Advise please as losing hope 😢

[GLI2024]

Hi .. I spent hours reading these posts so thought it would help me to make my own and hear if anyone can share some advise or own experiences.

We have been ttc for 2.5 years now. Year one we concieved twice but misscarriaged both times under 5 weeks. Both times we concieved with 7 months.

Fast forward to now 1 year 2 months since last miscarriage and we cannot get pregnant again. I dont know why. We are under the nhs fertility clinic who have made me feel like im crazy.

They have done all the basic blood tests scans etc which shows everything as normal.

I have had to fight to get progesterone as im sure I have luthal phase defect as I spot from 7dpo most cycles. Also had hsg xray this month which also clearly didnt help.

First cycles having progesterone and I was so excited and had hope that this may help us. Yet again 9dpo and bleeding and cramping starts and can feel af arriving. Why is my body failing me so bad 😢

I dont understand why my luthal phase is so short and nothing seems to help. Tried so many supplements etc and even accupture.

I am so upset with the constant heartbreak i generally dont think I can do this much longer. I feel like im a breaking point. Everyone around me is on child 2 or 3 and we cannot even get pregnant again and have our first child.

Results all ok for my husband and way above average. I feel so bad to hold him back as he wants to be a dad so bad.

I keep thinking maybe this life wasnt meant for me and im not meant to be a mum.

The nhs have said they can't help any further now until 2 years since our last misscarriage. Which means we will be 3.5 years ttc by then. Which means we have to continue to try and concieve for another 1.2 years before any further help can be offered. I am getting older and getting so worried that our time is limited now.

I wouldn't wish this heartbreak on anyone. Its absolutely devastating not only going through two loses but now struggling to concieve again. So sorry for anyone in this position too.

Anyone who is in a similar position or has any advise would mean a lot.

Thanks as always x

aww i didn’t want to read and run as i understand your pain!
i had my first ectopic in Jan 24 (wasn’t TTC so lovely surprise), lost my tube, then tried again in July and fell pregnant in October but miscarried.
TTC straight away and nothing happened until may 25 but lost my other tube due to another ectopic.
now IVF is my only option, we have a appt next week but it’s such a mind field and i feel so lost.
Completely understand about friends having more babies when we can’t even have one!
If the nhs won’t help for another year and a bit could you look into private? xx

Hi - sorry you're going through this! I could have almost written this myself. We've been trying for 3 years and had 2 miscarriages. Had all the tests on the NHS and was all unexplained infertility.

Now going thorough IVF privately as we didn't concieve for over a year. Unfortunately the NHS in our area wouldn't fund as I've had a clinical pregnancy within the last 2 years. I also got put on progesterone for possible LPD and it didn't make a difference.

We ended up seeing a consultant privately who specialises in both fertility and recurrent miscarriage. If you can afford it then I'd recommend, but it is a bit of a money pit and we still haven't got pregnant after 2 embryo transfers and I'm about to spent a few thousand on more tests now!

I don't really have any advice other than it's just an awful journey and it's so hard when it's unexplained and there are no answers. I'm constantly saying it doesn't make any sense!

Anyway if you need any more advice or support I'm happy to help!

I’m so sorry you are going through this it’s so heartbreaking and horrible. I was ttc for over 3 years. I had a mmc 8 months into the 3 years. That pregnancy stopped growing at 11 weeks and was chromosomally abnormal, I just happened to find out because I had nipt the week before . I was 36 by the end of the 3 years so decided to go ahead with an ivf cycle privately. Because of my history it was recommended to do pgta so I did that and the first cycle I got a normal embryo that stuck . I know I was lucky but I felt like even if it hadn’t worked at least the ivf would give me some answers about embryo quality etc. I had several complex abnormal embryos in my cycle that either would have miscarried or not worked at all. I wish I’d done the ivf sooner. I still dont really know why I couldn’t get pregnant but I found the ivf less stressful than trying naturally and failing every month after my miscarriage.

Get your partner to have sperm DNA fragment test, even though perameters can come back as normal he can still have DNA frag which would effect implantation, also try probiotics that support gut and uterine microbes, ask for sticky bloods test, if you do do IVF or ICSI get your embryos PGTA tested to check for abnormal chromosomes. Good luck with your journey .. it’s so hard , we have been 6 years TTC and had 6 miscarriages.