IVF failed- 1st time

[MrsC14521]

Hi all,

Just found out our 1st round of IVF failed. 13 eggs collected, 2 fertilised and 1 transferred. The remaining one didn’t progress, so none frozen. Got told the embryo was of top quality like they would expect to see. This gave us really high hopes. All the positive signs were there that it was going to be successful but to say my heart broke when I seen that negative test result is an understatement. I phoned the clinic to inform them, honestly, I thought there might have been some sort of aftercare plan in place but there wasn’t, they didn’t have a councillor to offer me as they had just retired and there was no replacement yet. I have phoned my gp and they are going to sign me off work for 2 weeks and they have offered me an appointment to speak to a mental health work, 1st appointment available is in 2 weeks time. I don’t know where to start with processing everything, I keep thinking I’m doing okay then just burst into tears. I just need some advice from people in the same/similar situation.

Hi OP, I'm not in the exact same position but I didn't want to read and run 🤍

We did also have a large number of eggs collected but ended up with one 5 day blastocyst which was quite shocking but gave us a small amount of hope. However things aren't looking great right now unfortunately.

All I can say is time is truly a healer ❤️‍🩹 but you need to do all you can to allow yourself to heal and express whatever emotion you're feeling in every moment. If that's time off work then prioritise that. I would also research local charities that support fertility issues, baby loss etc... I found one in my local area and it almost feels comforting to know that they're there if I need them 🙏🏼✨

I'm so sorry OP, it's just utterly shit x

That's really awful! I thought having counselling available was pretty much mandatory - it's certainly good practice. Good for your GP for stepping up.

It's really upsetting when it doesn't work. My first round didn't work and I was just in bits.

It is a loss. It's not an easy loss for people to understand, but you've been hoping and planning, and all those hopes get crushed, and it's horrible. And your body has been preparing for a pregnancy, and all of your hormones are all over the place. So take your time and remember it is ok to sit with your grief. It's ok to not be doing ok.

The clinic ought to be able to talk through next steps with you at some point. 13 eggs collected and 2 fertilised is a very steep drop; they ought to be offering some kind of investigations for that if the causes are not known.

I'm so sorry this happened. Lots of love to you.

I've had a similar experience - well not quite - first round, only one egg retrieved, but fertilised and perfect quality on day 3 transfer. It's absolutely devastating. I don't know how long ago it was for you, but if it's any consolation I'm also bursting into tears at the drop of a hat. It feels like the right response. It's crazy that you can't even speak to anyone afterwards as a summary. Sending love xxx

Hi I had my first round on the NHS and it failed. It was deeply disheartening. Especially since a friend was going through it at the same time and was successful, but it was her 3rd round.
Im going for another round in Turkey. Im hopeful it'll be successful. Its a loney feeling :( and i dont really have anyone to talk with about it. You're not alone x

Will you be trying again? Its such a horrible feeling. I see babies around me all the time. I just want to be a mum so badly x

Hoping to go for a 2nd round around February time, just waiting for a letter to come through with a date. I work in retail and seeing babies all the time and my heart just aches cuz all I have ever wanted to be is a mum and I’m so aware time is ticking with my age. X

Trust me i understand. Im 32 now and my husband has a blockage. I feel like we're on a ticking clock. My first round wasnt successful and they said age could be a factor. I was really upset to here this. Im hopeful for the second round. I see so many babies and all ive ever wanted to be is a mum. I had someone try to comfort me and tell me to travel instead and it was such a horrible response. They probably meant no offense I just felt so low after it x