregnant anymore and of course the comments arnt what I want to hear and as per usual not much support after the fact and not anyone checking in so its just one disappointment after another so have decided to push forward in silence. Anyone else change their mind and start a new cycle in silence and has anyone has success in their 40s who already has kids but its just not working for them this time?

No kids but 40 and pregnant through IVF. We didn’t share our journey and I think it does take a little pressure off. I think do it - IVF is tough but I think living with the regret would be a lot tougher. Sending you all of the luck for your new cycle x

I know your story, @Miraclemuma03, and I'm wishing you all the luck.

If it helps: after my cycle that failed in 2024 I struggled with some people's comments, and when they asked me if I'd try again I did lie. I just found it easier. I did tell people who I knew would be supportive, but I think some people really just have a talent for saying the wrong thing and it stays with you. I still want to smack the woman who, a couple of months after the failed cycle, heard me refer to it in passing and did a little smirk and said 'oh, I had no idea it was still so near the surface!' And also the many, many people who said 'oh, but you've got your DD' as if it was ridiculous and greedy to want another baby.

I think keeping it quiet from people who've said things that hurt you is totally fair.

Hi @SarahAndQuack how are things going?
Thank you for your comment and im also sorry you have dealt with awful comments also. We really arnt surrounded by supportive people so just decided to face it alone in the future.